Post by Jay Swift on Sept 18, 2013 23:11:46 GMT -4
The scene fades in and we see a picture on a wall of Anthony Royal being knocked out in the center of the ring at the end of last week’s Crash TV. Jay Swift is standing above him in the picture with cake splattered all over the place. There’s laughter in the background and the scene pans to show Jay Swift having a chuckle for what he had done last week.
Jay Swift: I’ve been in this business for six years, and I have to say, that was one of the most fun moments I’ve ever experienced.
He pauses to chuckle for a few seconds.
Jay Swift: Anthony Royal, you thought I was just going to allow you to display your little ego trip for the entire world to see. But nope, that didn’t happen. I crashed your egotistical birthday party and left you humiliated. So now Anthony, I know you’re probably plotting your revenge right now, trying to figure out how the hell you’re going to get me back for what I did to you and I challenge you to do so, because I know for a fact that in the war of the mind games, Jay Swift always stands victorious. If you don’t believe me, just ask RCH3.
Swift remembers Thunderstorm when he beat RCH3 for a few seconds, but then he looks like he’s remembering something else too.
Jay Swift: But there was something else that sort of involved me that took place at Thunderstorm. Of course, I’m talking about the War Machines and even though I haven’t really had much contact with them, they’ve been a pain in the ass to say the least and at least this week, I get to rectify that situation when I take on one of those guys. But, let me address what those guys had to say about me at Thunderstorm. You guys want to come in here and make an impact, and I can understand that because every newcomer to the business wants to do exactly that. I’m not going to hate any of you guys for wanting to make an impact but the fact of the matter is, the way you guys make that impact is not going to cut it, because the way you guys want to make your impact is nothing short of cowardly. You want to know how to really make waves when you first break in? Let me show you a little something.
Swift unpins the picture from last week, and pins another picture. It’s from May 27, 2007 in Nova Scotia. The picture shows Jay Swift standing above Bret Harris and Misty Blaze as the new NIWF Provincial Champion. It was his first NIWF match, and only the third in his professional career.
Jay Swift: THAT is how you make waves when you first break into this business. I didn’t do it by attacking people from behind. I didn’t do it by complaining about other people. I did it by stepping into that ring with two people that were just as hungry as me that night, and by becoming a champion. I didn’t need any shenanigans or gimmicks, I straight up did it. Just nine days after my first ever professional wrestling match, I was already a champion. I had already made an impact. That same night, I took out an NIWF legend known as DeWolf and his career was never the same again. By the time the year 2007 ended, he was gone. Within two weeks of all those events that night, I was the face and the man of NIWF Friday Night Terror. I was destined for greatness from day one and lo and behold, I’ve achieved said greatness throughout the years so let that be a lesson punks, THAT is how you make your impact. I’m ashamed quite frankly, that the fucking idiot Robert Carr even tried to say that I’m responsible for your existence, when I didn’t even know about it until after you guys showed up. And besides, let’s be honest here. None of you are in my league anyway, so why would I bother stooping to such low levels to be hanging out with the likes of you?
Swift pauses and then unpins the picture from 2007 from the wall. He pins a picture that he has of all three War Machines and continues.
Jay Swift: Now then, on to business shall we. I’m taking on War Machine number three. First off, it doesn’t matter which war machine it is or what the damn guy’s name is, the result is going to be no different so let me put this joke of an invasion to a halt before people start panicking over nothing. Seriously, that’s how big of a joke this is. They’re just playing along to throw me under the bus with the pathetic accusations Robert Carr made. Have you guys even seen me fight him and Tracy Adkins recently? I mean, why would I need ANYONE’S help to beat those guys? Let me spell it out for those conspiracy theorists out there smoking a joint with that idiot, I have, nor will I ever have, any associations with those pathetic War Machines whatsoever. I don’t mind helping out someone or a group of people into becoming the next big wrestling stars, as a matter of fact, I embrace a mentor role whenever it comes up. People that I’ve worked with in the past have been successes. I’m talking about people like Marina Valdivia. Yeah, obviously she’s not here because of this company’s rather bullshit sexist policies, but that woman has accomplished more in this business than you three ever will. I’m talking about people like Gemini, as an ally and an enemy. It was my initial feud with him four years ago that MADE HIM and even he’ll tell you that. People like those two? I’d love to work with again. But people like you three? Forget it.
Now Mr. War Machine 3, you say that you were once a fan of me. I appreciate that, thanks. But don’t be telling people bullshit stories about how you met me all these years ago because I have a damn good memory, if I had ever met you before I ever came to AWR, you know I would have remembered it. So, when you say that you met me and anything associated with that, it’s all a bunch of bullshit and it’s a sad attempt to grasp for straws really. And so was the sad attempt to say that Robert Carr has outwrestled me. Yeah, that’s why I’m what? 3-0 against that idiot now? So what have we established already? We have established that the War Machines obviously have some severely fucked up case of fantasy prone personality, or whatever you call that, because damn, those stories that they told about me would have sounded so much better if, you know, they were actually true. While those three were making up their stories, I was wrestling in THW and nobody ever told me about the utter existence of these guys. You three aren’t very bright are you?
Mentioning the guy I used to be?
Swift sighs.
Jay Swift: Not this crap again.
Swift shakes his head.
Jay Swift: I’m done even addressing that. Seriously people, find some NEW material will you? It’s getting really old.
He shakes his head again.
Jay Swift: Moving on. Lowest of the low? Bottom of the food chain?
Swift just yawns, as he’s obviously bored with even MENTIONING the stupidity that has been spewed at him.
Jay Swift: Whatever.
Swift looks at his watch and then he pulls out a checklist and pins it next to the picture of the War Machines. He has a bunch of things written on there. The list says:
1) Mentioning my past
2) Saying nonsense that’s grasping for straws (name calling, outright bullshit, etc)
3) Lying and making up stories to try and boost reputation
4) Not a challenge
5) Inflicted with Robert Carr Disease
6) Has no place in wrestling
7) Boring
Jay Swift: Let’s see, I made this checklist as I was predicting the things you guys were going to say, and my judgment and assumptions of you guys. So, let’s look down the list.
Swift looks at the list, and checks off number one. He then looks at number two, shakes his head, and checks it off. He facepalms when he sees number three and checks that off the list as well. Swift doesn’t hesitate to check off number four. He laughs as he checks off number five. He shrugs and hesitates none as he checks off number six and seven. Swift throws the pen behind him.
Jay Swift: Do I even want to address the rest of that promo? No.
He pulls out a red pen and writes “not good for business” on the War Machines picture.
Jay Swift: So, now that I got all that out of the way, I think that’s all that needs to be said about whatever you guys wanted to say about me. Remember earlier when I talked about finding the best ways to make your impact? Needless to say, that promo you guys cut falls to about, oh I don’t know, Bret Harris standard. I didn’t even have to step into that ring with you guys and kill your buzz and momentum, you already did that all by yourselves with your own pathetic words. So, let me sum it up for you guys, and maybe you’ll understand. I’m not associated with you guys, I’d rather die in a car accident than associate with you guys, and you guys, clearly, have no business being here. But that’s fine, because come CRASH TV, I am going to help out in getting rid of the problem because come CRASH TV, War Machine 3, hell all of you if the world’s lucky, are bound to be struck down, electrified and brutalized by Arizona Lightning, Jay Swift!
Swift unpins the War Machines photo and tears it in half. He then throws it over his shoulder.
Jay Swift: Good night folks. Wake me up when the War Machines actually say something worth a damn, which will be right around the time they finally pass the first grade after being held back there for about 25 some odd years.
Swift laughs and leaves the scene as it fades to black.
Jay Swift: I’ve been in this business for six years, and I have to say, that was one of the most fun moments I’ve ever experienced.
He pauses to chuckle for a few seconds.
Jay Swift: Anthony Royal, you thought I was just going to allow you to display your little ego trip for the entire world to see. But nope, that didn’t happen. I crashed your egotistical birthday party and left you humiliated. So now Anthony, I know you’re probably plotting your revenge right now, trying to figure out how the hell you’re going to get me back for what I did to you and I challenge you to do so, because I know for a fact that in the war of the mind games, Jay Swift always stands victorious. If you don’t believe me, just ask RCH3.
Swift remembers Thunderstorm when he beat RCH3 for a few seconds, but then he looks like he’s remembering something else too.
Jay Swift: But there was something else that sort of involved me that took place at Thunderstorm. Of course, I’m talking about the War Machines and even though I haven’t really had much contact with them, they’ve been a pain in the ass to say the least and at least this week, I get to rectify that situation when I take on one of those guys. But, let me address what those guys had to say about me at Thunderstorm. You guys want to come in here and make an impact, and I can understand that because every newcomer to the business wants to do exactly that. I’m not going to hate any of you guys for wanting to make an impact but the fact of the matter is, the way you guys make that impact is not going to cut it, because the way you guys want to make your impact is nothing short of cowardly. You want to know how to really make waves when you first break in? Let me show you a little something.
Swift unpins the picture from last week, and pins another picture. It’s from May 27, 2007 in Nova Scotia. The picture shows Jay Swift standing above Bret Harris and Misty Blaze as the new NIWF Provincial Champion. It was his first NIWF match, and only the third in his professional career.
Jay Swift: THAT is how you make waves when you first break into this business. I didn’t do it by attacking people from behind. I didn’t do it by complaining about other people. I did it by stepping into that ring with two people that were just as hungry as me that night, and by becoming a champion. I didn’t need any shenanigans or gimmicks, I straight up did it. Just nine days after my first ever professional wrestling match, I was already a champion. I had already made an impact. That same night, I took out an NIWF legend known as DeWolf and his career was never the same again. By the time the year 2007 ended, he was gone. Within two weeks of all those events that night, I was the face and the man of NIWF Friday Night Terror. I was destined for greatness from day one and lo and behold, I’ve achieved said greatness throughout the years so let that be a lesson punks, THAT is how you make your impact. I’m ashamed quite frankly, that the fucking idiot Robert Carr even tried to say that I’m responsible for your existence, when I didn’t even know about it until after you guys showed up. And besides, let’s be honest here. None of you are in my league anyway, so why would I bother stooping to such low levels to be hanging out with the likes of you?
Swift pauses and then unpins the picture from 2007 from the wall. He pins a picture that he has of all three War Machines and continues.
Jay Swift: Now then, on to business shall we. I’m taking on War Machine number three. First off, it doesn’t matter which war machine it is or what the damn guy’s name is, the result is going to be no different so let me put this joke of an invasion to a halt before people start panicking over nothing. Seriously, that’s how big of a joke this is. They’re just playing along to throw me under the bus with the pathetic accusations Robert Carr made. Have you guys even seen me fight him and Tracy Adkins recently? I mean, why would I need ANYONE’S help to beat those guys? Let me spell it out for those conspiracy theorists out there smoking a joint with that idiot, I have, nor will I ever have, any associations with those pathetic War Machines whatsoever. I don’t mind helping out someone or a group of people into becoming the next big wrestling stars, as a matter of fact, I embrace a mentor role whenever it comes up. People that I’ve worked with in the past have been successes. I’m talking about people like Marina Valdivia. Yeah, obviously she’s not here because of this company’s rather bullshit sexist policies, but that woman has accomplished more in this business than you three ever will. I’m talking about people like Gemini, as an ally and an enemy. It was my initial feud with him four years ago that MADE HIM and even he’ll tell you that. People like those two? I’d love to work with again. But people like you three? Forget it.
Now Mr. War Machine 3, you say that you were once a fan of me. I appreciate that, thanks. But don’t be telling people bullshit stories about how you met me all these years ago because I have a damn good memory, if I had ever met you before I ever came to AWR, you know I would have remembered it. So, when you say that you met me and anything associated with that, it’s all a bunch of bullshit and it’s a sad attempt to grasp for straws really. And so was the sad attempt to say that Robert Carr has outwrestled me. Yeah, that’s why I’m what? 3-0 against that idiot now? So what have we established already? We have established that the War Machines obviously have some severely fucked up case of fantasy prone personality, or whatever you call that, because damn, those stories that they told about me would have sounded so much better if, you know, they were actually true. While those three were making up their stories, I was wrestling in THW and nobody ever told me about the utter existence of these guys. You three aren’t very bright are you?
Mentioning the guy I used to be?
Swift sighs.
Jay Swift: Not this crap again.
Swift shakes his head.
Jay Swift: I’m done even addressing that. Seriously people, find some NEW material will you? It’s getting really old.
He shakes his head again.
Jay Swift: Moving on. Lowest of the low? Bottom of the food chain?
Swift just yawns, as he’s obviously bored with even MENTIONING the stupidity that has been spewed at him.
Jay Swift: Whatever.
Swift looks at his watch and then he pulls out a checklist and pins it next to the picture of the War Machines. He has a bunch of things written on there. The list says:
1) Mentioning my past
2) Saying nonsense that’s grasping for straws (name calling, outright bullshit, etc)
3) Lying and making up stories to try and boost reputation
4) Not a challenge
5) Inflicted with Robert Carr Disease
6) Has no place in wrestling
7) Boring
Jay Swift: Let’s see, I made this checklist as I was predicting the things you guys were going to say, and my judgment and assumptions of you guys. So, let’s look down the list.
Swift looks at the list, and checks off number one. He then looks at number two, shakes his head, and checks it off. He facepalms when he sees number three and checks that off the list as well. Swift doesn’t hesitate to check off number four. He laughs as he checks off number five. He shrugs and hesitates none as he checks off number six and seven. Swift throws the pen behind him.
Jay Swift: Do I even want to address the rest of that promo? No.
He pulls out a red pen and writes “not good for business” on the War Machines picture.
Jay Swift: So, now that I got all that out of the way, I think that’s all that needs to be said about whatever you guys wanted to say about me. Remember earlier when I talked about finding the best ways to make your impact? Needless to say, that promo you guys cut falls to about, oh I don’t know, Bret Harris standard. I didn’t even have to step into that ring with you guys and kill your buzz and momentum, you already did that all by yourselves with your own pathetic words. So, let me sum it up for you guys, and maybe you’ll understand. I’m not associated with you guys, I’d rather die in a car accident than associate with you guys, and you guys, clearly, have no business being here. But that’s fine, because come CRASH TV, I am going to help out in getting rid of the problem because come CRASH TV, War Machine 3, hell all of you if the world’s lucky, are bound to be struck down, electrified and brutalized by Arizona Lightning, Jay Swift!
Swift unpins the War Machines photo and tears it in half. He then throws it over his shoulder.
Jay Swift: Good night folks. Wake me up when the War Machines actually say something worth a damn, which will be right around the time they finally pass the first grade after being held back there for about 25 some odd years.
Swift laughs and leaves the scene as it fades to black.