Post by Rusty Axel on Sept 25, 2013 20:57:03 GMT -4
Its the night before Feel The Burn and Rusty is pacing the locker room in irritable mood. The camera crew walks in and initially are ignored. Rusty hums to himself then beckons the camera crew towards him. Rusty takes a swig of whisky and belches oblivious to the rudeness.
"See? I've been saying time and time again we ain't needing none of this over the top production malarkey. There's no reason to be in this building over 24 hours before a professional rasslin show. I could be out there scouting talent or looking for a new ranch to rent out. Did I tell you I wasn't insured? Only had the place 2 months I was just getting round to it just this very weekend in fact. Had it all planned a nice lil' insurance package and then Gemini did what he did..."
A loud bang goes off and Rusty sighs.
"Not them again! I hope one of them gets fired like the confetti person Tony mentioned. You know I did hear a sound louder than that once. I was walking around backstage and minding my own business. Then I heard a loud ripping noise and I walked round the corner wondering what the hell it was. Then a disgusting smell had me gagging and I almost passed out! I thought my old pal Baron Van Raschke had a debilitating claw when he slipped it on me in my rookie year once. However that was nothing compared to being near Pete when he had just broke wind!"
The camera crew look a bit disgusted at this supposed revelation.
"I had never felt anything like it in my life! It took over all my senses I thought I was gonna vomit right there! That disgusting fatass knew what he had done and just laughed out loud! The man has absolutely no shame whatsoever doing stuff like that openly in public!"
Coming from a guy who had just belched a few minutes ago...
"As disgusting as that was I don't think there's ever been a more disgusting thing created than Naughty Ned! Now I know God probably put Ned on Earth for a reason but dadgum if Old Rusty knows what it is! Now I hear young Roberto has said the winner will get Naughty Ned as a slave. Now I know some of you camera guys are young and naive but we all know what Ned's idea of slavery is!"
Rusty shudders...
"Someone just walked over my grave...brrrrrrrrr! I ain't interested in having that thing as a slave. However there's a real conundrum here as I can't let my old rasslin pals down laying down intentionally for the fat oaf. So what is a man going to do even one as wise and experienced as myself..."
Rusty ponders in thought which for him is probably not a good idea...
"Well I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get myself disqualified but not before giving Pete the absolute beating of his life! I'm gonna pulverize the big oaf give him an ass whupping of a lifetime! Then I'm gonna get the ref to disqualify me! I won't feel then like I've let the old guard down. I can protect the integrity of rasslin and lose at the same time! Everyone will know who the real winner is though when that oaf is face down on the mat and Old Rusty stands tall! What do ya all think?"
Rusty beams at the crew who just roll their eyes. Rusty then reaches into his bag...
"Look what I have here...its ma' finest beef! Just like I promised Tony! I'm gonna save it for him until tomorrow night and give it him before he faces Swift! I can just imagine the excitement on his face right now this is premium ranch produce! If anything is gonna give Tony an energy boost its gonna be my finest beef direct from ma' ranch! Its gonna have Swift shakin' in his boots knowing Tony just had a taste of heaven! I lent a few cows out to a friend before Gemini did what he did so what a great stroke of luck! I'll have a ranch rented out next week as well!"
Rusty smiles again...
"Anyway better keep my eye on this beef don't want that fatass Pete snatching it. I know Pete likes to slip into an opponents locker room before his matches so he ain't gonna sink his teeth into this! It will be me seeking my teeth into him live a ravenous T-Rex! Pete be prepared but be a man! I don't want ya running out before the match I'll let ya live but I won't let ya make a joke ou of rasslin! Keep those prostitutes away as well! Anyway lemme get back to enjoyin' ma whisky..."
Rusty takes another swig loudly belching again as the scene fades out
"See? I've been saying time and time again we ain't needing none of this over the top production malarkey. There's no reason to be in this building over 24 hours before a professional rasslin show. I could be out there scouting talent or looking for a new ranch to rent out. Did I tell you I wasn't insured? Only had the place 2 months I was just getting round to it just this very weekend in fact. Had it all planned a nice lil' insurance package and then Gemini did what he did..."
A loud bang goes off and Rusty sighs.
"Not them again! I hope one of them gets fired like the confetti person Tony mentioned. You know I did hear a sound louder than that once. I was walking around backstage and minding my own business. Then I heard a loud ripping noise and I walked round the corner wondering what the hell it was. Then a disgusting smell had me gagging and I almost passed out! I thought my old pal Baron Van Raschke had a debilitating claw when he slipped it on me in my rookie year once. However that was nothing compared to being near Pete when he had just broke wind!"
The camera crew look a bit disgusted at this supposed revelation.
"I had never felt anything like it in my life! It took over all my senses I thought I was gonna vomit right there! That disgusting fatass knew what he had done and just laughed out loud! The man has absolutely no shame whatsoever doing stuff like that openly in public!"
Coming from a guy who had just belched a few minutes ago...
"As disgusting as that was I don't think there's ever been a more disgusting thing created than Naughty Ned! Now I know God probably put Ned on Earth for a reason but dadgum if Old Rusty knows what it is! Now I hear young Roberto has said the winner will get Naughty Ned as a slave. Now I know some of you camera guys are young and naive but we all know what Ned's idea of slavery is!"
Rusty shudders...
"Someone just walked over my grave...brrrrrrrrr! I ain't interested in having that thing as a slave. However there's a real conundrum here as I can't let my old rasslin pals down laying down intentionally for the fat oaf. So what is a man going to do even one as wise and experienced as myself..."
Rusty ponders in thought which for him is probably not a good idea...
"Well I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get myself disqualified but not before giving Pete the absolute beating of his life! I'm gonna pulverize the big oaf give him an ass whupping of a lifetime! Then I'm gonna get the ref to disqualify me! I won't feel then like I've let the old guard down. I can protect the integrity of rasslin and lose at the same time! Everyone will know who the real winner is though when that oaf is face down on the mat and Old Rusty stands tall! What do ya all think?"
Rusty beams at the crew who just roll their eyes. Rusty then reaches into his bag...
"Look what I have here...its ma' finest beef! Just like I promised Tony! I'm gonna save it for him until tomorrow night and give it him before he faces Swift! I can just imagine the excitement on his face right now this is premium ranch produce! If anything is gonna give Tony an energy boost its gonna be my finest beef direct from ma' ranch! Its gonna have Swift shakin' in his boots knowing Tony just had a taste of heaven! I lent a few cows out to a friend before Gemini did what he did so what a great stroke of luck! I'll have a ranch rented out next week as well!"
Rusty smiles again...
"Anyway better keep my eye on this beef don't want that fatass Pete snatching it. I know Pete likes to slip into an opponents locker room before his matches so he ain't gonna sink his teeth into this! It will be me seeking my teeth into him live a ravenous T-Rex! Pete be prepared but be a man! I don't want ya running out before the match I'll let ya live but I won't let ya make a joke ou of rasslin! Keep those prostitutes away as well! Anyway lemme get back to enjoyin' ma whisky..."
Rusty takes another swig loudly belching again as the scene fades out