Post by Silvio Megala on Aug 1, 2013 15:23:59 GMT -4
AWR CRASH TV #34
LIVE!
The show opens with Roberto Maggia sitting at his desk in his office. He has his hands folded on the desk and a smile on his face. After a few seconds, he begins to speak.
Maggia: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Crash TV!
The crowd cheers.
Roberto: I have scheduled some great action for you all tonight, and we shall be getting to that shortly, but first, I have some business to attend to. This business pertains to some of the championships in the AWR. First, we have the AWR Tag Team Championships. As you know, before our hiatus, these titles were held by The Badd Boys, Slick Doctor and Big Bad BMann.
The crowd cheer the mention of the Badd Boys.
Roberto: Slick Doctor is still a member of the AWR roster, but, unfortunately, BMan cannot be here at this time. That leaves us with only one tag team champion. Slick is one of the all-time greats and I respect his ability, but no one man can defend tag team titles on his own. So Slick, I am giving you a choice, and you have until the end of the night to let me know what your decision is. You can either choose a new partner to hold those titles with, or you can vacate them.
Roberto gives his words a few moments to settle in and then continues to speak.
Maggia: And then, we have the AWR World Heavyweight Championship, which was last held by Kris “Fa Sho” Destiny.
Big cheers for Sho.
Maggia: Now, Mr. Destiny is somewhat of an enigma and is not an easy man to get a hold of. Myself and the AWR have reached out to him, but have gotten no response. As they say, the show must go on and it must go on with a champion. Therefore, tonight, at the end of this broadcast, I will make a decision regarding the World Championship. As for Silvio he will be here next week and it will be proven once and for all that he is my biological Father.
Maggia: Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for your time, and your undying support of the AWR. This evening wouldn’t be possible without you, and I hope you enjoy it.
Maggia smiles as we go ringside to David Saturn and Neal Steal.
David Saturn-"Here we go again! After months of internal infighting we are ready to present the fighting where it belongs in the ring! I'm David Saturn and we are coming to you LIVE from Bridgeford, Connecticut!"
Neal Steal-"Aren't you going to introduce me?"
David Saturn-"Introduce yourself..."
Neal Steal-"I'm a man who needs no introduction. I see Maggia has already put his face on the broadcast the egomaniac. When Mr Megala comes here next week he will prove Maggia's disgraceful allegations to be false!"
David Saturn-"I don't see why Megala does not admit it. Nobody believes he isn't Maggia's biological Father. Maggia has never really had any kind of Ftaher figure in his life really and..."
Neal Steal-"Boo hoo..."
David Saturn-"As Maggia stated the future of the World Title and Tag Titles will be decided tonight. NIWF legend Jay Swift is the big coup in the past month and he will be in action tonight against Robert Carr!"
Neal Steal- Mr Royal will be in action against the vulgar, coarse Rattlesnake..."
David Saturn-"RCH3 will battle Jason Skilled in the main event..."
Neal Steal-"The legendary Rusty Axel will be at ringside for that and we will also be treated to a commentary appearance. Also I have a special surprise for Rusty tonight..."
David Saturn-"Coming up first will be the title we haven't mentioned yet...the CRASH title on the line! Playboy Pete will battle a true living legend...Slick!"
Neal Steal-"What a horrible match to begin the night..."
From Ontario, Canada...Playboy...PETE!!!
Neal Steal-"I see Pete hasn't improved his taste in women. Still what do you expect from a place like Bridgeford. This is a typical taste of the night scene right here..."
David Saturn-"I guess Pete must be getting a few more ladies by his side now that he has that CRASH title around his waist..."
Neal Steal-"I don't know how he manages to get it to fit there...most of the time his pants are almost falling down to his ankles..."
From Springfield, Massachusetts...Slick...DOCTOR!!!
David Saturn-"What a reaction!"
Neal Steal-"At least there's only one...but still one too many! Where is B-Man anyway is he booked in at the Betty Ford clinic again...HA HA HA HA HA!"
David Saturn-"How many times have you made that tired old joke? Actually B-Man is injured and may or may not return to action. He was retired for a while remember he has nothing left to prove..."
Neal Steal-"He literally had nothing left! He was probably so embarrassed by his performances when he returned that he was ashamed to return..."
David Saturn-"There was nothing embarrassing whatsoever about his performances."
It seems like Pete has come to fight perhaps taking the CRASH title more seriously than his matches in the past. Naturally Slick wastes little time in bringing the fight to him. An exchange of right hands then Pete knees Slick in the ribs. That winded Slick and Pete clubs him across the back. Pete certainly with the considerable size advantage here though Slick has beaten him before.
David Saturn-"Slick and Pete not new to each other. Slick has made Pete tap out in the past and there was another match which ended after the ropes snapped..."
Neal Steal-"Maybe there should be a special separate ring reserved specially for Pete's matches so the fat ass does not break the main one..."
David Saturn-"I've lost count of how many titles Slick has won. I think he's lost count himself..."
Neal Steal-"That's from all the booze clouding his brain. As if Mr Megala would call him as he claimed it was Maggia who rehired Slop..."
Pete pulls Slick to his feet and whips him off the ropes. Slick charges back and Pete connects with a hard blow to the chest. Pete taking it to Slick and being clotheslined over the top rope won't help. Slick almost lands on his feet but ultimately drops to the floor. Pete to the outside where he bounces Slick's head off the steel steps.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha...finally Pete does something useful in his life! I don't mind Slop being close to that kind of steel!"
David Saturn-"Pete still setting sights on Jason Skilled..."
Neal Steal-"Why can't Pete leave Jason alone..."
David Saturn-"Why don't you ask him he's close enough..."
Neal Steal-"It would be an affront to my dignity to even converse with him for a second!"
He then rams Slick's face into a vacant chair (that won't count as a DQ no real difference between that and the barricade) and Pete breaks the count. That is to Pete's credit since many champions would be happy with a countout victory though Slick may have made it in time anyway. Pete moves back towards Slick who gets in a kick to the midsection.
David Saturn-"Kick to the midsection...and its hard to miss!"
Neal Steal-"This is the type of wellness policy that has been implemented in AWR. Its Maggia running it when it should be the legendary head of talent relations Rusty Axel. Someone like Pete is clearly out of shape and unfit..."
David Saturn-"Pete has passed all the physical tests..."
Neal Steal-"Not to mention Slop's severe alcohol abuse..."
Hard right hand then Slick whips Pete into the barricade. Slick charges but Pete manages to elevate Slick and drop him face first onto the barricade. Pete clubs Slick across the back then rams him into the table. A few boos for that (due to Slick's overwhelming popularity) but Slick would certainly do the same! Pete rolls Slick back into the ring as he looks to take total control.
Neal Steal-"That's one thing both are good at trash talk. All they ever do is talk complete trash!"
David Saturn-"Well if there was a world title for trash talk there's no doubt you would be the champion!"
Neal Steal"Well I have to talk a little trash just to be able to communicate with you Saturn. You have formed your own language of trash based verbiage!"
David Saturn-"You know I never doubt myself as a wrestling fan since I still manage to enjoy it despite having watched the majority with you!"
Pete with a kick to the ribs then he talks some trash though its unclear what he actually said. Pete rams Slick face first into the corner then whips him to the opposite corner. Slick hits the corner back first and drops to his knees. Cartwheel by Pete showing his decent athleticism for his size and showboating before kicking Slick in the head.
Neal Steal-"Speaking of fat people do you think we will see Skull again after his brief return to wrestling?"
David Saturn-"I don't really know what to expect from Skull. He showed up out of the blue and he may well do so again! very much hope he does..."
Neal Steal-"I'm amazed Skull never broke the ring during any of his matches."
David Saturn-"Kickout by Slick there...are we going to call a move here tonight?"
Neal Steal-"That's your job..."
Cover by Pete...1,2...and Slick gets his shoulder up. Pete isn't known as an aerial specialist but makes his way towards the turnbuckle. He only climbs to the middle rope and leaps but Slick delivers a dropkick! Expertly timed move not easy to execute that at all with Pete up close despite his size. Not the greatest aerial attack ever there by Pete and he probably wonders why he bothered.
Neal Steal-"Idiot! Seeing Pete try to jump is like watching a quadriplegic try to walk. Very sad to watch..."
David Saturn-"Well lets just say he will never compete for the cruiserweight title...not that we have one to complete for..."
Neal Steal-"We still have that hardcore title that was pointlessly brought in. Wonder what the status of that is I believe Tracy Adkins still holds it..."
Slick caught Pete right on the sternum then he drives his elbow into Pete's chest. Slick targeting the sternum as he drops another elbow. Slick lays in a couple of kicks to the body before pulling Pete to his feet. Punches now by Slick and Pete is staggered. Slick uses the middle rope to choke Pete perhaps wanting to hold him in position.
Neal Steal-"Illegal choke! Disqualify Slop Doctor at once!"
David Saturn-"I'm guessing you want Pete to retain just by the fact you hate Slop more..."
Neal Steal-"It would be great to see Slop lose another title shot..."
David Saturn-"I don't think Slick is too bothered about the CRASH title. Still we don't need you costing him a title again..."
Neal Steal-"That's only because the flight companies offer restrictions on luggage weight. A title belt would mean a couple less bottles of booze!"
Slick charges off the ropes connecting with a running knee to the back. Slick cockily taunts Pete then removes the turnbuckle pad winking to the camera as he does. The referee unsurprisingly tries to discourage Slick from doing that. The crowd cheer for Slick's cheating he's never been beyond bending a rule or two....or three...or a million. Slick however took his eyes off Pete who delivers with a clothesline! The referee is fiddling with the turnbuckle for some stupid reason and is slow as Pete makes the cover.
Neal Steal-"Blatant cheating by Slop!"
David Saturn-"You are absolutely right..."
Neal Steal-"Yet you have the audacity to call people like Mr Royal cheats! People who follow the rulebook rigidly and to the letter!"
David Saturn-"Slick has never claim to wrestle entirely fairly. I think he's having some fun with this match..."
Neal Steal-"You would never even Rusty using the word "fun" to describe a wrestling match..."
David Saturn-"Certainly nothing fun about watching him wrestle."
Pete gets a 2 count and understandably is rather annoyed. Its the ring crews job to fix the ring not the officials! Of course the ring crew probably includes some of the officials but anyhow. The match may not have been over there had the ref been quicker. Still refs shouldn't take their eyes off the action like that. Pete goes for the PLAYBOY SHUFFLE but Slick slips away landing on his feet.
Neal Steal"Hopefully Pete does the one jump he can execute well...the big splash!"
David Saturn-"Pete almost catching Slick with the Playboy Shuffle there. Both men may be a little Rusty...and I don't mean Rusty in the sense they have wrestled for 24 years and won absolutely nothing!"
Neal Steal-"Rusty will be out here later on. I'll tell him what you said..."
David Saturn-"Surely you aren't accusing him of not watching already? We all know Rusty puts so much time and commitment into his job...cough cough..."
Slick a little too quick for Pete as he delivers a bulldog before Pete can turn round! Slick goes for the lionsault but Pete rolled out of the way! Slick charges but runs right into a powerbomb! Cover...1,2...and Slick shows his toughness by kicking out! Pete looks pissed showing a little more anger and fire than we have normally seen from him. The referee timed his count fine there though...
Neal Steal-"Slop says he's a sucker for the fans. Its these fans who are the suckers still believing Slop has what it takes! The old Slop would have put Pete away in 30 seconds...not that I intend that as a compliment..."
David Saturn-"I think Pete has always been a little better than you give him credit for. Maybe a little better than I give him credit for..."
Neal Steal-"Hopefully Slop hits that exposed turnbuckle...now that would be poetic justice!"
David Saturn-"I think Pete is walking into a trap..."
Neal Steal-"More like waddling into one...I'm surprised a marina hasn't captured Pete confusing him with a killer whale..."
Right hands by Pete and Slick staggers backwards into the corner with the exposed turnbuckle. Pete charges and Slick moves at the last moment! Pete didn't know the turnbuckle was exposed and hits head first! Won't count as a DQ though some might make a case considering Slick removed the padding in the first place. Slick with a reverse DDT as Pete staggers backwards...1,2...and out of nowhere NAUGHTY NED breaks up the three count!!!!!
WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION: SLICK DOCTOR
David Saturn-"What the hell!"
Neal Steal-"Its that freak Ned! Never thought I would be pleased to see him...or her..."
David Saturn-"Well what has Ned got to do with this match? What business did Ned have out here!"
Neal Steal-"Who knows what goes through that sick perverts mind..."
Pete and Slick both get up looking bemused. Ned blows a kiss from the stage but seems to be eyeing Pete more than Slick.
Neal Steal-"Well Ned finally does something useful. Now go away..."
David Saturn-"Goodness knows what this is all about. Anyway coming up after break Rattlesnake takes on your hero...Anthony Royal!"
Neal Steal-"Yahoo!"
*****************************************************************************
From Dartmouth, Canada...RATTLESNAKE!!!
Neal Steal-"Here comes this vulgar, coarse moron."
David Saturn-"Vulgar and coarse but he's no moron."
Neal Steal-"Well I looked up a picture of Rattlesnake in the dictionary and it had a picture of Rattlesnake next to it.Anyway enough about him here comes Mr Royal! Yahoo!"
David Saturn-"These two have wrestled before. A lot of rematches on CRASH Tv tonight but the big thing is...we are back!"
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal delivering an eloquent address to his many fans earlier this week despite the severe harassment by Roberto Maggia."
David Saturn-"What fans? Apart from you I can't see any in this crowd..."
Neal Steal-"Stop lying Saturn there's one with a sign there..."
David Saturn-"Wow. Hardly anything to boast about..."
Circle, lockup and Royal trying to back Rattlesnake into the ropes. Break and both men circle again maintaining eye contact with Rattlesnake cursing as usual. Good thing the refs seem lenient about in ring language! Both men in great physical condition as the crowd taunt Royal who manages to ignore it. For the time being anyway and another lockup.
Neal Steal-"Shut up and show some respect!"
David Saturn-"Crowd chanting that Royal sucks...can't say I'm inclined to disagree..."
Neal Steal-"Shut up Saturn..."
David Saturn-"I'll state whatever opinion I feel like just as you unfortunately exercise your free speech..."
Side headlock by Snake (about as technical as he gets) and Royal shoots him off the ropes. Snake catches Royal with his forearm then charges again. Royal drops down, Snake rebounds again and Royal goes for the armdrag takedown. Snake goes to reverse, (though Royal would destroy Snake in a purely technical matchup) ducks a clothesline then hits Royal with a dropkick!
Neal Steal-"What the hell?"
David Saturn-"Don't think I've seen Rattlesnake throw a dropkick before."
Neal Steal-"Well obviously he's trying to impress Mr Royal with a new move."
David Saturn-"Rattlesnake couldn't care less what people think."
Nice move surprising the crowd and Royal rolls to the outside where he lets the taunts start getting to him. Royal needs to keep his mind on business (Steal tries to calm him down professionally leaving his commentary position though he has served as Royal's ringside manager on occasion)and he gets back into the ring. Lockup and side headlock applied by Snake again.
David Saturn-"I don't know whether to be pleased or annoyed that you just left your position..."
Neal Steal-"I'm entitled to speak to Mr Royal..."
David Saturn-"Well just stay behind this desk and do it."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal takes the arm...beautiful technical counter..."
David Saturn-"Think that's one of the first things they work on in wrestling training grabbing a lock on the arm."
Royal gets out by taking Rattlesnake's arm and yanking on it countering into a hammerlock. Rattlesnake reverses it then quickly goes into another side headlock. Not the most captivating offence perhaps Snake is trying to make a point here by suggesting he is better technically than anyone thinks. Royal breaks it by shooting Snake off the ropes again.
Neal Steal-"Why is Mr Royal having his time wasted with the likes of Rattlesnake? The only thing he should have tonight is a title presentation in the ring and an apology from Maggia."
David Saturn-"Don't think we have seen the last of Royal tonight..."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal stated the truth this past week. Maggia blackmailed his way to power you can't deny it Saturn..."
David Saturn-"I don't deny it but you can't say Silvio didn't have it coming..."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal has suffered due to Maggia but what Mr Megala has had to put up with is beyond compare...its lies!"
David Saturn-"Well Maggia has promised to prove it next week and he has never lied to the fans. Wauit what are you doing...COME BACK HERE!"
Steal suddenly grabs Snake's leg having risen from his seat again. Snake is distracted by it obviously and Royal connects with a clubbing blow to the back. Royal rams Snake's head into the corner. Kicks here by Royal and a hard right hand. Royal certainly very quick with his fists but certainly a lot of cruiserweight sixed boxers can throw right hands like heavyweight.
David Saturn-"You had no business doing that! You can't manage and announce at the same time!"
Neal Steal-"I can multitask perfectly well! Rattlesnake swore at me..."
David Saturn-"I'm sure he will be swearing at you next chance he gets. Stay right here..."
Neal Steal-"Hit me then. What Maggia said last year still stands. You hit me and you're fired..."
David Saturn-"Wouldn't mind if you hit me...the same applies to you!"
In virtually every sense except size Royal is a heavyweight in every sense. Snake whipped into the corner and Royal follows up with a clothesline. Snake falls to the mat and Royal taunts the crowd. Right hand by Royal, whip off the ropes and Royal going downstairs but not all the way downstairs! Running kneelift and Royal pulls Snake to his feet and whips him off the ropes again.
Neal Steal-"Most of the wrestlers had to be rehired but Mr Royal has a multi year unbreakable contract! Signed by Mr Megala..."
David Saturn-"Her certainly has the longest from what I believe. Of course he also has the most expensive lawyers."
Neal Steal-"Mr Megala and Mr Royal trust each other so much that a simple handshake would have been enough...but that's not how big businessmen do business."
David Saturn-"Yes a relationship so solid that Royal was quick to believe it was Megala pulling the strings before Maggia's role became apparent..."
Snake gets in a kick as he rebounds then follows that up with a dropkick. Two more consecutive dropkicks therefore Rattlesnake is showing he isn't bad at dropkicks. Maybe he has been working on the new offence while the company was shutdown. Rattlesnake then goes back to his more traditional attack with a stomp followed by a fistdrop to the throat.
Neal Steal-"You won't pin Mr Royal with that! That is insulting to Mr Royal..."
David Saturn-"I don't think Rattlesnake expected to pin Royal with that..."
Neal Steal-"That referee was a bit fast Mr Royal kicked out at 1 by my timing..."
David Saturn-"I guess you think even a one count on Royal would be a major achievement..."
Royal kicks out at 2 and Snake pulls him up. Royal whipped off the ropes, rebounds and Snake catches him with an elbow followed by a DDT! Snake scored that one and he gets another 2 count. Cover was too lazy though Snake needed to press down all his weight and hook the leg there. Of course that probably wouldn't have been enough for a 3 count on Royal regardless.
David Saturn-"Royal on the ropes here..."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal can see every move Rattlesnake does...he is anticipating the stunner any moment...well an attempt at it..."
David Saturn-"You may be right...Snake almost got it!"
Neal Steal-"...and now its LIGHTS OUT fo you Snake! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Right hand by Snake and he goes for the STUNNER. Royal blocks it, tugs the arm then lifts Snake into the air...LIGHTS OUT! Hit that out of nowhere! 1,2...3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: ANTHONY ROYAL
Neal Steal-"Yahoo!"
David Saturn-"The winner is Royal...but the victory may not be emphatic enough for him..."
Royal stomps on Snake then places his head and throat over the edge of the apron. Royal takes a chair and drives it down right into Snake's throat! Snake falls to the floor clutching his throat as Royal grins taking pleasure in his action there.
David Saturn-"Totally uncalled for!"
Neal Steal-"Well that will make Snake's voice even raspier than usual! Ha ha ha ha ha...what a shame if we are to be deprived of his "dulcet tones" for a while...ha ha ha!"
David Saturn-"Oh shut up! Rattlesnake needs some assistance here and we will be right back in just a moment with the AWR debut of former NIWF superstar Jay Swift!"
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal impressive as always!"
*****************************************************************************
Neal Steal-"A special treat for us all as the legendary Rusty Axel will join us on commentary."
David Saturn-"I assumed it might be for Jason's match with RCH since Rusty is still serving as his manager..."
Neal Steal-"Well since Rusty is here I have an announcement..."
David Saturn-"If you're leaving announce position again could it be permanent..."
Steal stands up which is enough for an emphatic chorus of boos. Steal beckons Rusty into the ring carrying a package under his arm.
Neal Steal-"Not shut up and be quiet and be graced by the presence of this legend of professional rasslin!"
More boos from the crowd some directed at Rusty but Steal is overwhelmingly unpopular.
Neal Steal-"Now Rusty I know you're a humble man who stays in the background without making a fuss. However given your reputation as a legend I want to tell everybody that today is Rusty's 54th birthday! 35 years of those 54 years spent providing quality entertainment for rasslin fans worldwide!"
Rusty wipes a tear from his eye as Steal wipes the mic before handing it over...
Rusty Axel-"Well I'm very humbled by your respect Neal. Its nice to know that some people still respect those of high standing in the business. I'm not embarrassed by my age being announced its a testament to my longevity in this business. I would like to promise each and every one of ya now..."
Rusty wipes away another tear. Saturn shakes his head at ringside...
Rusty Axel-"I love this business and I still intend to entertain each and everyone of you on screen for years to come! Lemme tell ya somethin' else as well...I've never met a finer, more respectable man in this business than Neal Steal. So lets have a big cheer for Neal!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Steal wipes away a tear as well and claps Rusty before taking back the mic...
Neal Steal-"Now lets all have a rousing rendition of the traditional birthday song...happy birthday to you!" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..."
The crowd chant BOO to rhyme with YOU as Steal sings...
Neal Steal-"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR RUSTY...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!"
The crowd begin a BORING chant as Steal hands Rusty his presumed birthday gift...
Neal Steal-"Now lets see Rusty open his present!"
Rusty rips off the packaging and inside is a cake shaped like a wrestling ring...
Neal Steal-"How appropriate!"
Rusty Axel-"I gotta tell ya Neal...I appreciate this...it might be the happiest birthday Old Rusty has ever had!"
Steal and Rusty take their seats next to Saturn as the crowd boo. That will soon change to cheers...well not for Robert Carr...
From Ontario, Canada...Robert...CARR!!!
Rusty Axel-"Here comes Robert! Finally getting a fair shake from some member of senior management..."
David Saturn-"Meaning yourself...so are you out here to commentate on Carr's match before Jason comes out. Or do you manage both..."
Rusty Axel-"I would be happy to manage Robert as well. Right now however I need to take a few notes...have you got a pen and paper Neal? Thank you..."
Neal Steal-""Is that free autographs for the fans behind us...how generous..."
Rusty Axel-"Nope...just for my assignment as head of talent relations..."
David Saturn-"A great reception for Jay Swift a man who accomplished much in NIWF, UHWF and most recently in THW!"
Rusty Axel-"I came out here to take a look at this boi..."
David Saturn-"You're out here to take a look at Jay Swift? Why?"
Neal Steal-"Well why not? He's the head of talent relations..."
Lockup to start the match and Carr quickly cinches in a side headlock. Swift tries to break his grip, but Carr pulls him right back in. Swift tries to break it again, and this time he is able to, and is also able to apply a side headlock of his own. Carr tries to send Swift off the ropes, but Swift grabs a handful of Carr's hair to stop himself from being sent across the ring and pulls Carr back into a headlock.
Rusty Axel-"Maggia hired this kid I just want to see what this expensive contract is all about..."
David Saturn-"Well surely even you are aware of Jay Swift's reputation?"
Rusty Axel-"I've heard a thing or two but I wanted to see him in the flesh. I'm only doing my job..."
Neal Steal-"Exactly Saturn he's simply out here to make sure Maggia hasn't hired somebody who isn't up to it!"
David Saturn-"You know full Swift is up to it Steal. You were in NIWF and even in THW for a short time..."
Neal Steal-"He succeeded there because of that biased owner THW had...they were very close..."
David Saturn"Swift succeeded on his own merits...is that MARKS OUT OF 10 you're writing? Why the hell have you got a mark for his hairstyle?"
Rusty Axel-"I'm marking his rasslin performance yes. I heard he was rude about Carr's abilities maybe he needs to be humbled."
David Saturn-"Swift has less to prove than Carr does..."
Carr again tries to send Swift off the ropes, but Swift again using Carr’s hair to his advantage. Swift tugs Carr into the corner by his hair where he rams his face into the turnbuckle ten times as the crowd chants along. Carr then staggers out into a massive right hand. Swift goes for an Irish whip, but Carr reverses. However, Carr lowers his head early and Swift catches him with a kick to the sternum.
Rusty Axel-"He's not too bad. I think the kid might have rassled before as you suggested..."
David Saturn-"Its all on tape...why don't you RESEARCH the talent! You're only doing this because its a Maggia hire...surely even you can't be this oblivious. I think you know who Swift is..."
Neal Steal-"Would you like a piece of rasslin ring cake Rusty?"
Rusty Axel-"Well I wouldn't normally eat or drink on the job but it is my birthday..."
Neal Steal-"Exactly. Be nice for once Saturn at least for the mans birthday..."
David Saturn (muttering sarcastically)- "Rasslin ring cake..."
Swift then charges Carr, but Carr delivers a drop toe hold that spills Swift to the outside of the ring. Carr quickly goes out after Swift and stomps the life out of him. Carr then brings Swift to his feet and slams him back first into the apron before sending him back into the ring. Carr backs Swift into the corner and assaults him with punches and kicks until the ref makes him break.
Neal Steal-"Everybody deserves a birthday present you're just upset because you haven't been given any cake Saturn..."
David Saturn-"Of course everyone deserves a present but what I'm upset about is this ignorant treatment of Jay Swift. He's a world class wrestler..."
Rusty Axel-"I haven't said he's not Saturn. All I'm doing is my job scouting some guy who Maggia hired..."
David Saturn-"He is not some guy...he's Jay Swift for crying out loud!"
Carr pulls Swift out of the corner and delivers a suplex. Cover, 1…2…kick out. Carr stays on the attack with more stomps. Swift is backed into the corner and Carr delivers shoulders to the gut. Swift stumbles out of the corner and Carr drops him with a big left hand. Cover, 1…2…kick out...that wouldn't put Jay Swift away. Carr drives his knee into Swift’s back and pulls his arms.
David Saturn-"I'm pretty sure Swift won't be happy about this..."
Neal Steal-"Well its a lot of pressure being monitored by Rusty but Swift has to accept thats how it works under Rusty's talent evaluation process..."
David Saturn-"Why would he feel pressured by a man who's never won a title in over 30 years!!!"
Rusty Axel-"Now watch your mouth Saturn...that's irrelevant I've always been a company man..."
Neal Steal-"For goodness sake its the mans birthday Saturn..."
Swift fights to his feet but Carr knees him in the gut and delivers a scoop slam. Carr heads to the second rope and mocks Swift before leaping off, but Swift gets a boot up, which connects with Carr’s chin.Swift delivers big forearms now which stagger Carr. Off the ropes swiftly (pun intended) and a clothesline takes Carr down. Carr back up and right back down courtesy of another clothesline.
Rusty Axel-"He's a bit on the small side this Swift guy ain't he..."
David Saturn-"THIS SWIFT GUY! Just listen for once Rusty this man is a tremendous coup by Maggia..."
Neal Steal-"Maggia knows nothing about the sport of professional rasslin and nobody knows more than Rusty..."
David Saturn-"If he knows that much he will know how good Jay Swift is...this is embarrassing to watch you writing these notes out here. Swift is too focused to notice otherwise I'm sure he would be pissed off and rightly so..."
Swift whips Carr across the ropes and catches him with a big back body drop! Carr stumbles to his feet and walks right into a belly to belly suplex! Cover 1…2…NO! Carr just gets a shoulder up. Swift looks for a german suplex, but Carr flips out of it and lands on his feet. CARR CRASH!!! Cover. 1…2…3 NO! Swift somehow kicks out. Carr can’t believe it typically moaning to the official.
Rusty Axel-"Now that official just slow counted! There's no way this jabroni would have kicked out of that!"
David Saturn-"He kicked out clear as day! Tremendous resilience by Jay Swift..."
Neal Steal-"Bet nobody invited you to Birthday parties Saturn treating people like this on their birthday..."
David Saturn-"Oh shut up Steal!"
He rams Swift face first into the turnbuckle before dragging him to the center of the ring. Big left hand by Carr and then he sets Swift on the top turnbuckle, with Swift’s back facing him. Carr gets up as well and it looks like he’s setting up for a top rope backdrop. This could break Swift’s back. Swift realizes the dire straits he is in and desperately throws wild elbows at Carr, trying to escape.
Rusty Axel-"He's losing his composure..."
David Saturn-"Its called defending yourself..."
Neal Steal-Come on Robert don't let Rusty down on his birthday!"
Rusty Axel-"Old Rusty won't be let down...of course I'm not pulling either way...may the best man win."
Neal Steal-"Absolutely! Erm...go Swift!"
Finally, he does and Carr spills to the mat. Swift then comes off the top with an elbow. He pops up and signals for the PHOENIX FACEBREAKER. Carr stumbles up and Swift looks for it, but Carr pushes him off, sending him sternum first into the corner. Carr charges in, but Swift catches him with a back elbow.
David Saturn-"You moan about steroids now you moan about Swift being too small. What exactly do you want?"
Rusty Axel-"I want rasslers not some Johnny come lately who Maggia hired. The fact that Maggia hired him probably means he has little respect for my profession..."
David Saturn-"Swift has total respect for those who deserve it in wrestling. Goodness knows what he will think of this debacle...this is so insulting and patronising. Its embarrassing to see Swift treated like this..."
Neal Steal-"He's got to pay his dues..."
David Saturn-"Rusty might not know who he is...which is scary considering his position as head of talent relations...but you do!"
Swift goes after Carr, but Carr catches him with a boot to the midsection. Carr now looks for a suplex. He has Swift up, but not all the way and Swift fights his way back down and from out of nowhere hits the PHOENIX FACEBREAKER! Cover, 1…2…3!
WINNER BY PINFALL: JAY SWIFT
David Saturn-"Ha ha! How do you like that?"
Rusty Axel-"Well I...well that wasn't too shabby. Old Rusty was a little impressed..."
Neal Steal-"Credit to Carr wrestling while ill. Saw hi puking backstage earlier its a credit he came out here..."
David Saturn-"Stop lying! Nothing wrong with Carr! Swift was the better man here and the winner on his AWR debut! We will be back right after commercial!"
*****************************************************************************
From Gaithersburg, Maryland...Jason...SKILLED!!!
Neal Steal-"Another Rusty guy out here now but Jason ain't ill like Carr was...I hear RCH is ill though..."
David Saturn-"I ahven't heard anything about RCH being ill..."
Neal Steal-"Well he is ill...mentally ill..."
David Saturn-"He's unorthodox...and a bit strange. That's not mental illness Steal."
Neal Steal-"Well here he comes...the blunt hatchet warrior..."
From the Dark Forest...RCH...333333333!!!
Neal Steal-"RCH stupidly waving that hatchet not watching his opponent. The guys a moron...taking his eyes off the talented Jason Skilled..."
David Saturn-"As you can see Rusty is still out here...the manager of Jason Skilled..."
Neal Steal-"I might contact arena management about dangerous weaponry. That hatchet shouldn't be allowed..."
[David Saturn-"Well you have done such jackass acts in the past..."
Jason wasting little time as he slides into the ring and goes at RCH from behind. Maybe the wisest move as RCH is liable to knock someone's head off their shoulders with that hatchet. That may also have been Rusty giving bad advice as always. RCH gets the better of the initial exchange (other than dropping the hatchet after Jason's charge from behind) and goes for a whip.
Neal Steal-"Look at the contrast. Jason has an encyclopedia of knowledge about the wrestling profession at ringside and RCH has a damn hatchet..."
David Saturn-"The hatchet is probably far more useful. Its unlikely to cost RCH the match through sheer incompetence...and why is it wrestling again now? Its only rasslin when Rusty is here is it?"
Neal Steal-"We still have Maggia out here after this...egomaniac coming out here for the end of the show..."
David Saturn-"Its about the titles and what will happen with them..."
Jason reverses, RCH rebounds catching Jason with a right hand. Jason tries to hit back but is unlikely to beat the unconventional RCH in a fist fight despite being even sized. RCH with multiple shots and then he plants Jason face first into the mat! Looked like a DDT but maybe RCH didn't get the full execution on it as Jason quickly up to his knees. RCH with a cradle...1,2...and Jason kicks out.
Neal Steal-"Back in Rusty's day there were one or two freaks but nobody this bad. RCH is certifiable...a lunatic!"
David Saturn-"As far as I know he hasn't decapitated anyone with that hatchet. His in ring performance is entirely within the rules...usually..."
Neal Steal-"Look at Rusty. Its the mans birthday and here he is putting the business first! That's the old school mentality..."
David Saturn-"You haven't come out with your usual crap about him wrestling the likes of Lou Thesz yet..."
Neal Steal-"There's a lot of old wrestlers watching this. Proudly watching Rusty building the bridge between the past and the present!"
RCH with a hard right hand (RCH certainly can throw a stiff jab if its not essentially his signature offence) and backs Jason into the ropes. Jason reverses a whip, RCH rebounds and Jason gets in an elbow. Jason isn't the worst blow for blow fighter but still a step behind RCH fist for first. Plus the hatchet probably has more use as an inanimate object than Rusty does as an actual human!
David Saturn-"Jason has such potential. He's a arrogant young man but that isn't the worst crime. He should ditch Rusty, humble himself a bit and just work on it..."
Neal Steal-"It would be insane to ditch Rusty when he's providing his services for free. Jason is soaking up every bit of knowledge. He will be a future world champion here in AWR if Mr Royal ever retires..."
David Saturn-"Could you put that cake away? You know what happens on a wrestling show when there's a cake around..."
Neal Steal-"Its staying right here. I'm saving some for Mr Royal when Maggia is forced to hand him the World heavyweight title..."
In terms of being a pure athlete Jason may well be better as he knees RCH in the face. RCH is down and Jason charges off the ropes getting maximum velocity behind a strong kick to the face. Jason is a little slow to follow up (thanks to Rusty stupidly beckoning Jason over for instructions) and RCH charges. Both men go toppling through the ropes to the outside.
David Saturn-"Well done Rusty...distracting your charge when he had momentum..."
Neal Steal-"Jason wasn't going to get ahead of himself. He knows he's better than RCH but he's not going to disrespect an inferior talent..."
David Saturn-"Jason isn't at RCH's level yet. Stop treating people like RCH and Swift like nobodies the audience isn't stupid..."
Neal Steal-"I think most are retarded which is worse than stupid.."
The ref warns Rusty as he gets too close. RCH rams Jason face first into the steel steps! Kick to the ribs and RCH roughly takes Jason back into the ring. RCH to the top rope as Jason is staggered and comes off with a flying clothesline! RCH usually prefers a leg drop from the top rope but that was also a tremendous athletic move.
Neal Steal-"Wonder what RCH has been doing with the forest folk these past few months. How the hell did the company contact him. What do they do send mail to RCH3, cabin shack, dark forest?"
David Saturn-"I'm pretty sure it was Maggia who brought him back."
Neal Steal-"Naturally...a guy like RCH with such little respect for the sport. Rusty has been in the ring with people like Thesz, Race, Ladd...he must feel a little empty inside seeing people like RCH mocking his profession..."
David Saturn-"At least RCH knows who Jay Swift is..."
Jason in trouble here and RCH makes the cover...1,2...and a kickout. Rusty then blatantly distracts RCH as the ref checks on Jason and drives his neck down across the top rope)That was actually useful despite Rusty doing it and it allows Jason to take advantage as he lifts RCH above his head and slams him to the canvas!
David Saturn-"Rusty so fair and impartial as usual..."
Neal Steal-"He certainly is glad you have noted it..."
David Saturn-"Sarcasm is lost on you..."
Neal Steal-"I was hoping you would tone down the sarcasm. You're one of the most sarcastic people I've ever met Saturn its a bad character trait..."
David Saturn-"Last people I'm taking character lessons from is you!"
Cover...1,2...and RCH kicks out. Jason pounding on RCH now then he kicks RCH in the face. RCH starts to rise to his feet as Jason connects with a right. Another right and RCH backed into the corner. Jason with consecutive knees to the ribs then whips RCH to the opposite corner. RCH staggers out and Jason lands a vicious kick to the face...1,2...shoulder up!
Neal Steal-"Look at RCH. He kicked out there through stupidity...still he's not bothered about his looks. Why does RCH need that paint did someone throw acid in his face or something?"
David Saturn-"There's no rule against facepaint. Its what he's comfortable using. He's comfortable in his own skin..."
Neal Steal-"Yet he covers himself in that paint the freak..."
David Saturn-"Just shut up! He can wear however much pain he wants! I wouldn't care if he came out looking like the jolly green giant its what he does in the ring..."
Neal Steal-"Well you have always been lax on presentation. Look at that shirt its loose and you're not even wearing a tie..."
Jason frustrated by that immediately making another cover...same result. Jason pulls RCH to his feet, right hand and again backs RCH into the corner. RCH reverses a whip to the opposite corner but with great agility Jason springs to the top rope. Jason misses with a moonsault (not quite a full swanton as RCH was standing) and turns round to receive a flying elbow smash to the face!
David Saturn-"Something else to moan about...RCH having the audacity to go for a cover..."
Neal Steal-"Lets just get Jason's victory over with and get to the World title business!"
David Saturn-"RCH looks more like a winner at the moment..."
Neal Steal-"RCH could be wearing any number of medals or belts and he would still look like an absolute loser!"
What a blow and RCH then drops an elbow...1,2...kickout. Both men quick to their feet and RCH goes for the whip. Jason reverses, RCH charges back, ducks a clothesline and on the second rebound RCH lands a hard shoulder tackle. Jason back up, another whip and RCH connects with a double axe handle blow to the chest. Jason reverses a whip into the corner then goes for a crossbody.
Neal Steal-"Come on Jason! He's got...oh no!"
David Saturn-"Jason caught in the hatchet warrior's web!"
Neal Steal-"Rusty will tell him how to slip out of this!"
David Saturn-"Jason knows RCH can beat him...he has before..."
Since RCH was in the corner that was probably more intended to knock the air out of RCH than cover him. RCH however catches Jason! A brief pause as the crowd anticipate RCH's next move...backdrop! There was no escape for Jason there...RCH with the cover...1,2...and Jason manages to kick out! Rusty is on the apron again distracting RCH as he argues with the ref.
David Saturn-"Oh get down for crying out loud!"
Neal Steal-"ITS THE MANS BIRTHDAY!"
David Saturn-"WHO CARES!"
Neal Steal-"This referee needs to have a little respect..."
However he takes his eyes off Jason who comes from behind with a rollup! 1,2...and almost caught RCH there! Jason pulls RCH up and Rusty is on the apron again yelling instructions. RCH suddenly shoves Jason into Rusty knocking the "legend" to the floor! RCH goes for a DDT but Jason blocks and whips RCH into the corner. However RCH moves at the last moment and Jason hits the turnbuckle.
David Saturn-"Its not looking good for Jason!"
Neal Steal-"Rusty will tell him what to do...oh no!"
David Saturn-"RCH looks like he has this one all wrapped up!"
Neal Steal-"You're insulting Rusty with that comment aren't you? Insulting the legend on his birthday..."
This sets up the ideal opportunity for RCH to hit the HATCHET SPLASH! Jason staggers backwards and RCH delivers the HATCHET DEATH DROP! 1,2...3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: RCH3
David Saturn-"Well this is a birthday Rusty will never forget!"
Neal Steal-"Trust this freak to try and ruin things! Still Rusty will be watching as proudly as me when Mr Royal is granted his rightful status as the AWR World Champion!"
David Saturn-"We will see what goes down in just a few moments!"
*****************************************************************************
As we return from the final commercial Roberto Maggia is in the ring with a mic in hand. In the center of the ring is a pedestal with the AWR Championship sitting on it. After a few moments, Maggia begins to speak.
Maggia: Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’ve enjoyed the AWR’s return show!
The crowd cheers.
Neal Steal-"SHUT UP!"
Maggia: Now, earlier tonight I said I would be making decisions regarding the Tag Team and the World Championships. Due to the fact that his partner will not be returning to the AWR, at least not at this time, I gave Slick Doctor the opportunity to decide what he wants to do with the Tag Team Titles, so, without further ado, Slick, please join me in the ring and give me your decision.
Neal Steal-"Oh great he's bringing Slop out here. There's no booze yet Slop the champagne is on ice for Mr Royal and too rich for your standards!"
David Saturn-"The future of the tag titles about to be determined here..."
After a few moments, Slick’s music plays and he appears on the stage a Tag Title belt on each shoulder. He enters the ring and takes a mic.
Slick: I’m gonna keep this short and sweet. I won these titles with BMan, and I’ll only defend them with BMan. As much as it sucks, if he can’t be here, then I can’t hold onto these.
Slick takes one last look at the belts, then hands them over to Maggia and exits the ring..
Neal Steal-"At least he's going. This is a sombre occasion to be conducted with dignity and respect...that's what is befitting of a man like Mr Royal!"
David Saturn-"Shut up and lets see what happens...I high doubt Royal will get what he wants!"
Maggia: Thank you, Slick. Now, that just leaves the World Championship. I know that Kris Destiny is the rightful champion, and I know that he is a fan favorite, but the fact is, we have tried to get ahold of him to no avail, and the AWR simply cannot succeed without a World Champion, so a new one must be crowned.
The crowd boos this, as they like Sho representing them as Champion.
Neal Steal-"Cheering for a guy who attempted to murder one of the finest men this business...or for that matter the world has ever seen..."
David Saturn-"Sho has really screwed up here..."
Maggia: Don’t worry though, I have something in mind that you will love. So, without further ado, the fate of the World Championship…
Maggia is interrupted by the sound of “Say Hello” by POD blaring over the PA system. Royal appears on the stage with a mic in hand and a huge smile on his face. He begins speaking as he walks down the ramp.
Royal: Bob, Bob, Bob, save the dramatics and the drum roll. Just tell everybody that you are doing the right thing. Tell everybody that the man who is the new World Heavyweight Champion is the man who it should have been all along.
Royal hops onto the apron and into the ring.
Royal: Announce the new World Heavyweight Champion….Anthony Royal!
Neal Steal-"Do as Mr Royal says Maggia!"
David Saturn-"It would be a highly unpopular decision...and it looks like Maggia will not bow down to Royal!"
The crowd boos heavily as Royal smiles and raises his arms in the air. However, Maggia shakes his head no, wiping the smile right off Royal’s face.
Royal: If you’re not going to give it to me…I’m going to take it.
Neal Steal-"Yahoo! Mr Royal is taking what is rightfully his!"
David Saturn-"He has no right to just claim the belt!"
Royal reaches out to the podium the belt is sitting on and goes to snatch it, but before he can, Maggia grabs it. Royal’s eyes fill with anger as he screams at Maggia to do the right thing. He is in Maggia’s face now, demanding the Championship, but Maggia stands his ground and shakes his head no. Things are starting to look as if they are going to get bad when suddenly the crowd erupts with cheers. Royal doesn’t know it, but Kris Destiny has come through the crowd. He gets in the ring, grabs Royal by the shoulder, spins him around and starts laying into him with big right hands.
Neal Steal-"The maniac is here! Why the hell has he shown up so late!"
David Saturn-"Well its like you say Sho is a maniac...and how can we predict his actions!"
He backs Royal into the ropes and whips him across, perhaps looking for SHOTIME, but Royal hooks the ropes and bails to the outside of the ring. Suddenly, Destiny turns his attention to Maggia. He backs him into the corner and rips the belt away from him. He then backs away and Maggia quickly leaves the ring. Destiny then ascends the turnbuckle and holds the belt in the air as his music plays and Royal throws an absolute fit.
Neal Steal-"This is not right! I bet this was a conspiracy between Sho and Maggia all along!"
David Saturn-"Royal had no business being out here in the first place...and judging by that look Sho still does not trust Maggia one bit!"
Neal Steal-"Well Maggia will be put in his place once and for all when Mr Megala is here next week!"
David Saturn-"We will see you again in seven days LIVE on CRASH Tv!"
LIVE!
FROM WEBSTER BANK ARENA, BRIDGEFORD, CONNECTICUT
The show opens with Roberto Maggia sitting at his desk in his office. He has his hands folded on the desk and a smile on his face. After a few seconds, he begins to speak.
Maggia: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Crash TV!
The crowd cheers.
Roberto: I have scheduled some great action for you all tonight, and we shall be getting to that shortly, but first, I have some business to attend to. This business pertains to some of the championships in the AWR. First, we have the AWR Tag Team Championships. As you know, before our hiatus, these titles were held by The Badd Boys, Slick Doctor and Big Bad BMann.
The crowd cheer the mention of the Badd Boys.
Roberto: Slick Doctor is still a member of the AWR roster, but, unfortunately, BMan cannot be here at this time. That leaves us with only one tag team champion. Slick is one of the all-time greats and I respect his ability, but no one man can defend tag team titles on his own. So Slick, I am giving you a choice, and you have until the end of the night to let me know what your decision is. You can either choose a new partner to hold those titles with, or you can vacate them.
Roberto gives his words a few moments to settle in and then continues to speak.
Maggia: And then, we have the AWR World Heavyweight Championship, which was last held by Kris “Fa Sho” Destiny.
Big cheers for Sho.
Maggia: Now, Mr. Destiny is somewhat of an enigma and is not an easy man to get a hold of. Myself and the AWR have reached out to him, but have gotten no response. As they say, the show must go on and it must go on with a champion. Therefore, tonight, at the end of this broadcast, I will make a decision regarding the World Championship. As for Silvio he will be here next week and it will be proven once and for all that he is my biological Father.
Maggia: Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for your time, and your undying support of the AWR. This evening wouldn’t be possible without you, and I hope you enjoy it.
Maggia smiles as we go ringside to David Saturn and Neal Steal.
COMMENTATORS
AND
David Saturn-"Here we go again! After months of internal infighting we are ready to present the fighting where it belongs in the ring! I'm David Saturn and we are coming to you LIVE from Bridgeford, Connecticut!"
Neal Steal-"Aren't you going to introduce me?"
David Saturn-"Introduce yourself..."
Neal Steal-"I'm a man who needs no introduction. I see Maggia has already put his face on the broadcast the egomaniac. When Mr Megala comes here next week he will prove Maggia's disgraceful allegations to be false!"
David Saturn-"I don't see why Megala does not admit it. Nobody believes he isn't Maggia's biological Father. Maggia has never really had any kind of Ftaher figure in his life really and..."
Neal Steal-"Boo hoo..."
David Saturn-"As Maggia stated the future of the World Title and Tag Titles will be decided tonight. NIWF legend Jay Swift is the big coup in the past month and he will be in action tonight against Robert Carr!"
Neal Steal- Mr Royal will be in action against the vulgar, coarse Rattlesnake..."
David Saturn-"RCH3 will battle Jason Skilled in the main event..."
Neal Steal-"The legendary Rusty Axel will be at ringside for that and we will also be treated to a commentary appearance. Also I have a special surprise for Rusty tonight..."
David Saturn-"Coming up first will be the title we haven't mentioned yet...the CRASH title on the line! Playboy Pete will battle a true living legend...Slick!"
Neal Steal-"What a horrible match to begin the night..."
VS
From Ontario, Canada...Playboy...PETE!!!
Neal Steal-"I see Pete hasn't improved his taste in women. Still what do you expect from a place like Bridgeford. This is a typical taste of the night scene right here..."
David Saturn-"I guess Pete must be getting a few more ladies by his side now that he has that CRASH title around his waist..."
Neal Steal-"I don't know how he manages to get it to fit there...most of the time his pants are almost falling down to his ankles..."
From Springfield, Massachusetts...Slick...DOCTOR!!!
David Saturn-"What a reaction!"
Neal Steal-"At least there's only one...but still one too many! Where is B-Man anyway is he booked in at the Betty Ford clinic again...HA HA HA HA HA!"
David Saturn-"How many times have you made that tired old joke? Actually B-Man is injured and may or may not return to action. He was retired for a while remember he has nothing left to prove..."
Neal Steal-"He literally had nothing left! He was probably so embarrassed by his performances when he returned that he was ashamed to return..."
David Saturn-"There was nothing embarrassing whatsoever about his performances."
It seems like Pete has come to fight perhaps taking the CRASH title more seriously than his matches in the past. Naturally Slick wastes little time in bringing the fight to him. An exchange of right hands then Pete knees Slick in the ribs. That winded Slick and Pete clubs him across the back. Pete certainly with the considerable size advantage here though Slick has beaten him before.
David Saturn-"Slick and Pete not new to each other. Slick has made Pete tap out in the past and there was another match which ended after the ropes snapped..."
Neal Steal-"Maybe there should be a special separate ring reserved specially for Pete's matches so the fat ass does not break the main one..."
David Saturn-"I've lost count of how many titles Slick has won. I think he's lost count himself..."
Neal Steal-"That's from all the booze clouding his brain. As if Mr Megala would call him as he claimed it was Maggia who rehired Slop..."
Pete pulls Slick to his feet and whips him off the ropes. Slick charges back and Pete connects with a hard blow to the chest. Pete taking it to Slick and being clotheslined over the top rope won't help. Slick almost lands on his feet but ultimately drops to the floor. Pete to the outside where he bounces Slick's head off the steel steps.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha...finally Pete does something useful in his life! I don't mind Slop being close to that kind of steel!"
David Saturn-"Pete still setting sights on Jason Skilled..."
Neal Steal-"Why can't Pete leave Jason alone..."
David Saturn-"Why don't you ask him he's close enough..."
Neal Steal-"It would be an affront to my dignity to even converse with him for a second!"
He then rams Slick's face into a vacant chair (that won't count as a DQ no real difference between that and the barricade) and Pete breaks the count. That is to Pete's credit since many champions would be happy with a countout victory though Slick may have made it in time anyway. Pete moves back towards Slick who gets in a kick to the midsection.
David Saturn-"Kick to the midsection...and its hard to miss!"
Neal Steal-"This is the type of wellness policy that has been implemented in AWR. Its Maggia running it when it should be the legendary head of talent relations Rusty Axel. Someone like Pete is clearly out of shape and unfit..."
David Saturn-"Pete has passed all the physical tests..."
Neal Steal-"Not to mention Slop's severe alcohol abuse..."
Hard right hand then Slick whips Pete into the barricade. Slick charges but Pete manages to elevate Slick and drop him face first onto the barricade. Pete clubs Slick across the back then rams him into the table. A few boos for that (due to Slick's overwhelming popularity) but Slick would certainly do the same! Pete rolls Slick back into the ring as he looks to take total control.
Neal Steal-"That's one thing both are good at trash talk. All they ever do is talk complete trash!"
David Saturn-"Well if there was a world title for trash talk there's no doubt you would be the champion!"
Neal Steal"Well I have to talk a little trash just to be able to communicate with you Saturn. You have formed your own language of trash based verbiage!"
David Saturn-"You know I never doubt myself as a wrestling fan since I still manage to enjoy it despite having watched the majority with you!"
Pete with a kick to the ribs then he talks some trash though its unclear what he actually said. Pete rams Slick face first into the corner then whips him to the opposite corner. Slick hits the corner back first and drops to his knees. Cartwheel by Pete showing his decent athleticism for his size and showboating before kicking Slick in the head.
Neal Steal-"Speaking of fat people do you think we will see Skull again after his brief return to wrestling?"
David Saturn-"I don't really know what to expect from Skull. He showed up out of the blue and he may well do so again! very much hope he does..."
Neal Steal-"I'm amazed Skull never broke the ring during any of his matches."
David Saturn-"Kickout by Slick there...are we going to call a move here tonight?"
Neal Steal-"That's your job..."
Cover by Pete...1,2...and Slick gets his shoulder up. Pete isn't known as an aerial specialist but makes his way towards the turnbuckle. He only climbs to the middle rope and leaps but Slick delivers a dropkick! Expertly timed move not easy to execute that at all with Pete up close despite his size. Not the greatest aerial attack ever there by Pete and he probably wonders why he bothered.
Neal Steal-"Idiot! Seeing Pete try to jump is like watching a quadriplegic try to walk. Very sad to watch..."
David Saturn-"Well lets just say he will never compete for the cruiserweight title...not that we have one to complete for..."
Neal Steal-"We still have that hardcore title that was pointlessly brought in. Wonder what the status of that is I believe Tracy Adkins still holds it..."
Slick caught Pete right on the sternum then he drives his elbow into Pete's chest. Slick targeting the sternum as he drops another elbow. Slick lays in a couple of kicks to the body before pulling Pete to his feet. Punches now by Slick and Pete is staggered. Slick uses the middle rope to choke Pete perhaps wanting to hold him in position.
Neal Steal-"Illegal choke! Disqualify Slop Doctor at once!"
David Saturn-"I'm guessing you want Pete to retain just by the fact you hate Slop more..."
Neal Steal-"It would be great to see Slop lose another title shot..."
David Saturn-"I don't think Slick is too bothered about the CRASH title. Still we don't need you costing him a title again..."
Neal Steal-"That's only because the flight companies offer restrictions on luggage weight. A title belt would mean a couple less bottles of booze!"
Slick charges off the ropes connecting with a running knee to the back. Slick cockily taunts Pete then removes the turnbuckle pad winking to the camera as he does. The referee unsurprisingly tries to discourage Slick from doing that. The crowd cheer for Slick's cheating he's never been beyond bending a rule or two....or three...or a million. Slick however took his eyes off Pete who delivers with a clothesline! The referee is fiddling with the turnbuckle for some stupid reason and is slow as Pete makes the cover.
Neal Steal-"Blatant cheating by Slop!"
David Saturn-"You are absolutely right..."
Neal Steal-"Yet you have the audacity to call people like Mr Royal cheats! People who follow the rulebook rigidly and to the letter!"
David Saturn-"Slick has never claim to wrestle entirely fairly. I think he's having some fun with this match..."
Neal Steal-"You would never even Rusty using the word "fun" to describe a wrestling match..."
David Saturn-"Certainly nothing fun about watching him wrestle."
Pete gets a 2 count and understandably is rather annoyed. Its the ring crews job to fix the ring not the officials! Of course the ring crew probably includes some of the officials but anyhow. The match may not have been over there had the ref been quicker. Still refs shouldn't take their eyes off the action like that. Pete goes for the PLAYBOY SHUFFLE but Slick slips away landing on his feet.
Neal Steal"Hopefully Pete does the one jump he can execute well...the big splash!"
David Saturn-"Pete almost catching Slick with the Playboy Shuffle there. Both men may be a little Rusty...and I don't mean Rusty in the sense they have wrestled for 24 years and won absolutely nothing!"
Neal Steal-"Rusty will be out here later on. I'll tell him what you said..."
David Saturn-"Surely you aren't accusing him of not watching already? We all know Rusty puts so much time and commitment into his job...cough cough..."
Slick a little too quick for Pete as he delivers a bulldog before Pete can turn round! Slick goes for the lionsault but Pete rolled out of the way! Slick charges but runs right into a powerbomb! Cover...1,2...and Slick shows his toughness by kicking out! Pete looks pissed showing a little more anger and fire than we have normally seen from him. The referee timed his count fine there though...
Neal Steal-"Slop says he's a sucker for the fans. Its these fans who are the suckers still believing Slop has what it takes! The old Slop would have put Pete away in 30 seconds...not that I intend that as a compliment..."
David Saturn-"I think Pete has always been a little better than you give him credit for. Maybe a little better than I give him credit for..."
Neal Steal-"Hopefully Slop hits that exposed turnbuckle...now that would be poetic justice!"
David Saturn-"I think Pete is walking into a trap..."
Neal Steal-"More like waddling into one...I'm surprised a marina hasn't captured Pete confusing him with a killer whale..."
Right hands by Pete and Slick staggers backwards into the corner with the exposed turnbuckle. Pete charges and Slick moves at the last moment! Pete didn't know the turnbuckle was exposed and hits head first! Won't count as a DQ though some might make a case considering Slick removed the padding in the first place. Slick with a reverse DDT as Pete staggers backwards...1,2...and out of nowhere NAUGHTY NED breaks up the three count!!!!!
WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION: SLICK DOCTOR
David Saturn-"What the hell!"
Neal Steal-"Its that freak Ned! Never thought I would be pleased to see him...or her..."
David Saturn-"Well what has Ned got to do with this match? What business did Ned have out here!"
Neal Steal-"Who knows what goes through that sick perverts mind..."
Pete and Slick both get up looking bemused. Ned blows a kiss from the stage but seems to be eyeing Pete more than Slick.
Neal Steal-"Well Ned finally does something useful. Now go away..."
David Saturn-"Goodness knows what this is all about. Anyway coming up after break Rattlesnake takes on your hero...Anthony Royal!"
Neal Steal-"Yahoo!"
*****************************************************************************
VS
From Dartmouth, Canada...RATTLESNAKE!!!
Neal Steal-"Here comes this vulgar, coarse moron."
David Saturn-"Vulgar and coarse but he's no moron."
Neal Steal-"Well I looked up a picture of Rattlesnake in the dictionary and it had a picture of Rattlesnake next to it.Anyway enough about him here comes Mr Royal! Yahoo!"
David Saturn-"These two have wrestled before. A lot of rematches on CRASH Tv tonight but the big thing is...we are back!"
From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania...Anthony...ROYAL!!!
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal delivering an eloquent address to his many fans earlier this week despite the severe harassment by Roberto Maggia."
David Saturn-"What fans? Apart from you I can't see any in this crowd..."
Neal Steal-"Stop lying Saturn there's one with a sign there..."
David Saturn-"Wow. Hardly anything to boast about..."
Circle, lockup and Royal trying to back Rattlesnake into the ropes. Break and both men circle again maintaining eye contact with Rattlesnake cursing as usual. Good thing the refs seem lenient about in ring language! Both men in great physical condition as the crowd taunt Royal who manages to ignore it. For the time being anyway and another lockup.
Neal Steal-"Shut up and show some respect!"
David Saturn-"Crowd chanting that Royal sucks...can't say I'm inclined to disagree..."
Neal Steal-"Shut up Saturn..."
David Saturn-"I'll state whatever opinion I feel like just as you unfortunately exercise your free speech..."
Side headlock by Snake (about as technical as he gets) and Royal shoots him off the ropes. Snake catches Royal with his forearm then charges again. Royal drops down, Snake rebounds again and Royal goes for the armdrag takedown. Snake goes to reverse, (though Royal would destroy Snake in a purely technical matchup) ducks a clothesline then hits Royal with a dropkick!
Neal Steal-"What the hell?"
David Saturn-"Don't think I've seen Rattlesnake throw a dropkick before."
Neal Steal-"Well obviously he's trying to impress Mr Royal with a new move."
David Saturn-"Rattlesnake couldn't care less what people think."
Nice move surprising the crowd and Royal rolls to the outside where he lets the taunts start getting to him. Royal needs to keep his mind on business (Steal tries to calm him down professionally leaving his commentary position though he has served as Royal's ringside manager on occasion)and he gets back into the ring. Lockup and side headlock applied by Snake again.
David Saturn-"I don't know whether to be pleased or annoyed that you just left your position..."
Neal Steal-"I'm entitled to speak to Mr Royal..."
David Saturn-"Well just stay behind this desk and do it."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal takes the arm...beautiful technical counter..."
David Saturn-"Think that's one of the first things they work on in wrestling training grabbing a lock on the arm."
Royal gets out by taking Rattlesnake's arm and yanking on it countering into a hammerlock. Rattlesnake reverses it then quickly goes into another side headlock. Not the most captivating offence perhaps Snake is trying to make a point here by suggesting he is better technically than anyone thinks. Royal breaks it by shooting Snake off the ropes again.
Neal Steal-"Why is Mr Royal having his time wasted with the likes of Rattlesnake? The only thing he should have tonight is a title presentation in the ring and an apology from Maggia."
David Saturn-"Don't think we have seen the last of Royal tonight..."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal stated the truth this past week. Maggia blackmailed his way to power you can't deny it Saturn..."
David Saturn-"I don't deny it but you can't say Silvio didn't have it coming..."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal has suffered due to Maggia but what Mr Megala has had to put up with is beyond compare...its lies!"
David Saturn-"Well Maggia has promised to prove it next week and he has never lied to the fans. Wauit what are you doing...COME BACK HERE!"
Steal suddenly grabs Snake's leg having risen from his seat again. Snake is distracted by it obviously and Royal connects with a clubbing blow to the back. Royal rams Snake's head into the corner. Kicks here by Royal and a hard right hand. Royal certainly very quick with his fists but certainly a lot of cruiserweight sixed boxers can throw right hands like heavyweight.
David Saturn-"You had no business doing that! You can't manage and announce at the same time!"
Neal Steal-"I can multitask perfectly well! Rattlesnake swore at me..."
David Saturn-"I'm sure he will be swearing at you next chance he gets. Stay right here..."
Neal Steal-"Hit me then. What Maggia said last year still stands. You hit me and you're fired..."
David Saturn-"Wouldn't mind if you hit me...the same applies to you!"
In virtually every sense except size Royal is a heavyweight in every sense. Snake whipped into the corner and Royal follows up with a clothesline. Snake falls to the mat and Royal taunts the crowd. Right hand by Royal, whip off the ropes and Royal going downstairs but not all the way downstairs! Running kneelift and Royal pulls Snake to his feet and whips him off the ropes again.
Neal Steal-"Most of the wrestlers had to be rehired but Mr Royal has a multi year unbreakable contract! Signed by Mr Megala..."
David Saturn-"Her certainly has the longest from what I believe. Of course he also has the most expensive lawyers."
Neal Steal-"Mr Megala and Mr Royal trust each other so much that a simple handshake would have been enough...but that's not how big businessmen do business."
David Saturn-"Yes a relationship so solid that Royal was quick to believe it was Megala pulling the strings before Maggia's role became apparent..."
Snake gets in a kick as he rebounds then follows that up with a dropkick. Two more consecutive dropkicks therefore Rattlesnake is showing he isn't bad at dropkicks. Maybe he has been working on the new offence while the company was shutdown. Rattlesnake then goes back to his more traditional attack with a stomp followed by a fistdrop to the throat.
Neal Steal-"You won't pin Mr Royal with that! That is insulting to Mr Royal..."
David Saturn-"I don't think Rattlesnake expected to pin Royal with that..."
Neal Steal-"That referee was a bit fast Mr Royal kicked out at 1 by my timing..."
David Saturn-"I guess you think even a one count on Royal would be a major achievement..."
Royal kicks out at 2 and Snake pulls him up. Royal whipped off the ropes, rebounds and Snake catches him with an elbow followed by a DDT! Snake scored that one and he gets another 2 count. Cover was too lazy though Snake needed to press down all his weight and hook the leg there. Of course that probably wouldn't have been enough for a 3 count on Royal regardless.
David Saturn-"Royal on the ropes here..."
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal can see every move Rattlesnake does...he is anticipating the stunner any moment...well an attempt at it..."
David Saturn-"You may be right...Snake almost got it!"
Neal Steal-"...and now its LIGHTS OUT fo you Snake! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Right hand by Snake and he goes for the STUNNER. Royal blocks it, tugs the arm then lifts Snake into the air...LIGHTS OUT! Hit that out of nowhere! 1,2...3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: ANTHONY ROYAL
Neal Steal-"Yahoo!"
David Saturn-"The winner is Royal...but the victory may not be emphatic enough for him..."
Royal stomps on Snake then places his head and throat over the edge of the apron. Royal takes a chair and drives it down right into Snake's throat! Snake falls to the floor clutching his throat as Royal grins taking pleasure in his action there.
David Saturn-"Totally uncalled for!"
Neal Steal-"Well that will make Snake's voice even raspier than usual! Ha ha ha ha ha...what a shame if we are to be deprived of his "dulcet tones" for a while...ha ha ha!"
David Saturn-"Oh shut up! Rattlesnake needs some assistance here and we will be right back in just a moment with the AWR debut of former NIWF superstar Jay Swift!"
Neal Steal-"Mr Royal impressive as always!"
*****************************************************************************
Neal Steal-"A special treat for us all as the legendary Rusty Axel will join us on commentary."
David Saturn-"I assumed it might be for Jason's match with RCH since Rusty is still serving as his manager..."
Neal Steal-"Well since Rusty is here I have an announcement..."
David Saturn-"If you're leaving announce position again could it be permanent..."
Steal stands up which is enough for an emphatic chorus of boos. Steal beckons Rusty into the ring carrying a package under his arm.
Neal Steal-"Not shut up and be quiet and be graced by the presence of this legend of professional rasslin!"
More boos from the crowd some directed at Rusty but Steal is overwhelmingly unpopular.
Neal Steal-"Now Rusty I know you're a humble man who stays in the background without making a fuss. However given your reputation as a legend I want to tell everybody that today is Rusty's 54th birthday! 35 years of those 54 years spent providing quality entertainment for rasslin fans worldwide!"
Rusty wipes a tear from his eye as Steal wipes the mic before handing it over...
Rusty Axel-"Well I'm very humbled by your respect Neal. Its nice to know that some people still respect those of high standing in the business. I'm not embarrassed by my age being announced its a testament to my longevity in this business. I would like to promise each and every one of ya now..."
Rusty wipes away another tear. Saturn shakes his head at ringside...
Rusty Axel-"I love this business and I still intend to entertain each and everyone of you on screen for years to come! Lemme tell ya somethin' else as well...I've never met a finer, more respectable man in this business than Neal Steal. So lets have a big cheer for Neal!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Steal wipes away a tear as well and claps Rusty before taking back the mic...
Neal Steal-"Now lets all have a rousing rendition of the traditional birthday song...happy birthday to you!" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU..."
The crowd chant BOO to rhyme with YOU as Steal sings...
Neal Steal-"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR RUSTY...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!"
The crowd begin a BORING chant as Steal hands Rusty his presumed birthday gift...
Neal Steal-"Now lets see Rusty open his present!"
Rusty rips off the packaging and inside is a cake shaped like a wrestling ring...
Neal Steal-"How appropriate!"
Rusty Axel-"I gotta tell ya Neal...I appreciate this...it might be the happiest birthday Old Rusty has ever had!"
Steal and Rusty take their seats next to Saturn as the crowd boo. That will soon change to cheers...well not for Robert Carr...
VS
From Ontario, Canada...Robert...CARR!!!
Rusty Axel-"Here comes Robert! Finally getting a fair shake from some member of senior management..."
David Saturn-"Meaning yourself...so are you out here to commentate on Carr's match before Jason comes out. Or do you manage both..."
Rusty Axel-"I would be happy to manage Robert as well. Right now however I need to take a few notes...have you got a pen and paper Neal? Thank you..."
Neal Steal-""Is that free autographs for the fans behind us...how generous..."
Rusty Axel-"Nope...just for my assignment as head of talent relations..."
From Phoenix, Arizona...Jay SWIFT!!!
David Saturn-"A great reception for Jay Swift a man who accomplished much in NIWF, UHWF and most recently in THW!"
Rusty Axel-"I came out here to take a look at this boi..."
David Saturn-"You're out here to take a look at Jay Swift? Why?"
Neal Steal-"Well why not? He's the head of talent relations..."
Lockup to start the match and Carr quickly cinches in a side headlock. Swift tries to break his grip, but Carr pulls him right back in. Swift tries to break it again, and this time he is able to, and is also able to apply a side headlock of his own. Carr tries to send Swift off the ropes, but Swift grabs a handful of Carr's hair to stop himself from being sent across the ring and pulls Carr back into a headlock.
Rusty Axel-"Maggia hired this kid I just want to see what this expensive contract is all about..."
David Saturn-"Well surely even you are aware of Jay Swift's reputation?"
Rusty Axel-"I've heard a thing or two but I wanted to see him in the flesh. I'm only doing my job..."
Neal Steal-"Exactly Saturn he's simply out here to make sure Maggia hasn't hired somebody who isn't up to it!"
David Saturn-"You know full Swift is up to it Steal. You were in NIWF and even in THW for a short time..."
Neal Steal-"He succeeded there because of that biased owner THW had...they were very close..."
David Saturn"Swift succeeded on his own merits...is that MARKS OUT OF 10 you're writing? Why the hell have you got a mark for his hairstyle?"
Rusty Axel-"I'm marking his rasslin performance yes. I heard he was rude about Carr's abilities maybe he needs to be humbled."
David Saturn-"Swift has less to prove than Carr does..."
Carr again tries to send Swift off the ropes, but Swift again using Carr’s hair to his advantage. Swift tugs Carr into the corner by his hair where he rams his face into the turnbuckle ten times as the crowd chants along. Carr then staggers out into a massive right hand. Swift goes for an Irish whip, but Carr reverses. However, Carr lowers his head early and Swift catches him with a kick to the sternum.
Rusty Axel-"He's not too bad. I think the kid might have rassled before as you suggested..."
David Saturn-"Its all on tape...why don't you RESEARCH the talent! You're only doing this because its a Maggia hire...surely even you can't be this oblivious. I think you know who Swift is..."
Neal Steal-"Would you like a piece of rasslin ring cake Rusty?"
Rusty Axel-"Well I wouldn't normally eat or drink on the job but it is my birthday..."
Neal Steal-"Exactly. Be nice for once Saturn at least for the mans birthday..."
David Saturn (muttering sarcastically)- "Rasslin ring cake..."
Swift then charges Carr, but Carr delivers a drop toe hold that spills Swift to the outside of the ring. Carr quickly goes out after Swift and stomps the life out of him. Carr then brings Swift to his feet and slams him back first into the apron before sending him back into the ring. Carr backs Swift into the corner and assaults him with punches and kicks until the ref makes him break.
Neal Steal-"Everybody deserves a birthday present you're just upset because you haven't been given any cake Saturn..."
David Saturn-"Of course everyone deserves a present but what I'm upset about is this ignorant treatment of Jay Swift. He's a world class wrestler..."
Rusty Axel-"I haven't said he's not Saturn. All I'm doing is my job scouting some guy who Maggia hired..."
David Saturn-"He is not some guy...he's Jay Swift for crying out loud!"
Carr pulls Swift out of the corner and delivers a suplex. Cover, 1…2…kick out. Carr stays on the attack with more stomps. Swift is backed into the corner and Carr delivers shoulders to the gut. Swift stumbles out of the corner and Carr drops him with a big left hand. Cover, 1…2…kick out...that wouldn't put Jay Swift away. Carr drives his knee into Swift’s back and pulls his arms.
David Saturn-"I'm pretty sure Swift won't be happy about this..."
Neal Steal-"Well its a lot of pressure being monitored by Rusty but Swift has to accept thats how it works under Rusty's talent evaluation process..."
David Saturn-"Why would he feel pressured by a man who's never won a title in over 30 years!!!"
Rusty Axel-"Now watch your mouth Saturn...that's irrelevant I've always been a company man..."
Neal Steal-"For goodness sake its the mans birthday Saturn..."
Swift fights to his feet but Carr knees him in the gut and delivers a scoop slam. Carr heads to the second rope and mocks Swift before leaping off, but Swift gets a boot up, which connects with Carr’s chin.Swift delivers big forearms now which stagger Carr. Off the ropes swiftly (pun intended) and a clothesline takes Carr down. Carr back up and right back down courtesy of another clothesline.
Rusty Axel-"He's a bit on the small side this Swift guy ain't he..."
David Saturn-"THIS SWIFT GUY! Just listen for once Rusty this man is a tremendous coup by Maggia..."
Neal Steal-"Maggia knows nothing about the sport of professional rasslin and nobody knows more than Rusty..."
David Saturn-"If he knows that much he will know how good Jay Swift is...this is embarrassing to watch you writing these notes out here. Swift is too focused to notice otherwise I'm sure he would be pissed off and rightly so..."
Swift whips Carr across the ropes and catches him with a big back body drop! Carr stumbles to his feet and walks right into a belly to belly suplex! Cover 1…2…NO! Carr just gets a shoulder up. Swift looks for a german suplex, but Carr flips out of it and lands on his feet. CARR CRASH!!! Cover. 1…2…3 NO! Swift somehow kicks out. Carr can’t believe it typically moaning to the official.
Rusty Axel-"Now that official just slow counted! There's no way this jabroni would have kicked out of that!"
David Saturn-"He kicked out clear as day! Tremendous resilience by Jay Swift..."
Neal Steal-"Bet nobody invited you to Birthday parties Saturn treating people like this on their birthday..."
David Saturn-"Oh shut up Steal!"
He rams Swift face first into the turnbuckle before dragging him to the center of the ring. Big left hand by Carr and then he sets Swift on the top turnbuckle, with Swift’s back facing him. Carr gets up as well and it looks like he’s setting up for a top rope backdrop. This could break Swift’s back. Swift realizes the dire straits he is in and desperately throws wild elbows at Carr, trying to escape.
Rusty Axel-"He's losing his composure..."
David Saturn-"Its called defending yourself..."
Neal Steal-Come on Robert don't let Rusty down on his birthday!"
Rusty Axel-"Old Rusty won't be let down...of course I'm not pulling either way...may the best man win."
Neal Steal-"Absolutely! Erm...go Swift!"
Finally, he does and Carr spills to the mat. Swift then comes off the top with an elbow. He pops up and signals for the PHOENIX FACEBREAKER. Carr stumbles up and Swift looks for it, but Carr pushes him off, sending him sternum first into the corner. Carr charges in, but Swift catches him with a back elbow.
David Saturn-"You moan about steroids now you moan about Swift being too small. What exactly do you want?"
Rusty Axel-"I want rasslers not some Johnny come lately who Maggia hired. The fact that Maggia hired him probably means he has little respect for my profession..."
David Saturn-"Swift has total respect for those who deserve it in wrestling. Goodness knows what he will think of this debacle...this is so insulting and patronising. Its embarrassing to see Swift treated like this..."
Neal Steal-"He's got to pay his dues..."
David Saturn-"Rusty might not know who he is...which is scary considering his position as head of talent relations...but you do!"
Swift goes after Carr, but Carr catches him with a boot to the midsection. Carr now looks for a suplex. He has Swift up, but not all the way and Swift fights his way back down and from out of nowhere hits the PHOENIX FACEBREAKER! Cover, 1…2…3!
WINNER BY PINFALL: JAY SWIFT
David Saturn-"Ha ha! How do you like that?"
Rusty Axel-"Well I...well that wasn't too shabby. Old Rusty was a little impressed..."
Neal Steal-"Credit to Carr wrestling while ill. Saw hi puking backstage earlier its a credit he came out here..."
David Saturn-"Stop lying! Nothing wrong with Carr! Swift was the better man here and the winner on his AWR debut! We will be back right after commercial!"
*****************************************************************************
VS
From Gaithersburg, Maryland...Jason...SKILLED!!!
Neal Steal-"Another Rusty guy out here now but Jason ain't ill like Carr was...I hear RCH is ill though..."
David Saturn-"I ahven't heard anything about RCH being ill..."
Neal Steal-"Well he is ill...mentally ill..."
David Saturn-"He's unorthodox...and a bit strange. That's not mental illness Steal."
Neal Steal-"Well here he comes...the blunt hatchet warrior..."
From the Dark Forest...RCH...333333333!!!
Neal Steal-"RCH stupidly waving that hatchet not watching his opponent. The guys a moron...taking his eyes off the talented Jason Skilled..."
David Saturn-"As you can see Rusty is still out here...the manager of Jason Skilled..."
Neal Steal-"I might contact arena management about dangerous weaponry. That hatchet shouldn't be allowed..."
[David Saturn-"Well you have done such jackass acts in the past..."
Jason wasting little time as he slides into the ring and goes at RCH from behind. Maybe the wisest move as RCH is liable to knock someone's head off their shoulders with that hatchet. That may also have been Rusty giving bad advice as always. RCH gets the better of the initial exchange (other than dropping the hatchet after Jason's charge from behind) and goes for a whip.
Neal Steal-"Look at the contrast. Jason has an encyclopedia of knowledge about the wrestling profession at ringside and RCH has a damn hatchet..."
David Saturn-"The hatchet is probably far more useful. Its unlikely to cost RCH the match through sheer incompetence...and why is it wrestling again now? Its only rasslin when Rusty is here is it?"
Neal Steal-"We still have Maggia out here after this...egomaniac coming out here for the end of the show..."
David Saturn-"Its about the titles and what will happen with them..."
Jason reverses, RCH rebounds catching Jason with a right hand. Jason tries to hit back but is unlikely to beat the unconventional RCH in a fist fight despite being even sized. RCH with multiple shots and then he plants Jason face first into the mat! Looked like a DDT but maybe RCH didn't get the full execution on it as Jason quickly up to his knees. RCH with a cradle...1,2...and Jason kicks out.
Neal Steal-"Back in Rusty's day there were one or two freaks but nobody this bad. RCH is certifiable...a lunatic!"
David Saturn-"As far as I know he hasn't decapitated anyone with that hatchet. His in ring performance is entirely within the rules...usually..."
Neal Steal-"Look at Rusty. Its the mans birthday and here he is putting the business first! That's the old school mentality..."
David Saturn-"You haven't come out with your usual crap about him wrestling the likes of Lou Thesz yet..."
Neal Steal-"There's a lot of old wrestlers watching this. Proudly watching Rusty building the bridge between the past and the present!"
RCH with a hard right hand (RCH certainly can throw a stiff jab if its not essentially his signature offence) and backs Jason into the ropes. Jason reverses a whip, RCH rebounds and Jason gets in an elbow. Jason isn't the worst blow for blow fighter but still a step behind RCH fist for first. Plus the hatchet probably has more use as an inanimate object than Rusty does as an actual human!
David Saturn-"Jason has such potential. He's a arrogant young man but that isn't the worst crime. He should ditch Rusty, humble himself a bit and just work on it..."
Neal Steal-"It would be insane to ditch Rusty when he's providing his services for free. Jason is soaking up every bit of knowledge. He will be a future world champion here in AWR if Mr Royal ever retires..."
David Saturn-"Could you put that cake away? You know what happens on a wrestling show when there's a cake around..."
Neal Steal-"Its staying right here. I'm saving some for Mr Royal when Maggia is forced to hand him the World heavyweight title..."
In terms of being a pure athlete Jason may well be better as he knees RCH in the face. RCH is down and Jason charges off the ropes getting maximum velocity behind a strong kick to the face. Jason is a little slow to follow up (thanks to Rusty stupidly beckoning Jason over for instructions) and RCH charges. Both men go toppling through the ropes to the outside.
David Saturn-"Well done Rusty...distracting your charge when he had momentum..."
Neal Steal-"Jason wasn't going to get ahead of himself. He knows he's better than RCH but he's not going to disrespect an inferior talent..."
David Saturn-"Jason isn't at RCH's level yet. Stop treating people like RCH and Swift like nobodies the audience isn't stupid..."
Neal Steal-"I think most are retarded which is worse than stupid.."
The ref warns Rusty as he gets too close. RCH rams Jason face first into the steel steps! Kick to the ribs and RCH roughly takes Jason back into the ring. RCH to the top rope as Jason is staggered and comes off with a flying clothesline! RCH usually prefers a leg drop from the top rope but that was also a tremendous athletic move.
Neal Steal-"Wonder what RCH has been doing with the forest folk these past few months. How the hell did the company contact him. What do they do send mail to RCH3, cabin shack, dark forest?"
David Saturn-"I'm pretty sure it was Maggia who brought him back."
Neal Steal-"Naturally...a guy like RCH with such little respect for the sport. Rusty has been in the ring with people like Thesz, Race, Ladd...he must feel a little empty inside seeing people like RCH mocking his profession..."
David Saturn-"At least RCH knows who Jay Swift is..."
Jason in trouble here and RCH makes the cover...1,2...and a kickout. Rusty then blatantly distracts RCH as the ref checks on Jason and drives his neck down across the top rope)That was actually useful despite Rusty doing it and it allows Jason to take advantage as he lifts RCH above his head and slams him to the canvas!
David Saturn-"Rusty so fair and impartial as usual..."
Neal Steal-"He certainly is glad you have noted it..."
David Saturn-"Sarcasm is lost on you..."
Neal Steal-"I was hoping you would tone down the sarcasm. You're one of the most sarcastic people I've ever met Saturn its a bad character trait..."
David Saturn-"Last people I'm taking character lessons from is you!"
Cover...1,2...and RCH kicks out. Jason pounding on RCH now then he kicks RCH in the face. RCH starts to rise to his feet as Jason connects with a right. Another right and RCH backed into the corner. Jason with consecutive knees to the ribs then whips RCH to the opposite corner. RCH staggers out and Jason lands a vicious kick to the face...1,2...shoulder up!
Neal Steal-"Look at RCH. He kicked out there through stupidity...still he's not bothered about his looks. Why does RCH need that paint did someone throw acid in his face or something?"
David Saturn-"There's no rule against facepaint. Its what he's comfortable using. He's comfortable in his own skin..."
Neal Steal-"Yet he covers himself in that paint the freak..."
David Saturn-"Just shut up! He can wear however much pain he wants! I wouldn't care if he came out looking like the jolly green giant its what he does in the ring..."
Neal Steal-"Well you have always been lax on presentation. Look at that shirt its loose and you're not even wearing a tie..."
Jason frustrated by that immediately making another cover...same result. Jason pulls RCH to his feet, right hand and again backs RCH into the corner. RCH reverses a whip to the opposite corner but with great agility Jason springs to the top rope. Jason misses with a moonsault (not quite a full swanton as RCH was standing) and turns round to receive a flying elbow smash to the face!
David Saturn-"Something else to moan about...RCH having the audacity to go for a cover..."
Neal Steal-"Lets just get Jason's victory over with and get to the World title business!"
David Saturn-"RCH looks more like a winner at the moment..."
Neal Steal-"RCH could be wearing any number of medals or belts and he would still look like an absolute loser!"
What a blow and RCH then drops an elbow...1,2...kickout. Both men quick to their feet and RCH goes for the whip. Jason reverses, RCH charges back, ducks a clothesline and on the second rebound RCH lands a hard shoulder tackle. Jason back up, another whip and RCH connects with a double axe handle blow to the chest. Jason reverses a whip into the corner then goes for a crossbody.
Neal Steal-"Come on Jason! He's got...oh no!"
David Saturn-"Jason caught in the hatchet warrior's web!"
Neal Steal-"Rusty will tell him how to slip out of this!"
David Saturn-"Jason knows RCH can beat him...he has before..."
Since RCH was in the corner that was probably more intended to knock the air out of RCH than cover him. RCH however catches Jason! A brief pause as the crowd anticipate RCH's next move...backdrop! There was no escape for Jason there...RCH with the cover...1,2...and Jason manages to kick out! Rusty is on the apron again distracting RCH as he argues with the ref.
David Saturn-"Oh get down for crying out loud!"
Neal Steal-"ITS THE MANS BIRTHDAY!"
David Saturn-"WHO CARES!"
Neal Steal-"This referee needs to have a little respect..."
However he takes his eyes off Jason who comes from behind with a rollup! 1,2...and almost caught RCH there! Jason pulls RCH up and Rusty is on the apron again yelling instructions. RCH suddenly shoves Jason into Rusty knocking the "legend" to the floor! RCH goes for a DDT but Jason blocks and whips RCH into the corner. However RCH moves at the last moment and Jason hits the turnbuckle.
David Saturn-"Its not looking good for Jason!"
Neal Steal-"Rusty will tell him what to do...oh no!"
David Saturn-"RCH looks like he has this one all wrapped up!"
Neal Steal-"You're insulting Rusty with that comment aren't you? Insulting the legend on his birthday..."
This sets up the ideal opportunity for RCH to hit the HATCHET SPLASH! Jason staggers backwards and RCH delivers the HATCHET DEATH DROP! 1,2...3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: RCH3
David Saturn-"Well this is a birthday Rusty will never forget!"
Neal Steal-"Trust this freak to try and ruin things! Still Rusty will be watching as proudly as me when Mr Royal is granted his rightful status as the AWR World Champion!"
David Saturn-"We will see what goes down in just a few moments!"
*****************************************************************************
As we return from the final commercial Roberto Maggia is in the ring with a mic in hand. In the center of the ring is a pedestal with the AWR Championship sitting on it. After a few moments, Maggia begins to speak.
Maggia: Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’ve enjoyed the AWR’s return show!
The crowd cheers.
Neal Steal-"SHUT UP!"
Maggia: Now, earlier tonight I said I would be making decisions regarding the Tag Team and the World Championships. Due to the fact that his partner will not be returning to the AWR, at least not at this time, I gave Slick Doctor the opportunity to decide what he wants to do with the Tag Team Titles, so, without further ado, Slick, please join me in the ring and give me your decision.
Neal Steal-"Oh great he's bringing Slop out here. There's no booze yet Slop the champagne is on ice for Mr Royal and too rich for your standards!"
David Saturn-"The future of the tag titles about to be determined here..."
After a few moments, Slick’s music plays and he appears on the stage a Tag Title belt on each shoulder. He enters the ring and takes a mic.
Slick: I’m gonna keep this short and sweet. I won these titles with BMan, and I’ll only defend them with BMan. As much as it sucks, if he can’t be here, then I can’t hold onto these.
Slick takes one last look at the belts, then hands them over to Maggia and exits the ring..
Neal Steal-"At least he's going. This is a sombre occasion to be conducted with dignity and respect...that's what is befitting of a man like Mr Royal!"
David Saturn-"Shut up and lets see what happens...I high doubt Royal will get what he wants!"
Maggia: Thank you, Slick. Now, that just leaves the World Championship. I know that Kris Destiny is the rightful champion, and I know that he is a fan favorite, but the fact is, we have tried to get ahold of him to no avail, and the AWR simply cannot succeed without a World Champion, so a new one must be crowned.
The crowd boos this, as they like Sho representing them as Champion.
Neal Steal-"Cheering for a guy who attempted to murder one of the finest men this business...or for that matter the world has ever seen..."
David Saturn-"Sho has really screwed up here..."
Maggia: Don’t worry though, I have something in mind that you will love. So, without further ado, the fate of the World Championship…
Maggia is interrupted by the sound of “Say Hello” by POD blaring over the PA system. Royal appears on the stage with a mic in hand and a huge smile on his face. He begins speaking as he walks down the ramp.
Royal: Bob, Bob, Bob, save the dramatics and the drum roll. Just tell everybody that you are doing the right thing. Tell everybody that the man who is the new World Heavyweight Champion is the man who it should have been all along.
Royal hops onto the apron and into the ring.
Royal: Announce the new World Heavyweight Champion….Anthony Royal!
Neal Steal-"Do as Mr Royal says Maggia!"
David Saturn-"It would be a highly unpopular decision...and it looks like Maggia will not bow down to Royal!"
The crowd boos heavily as Royal smiles and raises his arms in the air. However, Maggia shakes his head no, wiping the smile right off Royal’s face.
Royal: If you’re not going to give it to me…I’m going to take it.
Neal Steal-"Yahoo! Mr Royal is taking what is rightfully his!"
David Saturn-"He has no right to just claim the belt!"
Royal reaches out to the podium the belt is sitting on and goes to snatch it, but before he can, Maggia grabs it. Royal’s eyes fill with anger as he screams at Maggia to do the right thing. He is in Maggia’s face now, demanding the Championship, but Maggia stands his ground and shakes his head no. Things are starting to look as if they are going to get bad when suddenly the crowd erupts with cheers. Royal doesn’t know it, but Kris Destiny has come through the crowd. He gets in the ring, grabs Royal by the shoulder, spins him around and starts laying into him with big right hands.
Neal Steal-"The maniac is here! Why the hell has he shown up so late!"
David Saturn-"Well its like you say Sho is a maniac...and how can we predict his actions!"
He backs Royal into the ropes and whips him across, perhaps looking for SHOTIME, but Royal hooks the ropes and bails to the outside of the ring. Suddenly, Destiny turns his attention to Maggia. He backs him into the corner and rips the belt away from him. He then backs away and Maggia quickly leaves the ring. Destiny then ascends the turnbuckle and holds the belt in the air as his music plays and Royal throws an absolute fit.
Neal Steal-"This is not right! I bet this was a conspiracy between Sho and Maggia all along!"
David Saturn-"Royal had no business being out here in the first place...and judging by that look Sho still does not trust Maggia one bit!"
Neal Steal-"Well Maggia will be put in his place once and for all when Mr Megala is here next week!"
David Saturn-"We will see you again in seven days LIVE on CRASH Tv!"