Post by Rusty Axel on Sept 3, 2013 17:00:33 GMT -4
Its a clear late Summer day in the country as we see a sweeping shot of lush, green fields. Sheep flocking, cows herding and tractors...tractoring. Along a small dirt road a jeep parks next to some wooden gates. A couple of cameramen get out followed by AWR commentator, sometimes manager and ALWAYS ass kisser...Neal Steal! Its almost a surprise that we don't hear boos as he emerges from the vehicle...
Neal Steal-"We are almost late for this interview because of your useless driving! A man like Rusty Axel prides himself on his punctuality! 34 years in the business and never late to a show once! Hurry up and turn the main camera on! Have you got the handheld setup already? Right...well I'm only using that jeep because the limo isn't designed for these dirt roads! Anyway...urgggh!"
Steal turns up his nose as if he's just smelled something bad. Considering he's in the middle of a country next to a ranch that is quite the possibility...
Neal Steal-"Open that gate for me!"
Cameraman-"Why?"
Neal Steal-"Because I'm the boss here! Rusty...and Mr Megala have placed me in charge of this interview! You do as you're...ha ha ha ha ha!"
One of the cameramen raises his boot to show he's accidentally stepped in some...well...waste material!"
Neal Steal-"You aren't going back in the jeep with that filth on it! You're going to have to walk it 3 miles back to the hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
The cameraman glares at Steal's mean spirited laughter.
Neal Steal-"I told you to open the gate this instant!"
The cameramen opens the gate swinging it hard which gets another look of disdain from Steal.
Neal Steal-"Not so hard now was it? Anyway here we...AH! AWAY! AWAY BEAST!"
The camera zooms down to show the "beast" is nothing more than a small cat. Steal gives the cat a light kick (MEOW!) and it runs off! The cameramen glare at Steal for kicking the small, defenceless animal.
Neal Steal-"Now that cat will know to watch where its going!"
Steal laughs again no doubt feeling like a big man kicking something even more weak than he is.
Neal Steal-"That's what Mr Royal is going to do to Slop this week! Brush him aside like a piece of trash! What an absolute disgrace Maggia is I hear Mr Megala might be on CRASH as well this week...RUSTY! RUSTY!"
Rusty walks out of a barn wearing a ridculous cowboy hat. He is at least wearing jeans unlike Steal who looks completely out of place wearing a grey, bland suit.
Rusty Axel-"Hello Neal! Come and join Old Rusty over here!"
Rusty walks over to a wooden bench and sits down. Steal takes a seat next to him.
Neal Steal-"How are you feeling today Rusty? I have to say how impressed I am by that ass whupping you gave Gemini at the PPV! Its no wonder he's the number 1 contender its a reward that he even managed to last a few minutes with you. Of course Mr Royal should be the no 1 contender..."
Rusty Axel-"Well you know young Roberto...he's the one who's given Gemini the shot. Gemini's lucky I allowed him to walk out last week. That's more than Gemini has done for some people in his life..."
Neal Steal-"What do you mean?"
Rusty shuffles towards Steal and speaks almost in a whispering tone.
Rusty Axel-"Well you're in the locker room before shows sometimes right? You hear the whispers..."
Neal Steal-"Ah yes I certainly do! I've heard the whispers about Fa Sho as well..."
Rusty Axel-"Well its about time they were confronted with it!"
Neal Steal-"Its already an open secret Rusty they have no shame..."
Rusty Axel-"Exactly they have no shame at all. You guys have heard what Sho and Gemini have done in their pasts right?"
The cameramen nod...
Rusty Axel-"For those not in the know Fa Sho and Gemini are nothing more than a couple of cold blooded...MURDERERS!"
Rusty emphasises the final word for dramatic effect. Steal shakes his head in disgust...
Rusty Axel-"Ya heard Old Rusty right...MURDERERS! Now I've met some miserable human beings in the rasslin business but I've never faced two murderers in successive weeks! Now some say they ain't murdered anyone...at least not in cold blood. Well that's nothing more than a lame excuse! Murder is murder!"
Neal Steal-"They should be sent to the electric chair! The death penalty is legal in Missouri and Florida you know? Well of course you will know...you're Rusty Axel!"
Rusty Axel-"I know! Lets remind you of the specifics (MOOOO!) since its been an open secret for some time. Gemini killed his girlfriend (MOOOOOO!) and her secret lover. A crime or passion perhaps...the actions of a jilted, jealous ex boyfriend! You know what people have said about that incident? It was the classic signs of somebody afflicted by...ROID RAGE! That's right...steroids! That's...(MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)"
Rusty pauses annoyed at the rather loud interruptions in the background...
Rusty Axel-"Oh shut up you stupid cow! Its worse than the damn pyromaniacs!"
The camera zooms in on a small pen as the cow softly moos again. Beyond the fence we see several cows and horses which have actually been grouped in the same pen. They barely have room beyond the fences to move...a blatant case of neglect here.
Rusty Axel-"Now lemme tell ya something Neal...ya know Gemini's style right? He's a power rassler that's the style he rassles in the ring. Yet he's only 220 pounds. Now that ain't natural only the gullible would say that! He's beefed up by steroids it couldn't be anymore obvious!"
Neal Steal-"I wouldn't be surprised if Fa Sho is on them as well...Maggia's a disgrace we have two steroid taking murderers main eventing a PPV! What sort of image will this be for the AWR?"
Rusty Axel-"Nah I don't think Sho's on steroids. He actually murdered his own Ma! I don't think that was roid rage moreso the fact that he's an absolute lunatic! I mean Jesus Christ what sort of person tops their own Mother!"
Steal loudly laughs. Of course his relationship with his own Mother isn't much better than Fa Sho's was...
Rusty Axel-"Sho's lucky its gonna be non title this week because he might get an even worse ass whupping than Gemini and Swift did. Now I never used backchat towards my Mother...she was awful mean! If I answered back to her she used to be the one who dragged my butt to the woodshed! My Dad was afraid of her! Even I was! Hey look Neal come over here..."
Rusty leads Steal through a gate and walks up to a horse doing what horses do while standing in a field...
Rusty Axel-"Hey look Fa Sho's sneaked up here he's been listening in on us!"
Rusty points to the horse's ass. Steal laughs loudly again...
Rusty Axel-"Hey Fa Sho now this is private property! You can't just walk in here uninvited on a mans personal land! You're trespassing here boi! Now take your miserable, murdering butt and hit the road because I pump a couple of barrels in ya!"
Steal laughs loudly again.
"NEIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
Steal shrieks as the horse startled by his laughter suddenly rears back. Steal runs through a little gate as Rusty grabs the reigns and scolds the horse.
Rusty Axel-"Now that's a guest you're braying at 'ere! Calm down you silly mare!"
The horse ignores Rusty and neighs again. Rusty shuts the gate and takes a seat back at the bench. Steal gulps down some water breathing heavily from his "traumatic" experience. The camera crew look sad that the horse didn't kick Steal.
Rusty Axel-"Now if that horse had kicked ya Neal you wouldn't be standing. I probably wouldn't be standing had it kicked me! That's a horse...at least it ain't gonna know the difference between right and wrong! Ah look been waiting for some business to go down here! A regular pickup!"
A large truck pulls up. It has a small window with small iron bars at the back. A couple of men get out and open the doors. Steal turns his nose up again and in this case the smell seems to be coming from the truck. Rusty grins...
Rusty Axel-"I don't think you're cut out for country life Neal! I couldn't see you up and about in the fields at 4am! You're a city boi aren't you? Now this air out here might not smell like it but its cleaner than those big cities!"
Steal wipes his forehead clearly sweltering in the heat...
Rusty Axel-"These people are here to collect the cows. Fa Sho and Gemini would have loved to work for these people...being the type of people they are and their pasts!"
One of the cameramen speaks up...
Cameraman-"Rusty...are these people from the slaughterhouse?"
Rusty Axel-"Yep!"
Cameraman-"Well those cows are all in that little pen together. Do these men think they are even healthy enough to be taken to the slaughterhouse? They look underweight..."
Steal loudly scolds the cameramen and Rusty wags his finger at him...
Rusty Axel-"Now see here sonny! You don't know more about ranching than Old Rusty here! Primed and premium livestock that is! I grew up on a damn ranch I know how to look after my animals. I feed them up, keep them clean and healthy then I send them where animals go when they have reached their expiry date! I inherited this ranch 2 months ago from my dear old Uncle and I ain't skipped a beat when it comes to ranching! Its as natural to me as rasslin!"
Neal Steal-"How dare you address a legend in that tone! He's not even one of those veggies Rusty. He was eating a bacon sub on the way up here! You're a hypocrite how dare you comment on Rusty when that bacon probably came from a working mans ranch like this!"
Rusty Axel-"That's right! This is finest authentic produce and locally sourced! This is better than that over produced crap you get in the supermarkets! This is going to a proper farmers market! Proper, authentic cut meats! These cows are pure muscle...well at least until they get to the slaughterhouse! He he he he he!"
The camera crew are now the ones turning their noses up...
The cows are led out the pen and being placed into the truck. The cows look moodily at the cameras as the slaughterhouse men look emotionless at what is just another day for them.
Neal Steal-"This will be how Fa Sho will be feeling on Thursday Rusty! Like being led to the slaughter when he has to face you!"
Rusty Axel-"Well I ain't gonna kill him but I'm gonna give him a good ol' fashioned butt whupping! He he he he he! Still I ain't gonna hurt him too bad...he's gotta rassle at the PPV hasn't he..."
The last cow is herded into he truck and the doors slam shut behind it. Secured and resigned to its fate a cows face looks sadly through the iron bars. The camera zooms in and we hear its final, parting words...
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Neal Steal-"We are almost late for this interview because of your useless driving! A man like Rusty Axel prides himself on his punctuality! 34 years in the business and never late to a show once! Hurry up and turn the main camera on! Have you got the handheld setup already? Right...well I'm only using that jeep because the limo isn't designed for these dirt roads! Anyway...urgggh!"
Steal turns up his nose as if he's just smelled something bad. Considering he's in the middle of a country next to a ranch that is quite the possibility...
Neal Steal-"Open that gate for me!"
Cameraman-"Why?"
Neal Steal-"Because I'm the boss here! Rusty...and Mr Megala have placed me in charge of this interview! You do as you're...ha ha ha ha ha!"
One of the cameramen raises his boot to show he's accidentally stepped in some...well...waste material!"
Neal Steal-"You aren't going back in the jeep with that filth on it! You're going to have to walk it 3 miles back to the hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
The cameraman glares at Steal's mean spirited laughter.
Neal Steal-"I told you to open the gate this instant!"
The cameramen opens the gate swinging it hard which gets another look of disdain from Steal.
Neal Steal-"Not so hard now was it? Anyway here we...AH! AWAY! AWAY BEAST!"
The camera zooms down to show the "beast" is nothing more than a small cat. Steal gives the cat a light kick (MEOW!) and it runs off! The cameramen glare at Steal for kicking the small, defenceless animal.
Neal Steal-"Now that cat will know to watch where its going!"
Steal laughs again no doubt feeling like a big man kicking something even more weak than he is.
Neal Steal-"That's what Mr Royal is going to do to Slop this week! Brush him aside like a piece of trash! What an absolute disgrace Maggia is I hear Mr Megala might be on CRASH as well this week...RUSTY! RUSTY!"
Rusty walks out of a barn wearing a ridculous cowboy hat. He is at least wearing jeans unlike Steal who looks completely out of place wearing a grey, bland suit.
Rusty Axel-"Hello Neal! Come and join Old Rusty over here!"
Rusty walks over to a wooden bench and sits down. Steal takes a seat next to him.
Neal Steal-"How are you feeling today Rusty? I have to say how impressed I am by that ass whupping you gave Gemini at the PPV! Its no wonder he's the number 1 contender its a reward that he even managed to last a few minutes with you. Of course Mr Royal should be the no 1 contender..."
Rusty Axel-"Well you know young Roberto...he's the one who's given Gemini the shot. Gemini's lucky I allowed him to walk out last week. That's more than Gemini has done for some people in his life..."
Neal Steal-"What do you mean?"
Rusty shuffles towards Steal and speaks almost in a whispering tone.
Rusty Axel-"Well you're in the locker room before shows sometimes right? You hear the whispers..."
Neal Steal-"Ah yes I certainly do! I've heard the whispers about Fa Sho as well..."
Rusty Axel-"Well its about time they were confronted with it!"
Neal Steal-"Its already an open secret Rusty they have no shame..."
Rusty Axel-"Exactly they have no shame at all. You guys have heard what Sho and Gemini have done in their pasts right?"
The cameramen nod...
Rusty Axel-"For those not in the know Fa Sho and Gemini are nothing more than a couple of cold blooded...MURDERERS!"
Rusty emphasises the final word for dramatic effect. Steal shakes his head in disgust...
Rusty Axel-"Ya heard Old Rusty right...MURDERERS! Now I've met some miserable human beings in the rasslin business but I've never faced two murderers in successive weeks! Now some say they ain't murdered anyone...at least not in cold blood. Well that's nothing more than a lame excuse! Murder is murder!"
Neal Steal-"They should be sent to the electric chair! The death penalty is legal in Missouri and Florida you know? Well of course you will know...you're Rusty Axel!"
Rusty Axel-"I know! Lets remind you of the specifics (MOOOO!) since its been an open secret for some time. Gemini killed his girlfriend (MOOOOOO!) and her secret lover. A crime or passion perhaps...the actions of a jilted, jealous ex boyfriend! You know what people have said about that incident? It was the classic signs of somebody afflicted by...ROID RAGE! That's right...steroids! That's...(MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)"
Rusty pauses annoyed at the rather loud interruptions in the background...
Rusty Axel-"Oh shut up you stupid cow! Its worse than the damn pyromaniacs!"
The camera zooms in on a small pen as the cow softly moos again. Beyond the fence we see several cows and horses which have actually been grouped in the same pen. They barely have room beyond the fences to move...a blatant case of neglect here.
Rusty Axel-"Now lemme tell ya something Neal...ya know Gemini's style right? He's a power rassler that's the style he rassles in the ring. Yet he's only 220 pounds. Now that ain't natural only the gullible would say that! He's beefed up by steroids it couldn't be anymore obvious!"
Neal Steal-"I wouldn't be surprised if Fa Sho is on them as well...Maggia's a disgrace we have two steroid taking murderers main eventing a PPV! What sort of image will this be for the AWR?"
Rusty Axel-"Nah I don't think Sho's on steroids. He actually murdered his own Ma! I don't think that was roid rage moreso the fact that he's an absolute lunatic! I mean Jesus Christ what sort of person tops their own Mother!"
Steal loudly laughs. Of course his relationship with his own Mother isn't much better than Fa Sho's was...
Rusty Axel-"Sho's lucky its gonna be non title this week because he might get an even worse ass whupping than Gemini and Swift did. Now I never used backchat towards my Mother...she was awful mean! If I answered back to her she used to be the one who dragged my butt to the woodshed! My Dad was afraid of her! Even I was! Hey look Neal come over here..."
Rusty leads Steal through a gate and walks up to a horse doing what horses do while standing in a field...
Rusty Axel-"Hey look Fa Sho's sneaked up here he's been listening in on us!"
Rusty points to the horse's ass. Steal laughs loudly again...
Rusty Axel-"Hey Fa Sho now this is private property! You can't just walk in here uninvited on a mans personal land! You're trespassing here boi! Now take your miserable, murdering butt and hit the road because I pump a couple of barrels in ya!"
Steal laughs loudly again.
"NEIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
Steal shrieks as the horse startled by his laughter suddenly rears back. Steal runs through a little gate as Rusty grabs the reigns and scolds the horse.
Rusty Axel-"Now that's a guest you're braying at 'ere! Calm down you silly mare!"
The horse ignores Rusty and neighs again. Rusty shuts the gate and takes a seat back at the bench. Steal gulps down some water breathing heavily from his "traumatic" experience. The camera crew look sad that the horse didn't kick Steal.
Rusty Axel-"Now if that horse had kicked ya Neal you wouldn't be standing. I probably wouldn't be standing had it kicked me! That's a horse...at least it ain't gonna know the difference between right and wrong! Ah look been waiting for some business to go down here! A regular pickup!"
A large truck pulls up. It has a small window with small iron bars at the back. A couple of men get out and open the doors. Steal turns his nose up again and in this case the smell seems to be coming from the truck. Rusty grins...
Rusty Axel-"I don't think you're cut out for country life Neal! I couldn't see you up and about in the fields at 4am! You're a city boi aren't you? Now this air out here might not smell like it but its cleaner than those big cities!"
Steal wipes his forehead clearly sweltering in the heat...
Rusty Axel-"These people are here to collect the cows. Fa Sho and Gemini would have loved to work for these people...being the type of people they are and their pasts!"
One of the cameramen speaks up...
Cameraman-"Rusty...are these people from the slaughterhouse?"
Rusty Axel-"Yep!"
Cameraman-"Well those cows are all in that little pen together. Do these men think they are even healthy enough to be taken to the slaughterhouse? They look underweight..."
Steal loudly scolds the cameramen and Rusty wags his finger at him...
Rusty Axel-"Now see here sonny! You don't know more about ranching than Old Rusty here! Primed and premium livestock that is! I grew up on a damn ranch I know how to look after my animals. I feed them up, keep them clean and healthy then I send them where animals go when they have reached their expiry date! I inherited this ranch 2 months ago from my dear old Uncle and I ain't skipped a beat when it comes to ranching! Its as natural to me as rasslin!"
Neal Steal-"How dare you address a legend in that tone! He's not even one of those veggies Rusty. He was eating a bacon sub on the way up here! You're a hypocrite how dare you comment on Rusty when that bacon probably came from a working mans ranch like this!"
Rusty Axel-"That's right! This is finest authentic produce and locally sourced! This is better than that over produced crap you get in the supermarkets! This is going to a proper farmers market! Proper, authentic cut meats! These cows are pure muscle...well at least until they get to the slaughterhouse! He he he he he!"
The camera crew are now the ones turning their noses up...
The cows are led out the pen and being placed into the truck. The cows look moodily at the cameras as the slaughterhouse men look emotionless at what is just another day for them.
Neal Steal-"This will be how Fa Sho will be feeling on Thursday Rusty! Like being led to the slaughter when he has to face you!"
Rusty Axel-"Well I ain't gonna kill him but I'm gonna give him a good ol' fashioned butt whupping! He he he he he! Still I ain't gonna hurt him too bad...he's gotta rassle at the PPV hasn't he..."
The last cow is herded into he truck and the doors slam shut behind it. Secured and resigned to its fate a cows face looks sadly through the iron bars. The camera zooms in and we hear its final, parting words...
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"