Post by Silvio Megala on Nov 30, 2011 10:22:52 GMT -4
AWR CRASH TV #13
LIVE!
David Saturn-"Hello and welcome to CRASH Tv where we have 4 matches for you tonight!"
Neal Steal-"Well forget about that the main news is we will have a special celebration! Several dignitaries here in attendance tonight to witness a high class ceremony in which we will celebrate the crowning of the AWR World champion Anthony Royal!"
David Saturn-"Which is not official because the other shareholders have quite rightly objected..."
Neal Steal-"Well they should do as they are told! The last couple of weeks we have not had a show because Mr Megala had no choice but to withdraw his financial backing..."
David Saturn-"He's attempting blackmail in other words. Silvio has given the shareholders until January 1st to accept his offer or most likely it will mean the end of AWR...or at least force the sale of the company. Its pathetic of Royal and Megala to act like this but what else could be expected by two scumbags..."
Neal Steal-"You're just bitter because Royal beat you up which quite frankly you had coming!"
David Saturn-"Yes I was rather bitter. Concussion, fractured ribs I can't deny it has lowered my opinion of Royal even further. The facts however show he has not won the title in an official match. Anyway we better go to our opening bout..."
David Saturn-"You will notice the entrance videos and graphics have mysteriously vanished. I believe the production budget has been lowered courtesy of your hero Silvio...not that I expect you will admit it..."
Neal Steal-"I always tell the truth Saturn! Yes it is Mr Megala who has withdrawn funding which means the overall production quality has been lessened here tonight. Its called business Saturn all Mr Megala is doing is showing his ruthless side which all successful businessmen have..."
David Saturn-"He's nothing but a shark..."
As Rusty enters the ring he immediately charges forward. Tweeder sidesteps, spins Rusty into the corner and delivers a series of elbows to the ribs and face. Tweeder whips Rusty into the corner, Axel charges forward and Tweeder again whips him into the opposite corner. Again Rusty charges forward and Tweeder catches Axel by the arm going for a takedown.
Neal Steal-"I've never liked these superhero types..."
David Saturn-"Yes I guess Silvio is still upset about what IWG legend Flashburn's revenge costing him the NIWF title after Silvio had forced him out of IWG..."
Neal Steal-"Its a serious business not a freakshow! You have Rusty here who is such a traditional WRESTLER and then you have this acrobat. From England by all accounts and spends most of his time in the "pub" as they call it. Basically that's where they spend all their time drinking smething most of the idiots in this crowd could identify with..."
Rusty blocks and delivers a suplex keeping Tweeder upside down in the air for several seconds before driving him into the mat. Rusty pulls Tweeder to his feet and clubs him across the back. Axel with a blow to the head staggering Tweeder and goes for another suplex. Tweeder counters, lands on his feet and goes for an inside cradle! 1, 2 and Rusty kicks out.
Neal Steal-"Tweeder thinks he's above Rusty because he can do all this fancy high flying crap. Rusty prefers to actually wrestle...back in Rusty's day they kept things on the mat. I'll pick a mat technician like Rusty over this vanilla midget anytime..."
David Saturn-"Rusty's a cheap shot artist who has had a mediocre journeyman career. Tweeder actually has a cult following..."
Neal Steal-"Yes no doubt those idiots on the internet...nobody cares if he can fly around the ring. That won't draw ratings..."
David Saturn-"Rusty keeping to his word so far...SIN have not joined him at ringside as he promised. Not that a promise by Rusty usually means much..."
Both men back to their feet immediately and Tweeder kicks Rusty in the stomach. Tweeder lifts Axel up driving him into the mat with a dragon suplex. 1,2…and a kick out. Both men straight back up again, Axel with his back against the ropes. Punch to the head by Rusty and goes for an irish whip. Tweeder reverses whipping Rusty off the ropes...
David Saturn-"Rusty with the spinebuster...1,2...well Tweeder says he has balls and he needed them to kick out of that!"
Neal Steal-"Tweeder talking about money and how he's already planning for retirement. Rusty does not need the money he does this because he loves the business...unlike Tweeder..."
David Saturn-"If Rusty loved the business so much he would be more dedicated. He's won virtually nothing in all his years here..."
Neal Steal-"That's because he always shows up to work with a smile on his face. The promoters never gave him a chance...Mr Megala will of course he appreciates hard work and dedication..."
Tweeder ducks an elbow but as he comes back off the opposite side Rusty scoops him up and delivers a spinebuster! 1,2...kick out by Tweeder who is then dropped face first across the top rope. Rusty pulls Tweeder back to his feet and pushes him into the corner. Shot to the ribs by Rusty and several shots to the face before the ref breaks it up..
David Saturn-"That's Rusty's idea of quality wrestling..."
Neal Steal-"Oh shut up you like the roughness Saturn you are on record as saying that..."
David Saturn-"I also appreciate skill. Nobody can deny Tweeder is more gifted athletically..."
Neal Steal"So what? Nothing is more valuable than knowledge and veteran instinct..."
Axel whips Tweeder into the opposite corner and charges forward elbow first. Another kick to the ribs by Rusty followed by a swift uppercut to the jaw. Axel then chokes Tweeder with his boot releasing as the ref reaches a 4 count. Axel pulls Tweeder and takes him down to the mat. Rusty with an elbowdrop and slowly rises back to his feet.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha! One punch by Rusty knocked this idiot down! Forget this scientific rubbish Rusty gets the job done with good old fashioned..."
David Saturn-"Cheapshots?"
Neal Steal-"Don't interrupt me!"
David Saturn-"Oh else what going to have your buddies...or should I say the guys you act as a stooge for...going to have them cut my headphones off?"
Rusty lets Tweeder rise to his feet and knocks him back down to the mat with a hard right hand. Axel glares at the ref (presumably for breaking up the choke a few moments ago) and very slowly goes for the cover. Tweeder easily kicks out of the lazy pin attempt. Rusty back to his feet and blatantly delivers a thumb to the eye.
David Saturn-"Classic Rusty again...that takes such talent to poke a man in the eye..."
Neal Steal-"Its not Rusty's fault he's wearing that mask he was simply trying to grab hold of his hair..."
David Saturn-"Yes I guess Rusty is upset he can't do any hair pulling...another of his classic wrestling techniques he utilises with such beauty..."
Neal Steal-"Show this veteran some respect referee! You should be honoured to referee a match featuring a legend like Rusty!"
The ref admonishes Rusty again which is ignored as Axel follows that up with a rake across the eyes. Rusty drives his thumb into the throat of Tweeder. As Tweeder gets back to his feet he surprises Rusty with a kick to the ribs. Another kick to the ribs but Rusty drives Tweeder head first into the ringpost. No regard by Rusty for Tweeder there whatsoever! Axel leaves the ring cursing at the ref as Tweeder looks like he may be out cold.
WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION: TWEEDER
David Saturn-"Well that sums up Rusty. He's actually proud of that..."
Neal Steal-"Well Rusty told Tweeder to show some balls...Tweeder just didn't have any! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
David Saturn-"Oh shut up Steal! Anyone would be injured by a kick to the balls like that...I think Tweeder might be knocked out can't tell with that mask...we will be right back in a few moments!
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Neal Steal-"Well looks like we have another superhero wannabe here. Why does this business have to attract such fools..."
David Saturn-"You're just bitter because your hero hates the likes of McSweetpants..."
Neal Steal-"At least people like Flashburn and his group of idiots could be taken seriously. How can you take a guy who goes by the name of McSweetpants serious?"
David Saturn-"Nobody cares what his name is. I think its quite a unique name...we will see what he can do in the ring that's what is important..."
As McSweetpants enters the ring Randal immediately delivers a series of forearms. McSweetpants doesn’t react and simply stares him down. He then grabs Randal tossing him into the corner turnbuckle and delivers haymakers (which he would call "heroic punches". McSweetpants then delivers a punch with such force Randal actually falls to the outside.
David Saturn-"Wow what a punch! Randal is bigger but he obviously lacks the super powers McSweetpants possesses!"
Neal Steal-"Oh very witty...is this idiot a friend of that other guy who had his ass kicked by Rusty moments ago..."
David Saturn-"His name is Tweeder and yes they are looking out for each other...they have to with SIN around...still no Rusty or Carr out here. Nobody knows where Adkins is..."
As Randal gets up Dude reaches over the ropes and pulls Randal back onto the apron. He stretches Randal across the ropes and delivers a painful chop to the chest. Randal drops to the floor again and Dude follows. Randal grabs McSweetpants by the arm arm obviously looking to whip him into the steel steps. McSweetpants easily blocks the attempt and picks Red up throwing him back into the ring.
David Saturn-"Nothing Randal is doing seems to hurt this man..."
Neal Steal-"He's just pretending he isn't hurt to keep up this ridiculous premise he's got superpowers. People like McSweetpants need to grow up this is a serious promotion..."
David Saturn-"With a clown like you on commentary?"
As McSweetpants enters the ring Randal tries to kick him in the ribs. Once again this is blocked and McSweetpants sends Randal crashing to the mat with a heroic kick to the head. Randal backs into the corner and Dude charges. Randal lifts his legs catching McSweetpants in the eye which at last appears to have some impact. Dude charges again but Randal moves and McSweetpants almost crashes into the referee in the corner.
David Saturn-"McSweetpants almost taking out the ref there...by accident..."
Neal Steal-"That's what happens when you rush around like an idiot...McSweetpants just got hurt there didn't he? Ha ha ha Couldn't hide that one could you?"
David Saturn-"Copying Rusty's example from earlier tonight. Referee failing to spot that blatant cheating...don't know how McSweetpants managed to avoid him he wasn't hurt..."
Randal then strikes McSweetpants with more blows and then kicks him in the groin area which the ref somehow fails to spot. Obviously this has some impact and goes for a suplex. Randal hits the suplex but McSweetpants jumps right back up to his feet showing no effects! Randal is pissed at the lack of impact and seems at a loss unsure what to do next.
David Saturn-"Randal is lost!"
Neal Steal-"Of course he's not don't be ridiculous. He's simply thinking things through he's an intelligent competitor..."
David Saturn-"Randal's an idiot!"
As Randal thinks over his next move McSweetpants points towards him and yells something to the crowd. Before Randal can react McSweetpants scoops him up and hits him with the HEROIC TIDE! 1,2...3! McSweetpants celebrates as if he is flying rushing around the ring with his arms outstretched.
WINNER BY PINFALL: DUDE McSWEETPANTS
Neal Steal-"Anyone with a bad view of wrestling who thinks its a circus only has to show a clip of this idiot...poor Randal..."
David Saturn-"Yes he just got his ass kicked! We will be back in a few moments for the latest in the best of seven between Carr and Rattlesnake..."
Neal Steal-"That's Robert Carr to you..."
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BEST OF SEVEN SERIES
RATTLESNAKE VS ROBERT CARR
David Saturn-"Getting into a fistfight right away here! That's normal for Rattlesnake but Carr not backing down...surprisingly..."
Neal Steal-"He never has. These men are consumed by hatred for each other Carr simply can't stand him and Rattlesnake is so jealous...
David Saturn-"Shut up! Rattlesnake has no reason to be jealous of Carr!"
Carr and Snake don’t lock up instead getting right into a fistfight. Carr seems slightly taken aback strange when Rattlesnake has always taken it to him in this manner. Rattlesnake doesn’t look to be intimidated and begins kicking Carr in the ribs and chokes him. Snake then ties Carr up in the ropes and begins punching him before the referee breaks it up. Snake then kicks Carr again.
Neal Steal-"I think they should have brought back the old rules for this and disqualify for throwing over the top rope. Its supposed to be a good old fashioned wrestling competition this best of seven..."
David Saturn-"Shut up about this good old fashion wrestling trash! You don't even know most of the moves!"
Neal Steal-"That's your job and if you called them more I could offer my expert analysis..."
David Saturn-"I'm too busy responding to your asinine remarks!"
Carr is thrown over the top rope and to the outside. Snake comes out but Carr dodges his charge and Snake is thrown into the ringside barrier. Carr knocks Snake to the ground with a punch, stomps on him before throwing Snake back into the ring. Snake is down and Carr hits him with successive elbows. Carr pulls Snake to his feet and punches him in the ribs and head.
David Saturn-"I don't know whether Carr can brawl quite like Rattlesnake but I guess we haven't seen Carr take this style often. Rattlesnake has really brought out this side of Carr..."
Neal Steal-"Stop taking credit away from Carr..."
David Saturn-"I'm complimenting him on going toe to toe with Rattlesnake in a style he's never preferred. Carr prefers cheating and shortcuts generally but once again we haven't seen SIN out here."
Snake absorbs the beating and manages to get to his feet before responding with a punch of his own. The brief rally however is cutoff as Carr punches back and pummels Snake into the corner. Kicks and stomps by Carr then he chokes Snake with his boot before the referee forces a break. Carr pulls Snake up but Snake suddenly hits a series of punches.
David Saturn-"I don't know where Adkins is but he certainly wouldn't be happy if SIN suffer a third straight loss here tonight..."
Neal Steal-"Carr will win this match and even if he didn't it would simply be a brief setback he would recover from in the rest of the series..."
David Saturn-"Well you're right about that...a win for either would only be one minor step forward...both men tied at 1-1 going into this bout..."
Snake goes to whip Carr off the ropes, Carr reverses and as Snake charges back Carr kicks him in the face. Snake to his credit stays on his feet but is staggered. Carr charges back and takes Snake out with a brutal running kick to the side of the head.
Neal Steal-"What a violent kick by Carr!"
David Saturn-"Anymore like that and Rattlesnake will be drinking through a straw for some time to come! My God what a kick! Wow...well you have to credit Rattlesnake he managed to kick out..."
Carr with the cover…1,2...and Rattlesnake just kicks out. Chinlock applied by Carr who then pulls Harris up to his feet. Despite a couple of punches by Rattlesnake he is knocked to his knees by a strong shot from Carr. Rattlesnake tries to fight to his feet and eventually manages to break the hold with elbows to the ribs. Exchange of punches and Carr kicks Snake in the midsection.
David Saturn-"Great move by Rattlesnake! Both men pulling out all the stops!"
Neal Steal-"That's an original line..."
David Saturn-"Oh and acting like a complete jackass is original?"
Carr goes to whip Snake towards the ropes but Snake blocks and then launches Carr into the air dropping him neck first across the top rope! Great move by Snake but as Carr falls back the 2 men bang their heads. Unfortunately for Snake that blow knocks him to the mat. The referee starts the 10 count and Carr is first to his feet.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha you can see who the tougher man is there!"
David Saturn-"Incase you didn't notice Rattlesnake was caught at the front of his head. That is more likely to knock a man down Carr only sustained a blow to the back of the head...plus Carr crashed into Snake with more force..."
As he charges however Snake kicks him in the face staggering Carr. Charging forward Snake nails Carr with a big clothesline! Carr is right back to his feet and Snake hits the same move knocking Carr down again. Snake goes to the top rope and comes off with a flying elbow…1,2...and kicks out. Snake pulls Carr to his feet and goes for a irish whip.
Neal Steal-"Yahoo! Beat this foul mouthed idiot Robert! You can do it!"
David Saturn-"Wy are you acting as his cheerleader here then...are you a little bit worried Steal? Why else would you be saying stuff like you can do this sounds like you doubt Carr here..."
Neal Steal-"Its a shame Mr Royal's beating didn't knock some sense into you. I think you should take more time off...maybe permanently you're obviously not in the right frame of mind..."
David Saturn-"I took a beating and survived. I'm recovering just fine physically and there's nothing wrong with me mentally! You're the one who's a deluded headcase!"
Carr reverses and as Snake charges back Carr scoops him up for a power slam. Snake reverses, lands on his feet behind Carr and hits a reverse DDT! 1,2...and Carr gets his shoulder up. Snake gets up but Carr suddenly hit’s a sitdown spine buster out of nowhere! 1,2...and Carr kicks out. Carr pulls Snake to his feet, irish whip reversed by Snake, Carr charges back off the ropes and Snake connects with a dropkick! Snake with the cover and Carr gets the shoulder up at 2 again. Carr goes for a irish whip, Snake reverses and hits Carr with the STUNNER!!! Rattlesnake with the cover...1,2...3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: RATTLESNAKE WHO NOW LEADS SERIES AT 2-1)
Neal Steal-"Cheat!"
David Saturn-"You wonder why nobody takes you seriously? He did not cheat at all once again Carr falls victim to the stunner! Rattlesnake now has two straight victories!"
Neal Steal-"Lets go to commercial...don't want this idiot celebrating...you haven't won anything yet Rattlesnake remember that!"
David Saturn-"We will hear from Silvio Megala and Anthony Royal but one more match still to come!"
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David Saturn-"What an ovation for Playboy Pete as he looks for his first win here in Attitude Wrestling Revival!"
Neal Steal-"Yes I guess he's an example to all obese Americans. Pete might have rare athleticism for a man of his size but most people like him are only fit to operate the slurpee machine at the local 7/11..."
Pete enters the ring to a tremendous ovation as Howard glares at him with disgust. Lockup and Pete shoves Howard towards the ropes. Knockdown by Pete as Howard attempted a shoulder tackle. Howard was never going to knock down a 400 pounder like that. Another lockup and thumb to the eye by Howard which does have an impact.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha! Can't blame Jason for that Pete still gloating about that disgusting prank several weeks back. Jason has been taunted nonstop ever since he's just about had all he can take and Pete will suffer another loss at Jason's hands..."
David Saturn-"Yes that was a victory Jason could be proud of winning thanks to outside interference..."
Neal Steal-"Which he never asked for so why don't you shut up!"
David Saturn-"Pete has the fans on his side...he has one tag victory but we don't know who was the legal man when he and Flammenkrieg both made a pin cover...tonight there will be no doubt if Pete gains the win he's been looking for..."
Pete staggers into the corner where Howard connects with several chops to the chest. Howard goes for a whip which Pete reverses sending Jason into the opposite corner. Pete charges crashing into Howard with his full body weight. Pete grabs his ass obviously still mocking Howard over the laxative incident. Howard whipped into the corner with such force that he goes shoulder first into the ringpost. Pete scoops Howard up and delivers 3 backbreakers.
David Saturn-"Pete looks in the mood here tonight. He's all business none of his usual clowning around..."
Neal Steal-"Ha! So you admit he's a buffoon?"
David Saturn-"He's a very entertaining buffoon but sometimes yo have to be a little more serious. That's the one thing that has held Pete back so far..."
Stomp to the back by Pete and then an armdrag takedown. Pete really punishing Howard’s back here and then Howard is lifted into the air and slammed to the mat! Elbowdrop by Pete and whips Howard into the ropes again. Howard charges back and Pete grabs him in a BEARHUG submission! Howard gives up within seconds!!!
WINNER BY SUBMISSION: PLAYBOY PETE
David Saturn-"Relentless display of brute force by Playboy Pete! Howard couldn't handle him tonight!"
Neal Steal-"Still without a pinfall win though because he may not have been the official man in that tag match..."
David Saturn-"Oh shut up! Howard submitted straight away you can't get a more conclusive victory than making your opponent submit...we will be right back in a few moments everyone!"
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We return to AWR Crash TV to see the ring has drastically changed. A red carpet now covers the ring and the ring is filled with balloons. In the center of the ring sits a giant picture of Anthony Royal and Silvio Megala standing tall over Hell from the previous edition of Crash TV. Suddenly, “No Chance in Hell” blares over the PA system and Silvio Megala appears on the stage to a chorus of boos. He is flanked by security guards. Neal Steal leaps onto the announce table with a microphone in hand to introduce Silvio.
Steal:"Ladies and gentlemen, rise to your feet, put your hands together and give a warm welcome to the billion dollar emperor, the Italian genius, 3 time NIWF Champion, Mr. Megala!"
After announcing Silvio, Neal immediately enters the ring to hold the ropes for Silvio. Silvio enters the ring and shakes hands with Neal before taking the mic from him. Silvio waits for the crowd, which is booing relentlessly, to settle down, then he speaks.
Silvio:"Ladies and gentlemen, last week, it was thse great Silvio Megala's pleasure to name a corporate champion. The only man who could lead this company to the top and could be a champion we could all be proud of. Sadly, the other shareholders don’t share the integrity and intelligence of yours truly and refuse to recognize a deserving hand picked warrior as World Champion. By the way, to those shareholders, you now have 23 days to accept what is a very generous offer. Anyways, those ingrates will not ruin this company, which is why tonight, we are all gathered here to celebrate the crowning of our champion. So without further ado...Anthony Royal!!!"
“Say Hello” blares over the PA system as a well-dressed Anthony Royal appears on the stage with a smile on his face. The crowd erupts with boos as Royal shows off the AWR World Heavyweight championship belt the rests around his waist. Like Silvio, Royal is surrounded by security. He slowly struts to the ring, soaking in the crowd reaction. Like with Silvio, Neal holds the ropes open for Royal to enter the ring. Royal enters and shakes hands with Neal before heading to Silvio and doing the same. Silvio then hands him the mic and he begins to speak.
Royal:"Wow, what a beautiful ceremony! What an honor it is for me to have this kind of celebration in my honor. And what an honor it is for these people to get to witness first hand the dawning of the era of Anthony Royal."
The crowd boos heavily.
Royal:"First of all, Silvio, I want to thank you for bestowing me the honor of being your World Champion. I promise you I will not let you down. I promise I will be the corporate champion you wish me to be and I promise I will lead this company from the depths of Hell to the top of the wrestling world!"
Silvio nods as if to say he has complete faith in Royal.
Royal:"Now before we get on with the festivities, the Unofficial Official AWR World Champion has some business to attend to. As you all know the sheep shareholders not named Silvio Megala don’t feel that this championship belongs around my waist. Well we all know that it does. Silvio wants me to represent you all as your champion, I want to represent you all as your champion and obviously, you all want me to represent you as your champion."
More boos from those in attendance.
Royal:"So I’m asking you to do your part to talk some sense in the other shareholders. I have started an online petition to make my reign as champion official. Ladies and gentlemen, it is up to you to remove “unofficial” from my title. Go to www.AWRmakeitofficial.com and let your voices be heard, because as insignificant as you may seem to be, you can make a difference."
Royal:"Now ladies and gentleman, I want you to know that you can have absolute faith in me. I will be your hero. I will continue to slay vicious monsters such as Flammenkrieg and Hell. I will continue to compete with dignity, honor and integrity. Ladies and gentlemen, in short, I will continue to be the absolute greatest wrestler you have ever in your life had the honor to see!"
Suddenly, the crowd comes to life with cheers. Royal believes the crowd to be cheering for him, but in reality the monster Hell has come through the crowd and has begun taking out the security around the world.
Royal: Thank you ladies and gentlemen!
Royal continues to play to the crowd while Hell eliminates the wall that stands between him and the men that embarrassed him a week ago. Royal, Silvio and Neal all turn around just in time to see Hell approaching the ring. Their eyes widen with shock and horror as Hell enters. Royal and Silvio bolt from the ring, but Neal isn’t quite as fast. Hell snatches Neal around the throat. Royal and Silvio leap onto opposite sides of the ring apron as if they are going to confront Hell. Hell tosses Neal aside and motions for Royal and Hell to bring it. Quickly, Neal scurries out of the ring, and as soon as he does, Royal and Silvio hop down from the apron and backpedal up the ramp, smirking all the way. Royal holds the AWR Championship in the air mocking Hell. Hell just shakes his head and smiles sadistically, growling to Royal and Silvio that this isn’t close to being over as AWR Crash TV goes off the air.
LIVE!
COMMENTATORS
AND
David Saturn-"Hello and welcome to CRASH Tv where we have 4 matches for you tonight!"
Neal Steal-"Well forget about that the main news is we will have a special celebration! Several dignitaries here in attendance tonight to witness a high class ceremony in which we will celebrate the crowning of the AWR World champion Anthony Royal!"
David Saturn-"Which is not official because the other shareholders have quite rightly objected..."
Neal Steal-"Well they should do as they are told! The last couple of weeks we have not had a show because Mr Megala had no choice but to withdraw his financial backing..."
David Saturn-"He's attempting blackmail in other words. Silvio has given the shareholders until January 1st to accept his offer or most likely it will mean the end of AWR...or at least force the sale of the company. Its pathetic of Royal and Megala to act like this but what else could be expected by two scumbags..."
Neal Steal-"You're just bitter because Royal beat you up which quite frankly you had coming!"
David Saturn-"Yes I was rather bitter. Concussion, fractured ribs I can't deny it has lowered my opinion of Royal even further. The facts however show he has not won the title in an official match. Anyway we better go to our opening bout..."
SINGLES MATCH
RUSTY AXEL VS TWEEDER
RUSTY AXEL VS TWEEDER
David Saturn-"You will notice the entrance videos and graphics have mysteriously vanished. I believe the production budget has been lowered courtesy of your hero Silvio...not that I expect you will admit it..."
Neal Steal-"I always tell the truth Saturn! Yes it is Mr Megala who has withdrawn funding which means the overall production quality has been lessened here tonight. Its called business Saturn all Mr Megala is doing is showing his ruthless side which all successful businessmen have..."
David Saturn-"He's nothing but a shark..."
As Rusty enters the ring he immediately charges forward. Tweeder sidesteps, spins Rusty into the corner and delivers a series of elbows to the ribs and face. Tweeder whips Rusty into the corner, Axel charges forward and Tweeder again whips him into the opposite corner. Again Rusty charges forward and Tweeder catches Axel by the arm going for a takedown.
Neal Steal-"I've never liked these superhero types..."
David Saturn-"Yes I guess Silvio is still upset about what IWG legend Flashburn's revenge costing him the NIWF title after Silvio had forced him out of IWG..."
Neal Steal-"Its a serious business not a freakshow! You have Rusty here who is such a traditional WRESTLER and then you have this acrobat. From England by all accounts and spends most of his time in the "pub" as they call it. Basically that's where they spend all their time drinking smething most of the idiots in this crowd could identify with..."
Rusty blocks and delivers a suplex keeping Tweeder upside down in the air for several seconds before driving him into the mat. Rusty pulls Tweeder to his feet and clubs him across the back. Axel with a blow to the head staggering Tweeder and goes for another suplex. Tweeder counters, lands on his feet and goes for an inside cradle! 1, 2 and Rusty kicks out.
Neal Steal-"Tweeder thinks he's above Rusty because he can do all this fancy high flying crap. Rusty prefers to actually wrestle...back in Rusty's day they kept things on the mat. I'll pick a mat technician like Rusty over this vanilla midget anytime..."
David Saturn-"Rusty's a cheap shot artist who has had a mediocre journeyman career. Tweeder actually has a cult following..."
Neal Steal-"Yes no doubt those idiots on the internet...nobody cares if he can fly around the ring. That won't draw ratings..."
David Saturn-"Rusty keeping to his word so far...SIN have not joined him at ringside as he promised. Not that a promise by Rusty usually means much..."
Both men back to their feet immediately and Tweeder kicks Rusty in the stomach. Tweeder lifts Axel up driving him into the mat with a dragon suplex. 1,2…and a kick out. Both men straight back up again, Axel with his back against the ropes. Punch to the head by Rusty and goes for an irish whip. Tweeder reverses whipping Rusty off the ropes...
David Saturn-"Rusty with the spinebuster...1,2...well Tweeder says he has balls and he needed them to kick out of that!"
Neal Steal-"Tweeder talking about money and how he's already planning for retirement. Rusty does not need the money he does this because he loves the business...unlike Tweeder..."
David Saturn-"If Rusty loved the business so much he would be more dedicated. He's won virtually nothing in all his years here..."
Neal Steal-"That's because he always shows up to work with a smile on his face. The promoters never gave him a chance...Mr Megala will of course he appreciates hard work and dedication..."
Tweeder ducks an elbow but as he comes back off the opposite side Rusty scoops him up and delivers a spinebuster! 1,2...kick out by Tweeder who is then dropped face first across the top rope. Rusty pulls Tweeder back to his feet and pushes him into the corner. Shot to the ribs by Rusty and several shots to the face before the ref breaks it up..
David Saturn-"That's Rusty's idea of quality wrestling..."
Neal Steal-"Oh shut up you like the roughness Saturn you are on record as saying that..."
David Saturn-"I also appreciate skill. Nobody can deny Tweeder is more gifted athletically..."
Neal Steal"So what? Nothing is more valuable than knowledge and veteran instinct..."
Axel whips Tweeder into the opposite corner and charges forward elbow first. Another kick to the ribs by Rusty followed by a swift uppercut to the jaw. Axel then chokes Tweeder with his boot releasing as the ref reaches a 4 count. Axel pulls Tweeder and takes him down to the mat. Rusty with an elbowdrop and slowly rises back to his feet.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha! One punch by Rusty knocked this idiot down! Forget this scientific rubbish Rusty gets the job done with good old fashioned..."
David Saturn-"Cheapshots?"
Neal Steal-"Don't interrupt me!"
David Saturn-"Oh else what going to have your buddies...or should I say the guys you act as a stooge for...going to have them cut my headphones off?"
Rusty lets Tweeder rise to his feet and knocks him back down to the mat with a hard right hand. Axel glares at the ref (presumably for breaking up the choke a few moments ago) and very slowly goes for the cover. Tweeder easily kicks out of the lazy pin attempt. Rusty back to his feet and blatantly delivers a thumb to the eye.
David Saturn-"Classic Rusty again...that takes such talent to poke a man in the eye..."
Neal Steal-"Its not Rusty's fault he's wearing that mask he was simply trying to grab hold of his hair..."
David Saturn-"Yes I guess Rusty is upset he can't do any hair pulling...another of his classic wrestling techniques he utilises with such beauty..."
Neal Steal-"Show this veteran some respect referee! You should be honoured to referee a match featuring a legend like Rusty!"
The ref admonishes Rusty again which is ignored as Axel follows that up with a rake across the eyes. Rusty drives his thumb into the throat of Tweeder. As Tweeder gets back to his feet he surprises Rusty with a kick to the ribs. Another kick to the ribs but Rusty drives Tweeder head first into the ringpost. No regard by Rusty for Tweeder there whatsoever! Axel leaves the ring cursing at the ref as Tweeder looks like he may be out cold.
WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION: TWEEDER
David Saturn-"Well that sums up Rusty. He's actually proud of that..."
Neal Steal-"Well Rusty told Tweeder to show some balls...Tweeder just didn't have any! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
David Saturn-"Oh shut up Steal! Anyone would be injured by a kick to the balls like that...I think Tweeder might be knocked out can't tell with that mask...we will be right back in a few moments!
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SINGLES MATCH
DUDE McSWEETPANTS VS RED RANDAL
DUDE McSWEETPANTS VS RED RANDAL
Neal Steal-"Well looks like we have another superhero wannabe here. Why does this business have to attract such fools..."
David Saturn-"You're just bitter because your hero hates the likes of McSweetpants..."
Neal Steal-"At least people like Flashburn and his group of idiots could be taken seriously. How can you take a guy who goes by the name of McSweetpants serious?"
David Saturn-"Nobody cares what his name is. I think its quite a unique name...we will see what he can do in the ring that's what is important..."
As McSweetpants enters the ring Randal immediately delivers a series of forearms. McSweetpants doesn’t react and simply stares him down. He then grabs Randal tossing him into the corner turnbuckle and delivers haymakers (which he would call "heroic punches". McSweetpants then delivers a punch with such force Randal actually falls to the outside.
David Saturn-"Wow what a punch! Randal is bigger but he obviously lacks the super powers McSweetpants possesses!"
Neal Steal-"Oh very witty...is this idiot a friend of that other guy who had his ass kicked by Rusty moments ago..."
David Saturn-"His name is Tweeder and yes they are looking out for each other...they have to with SIN around...still no Rusty or Carr out here. Nobody knows where Adkins is..."
As Randal gets up Dude reaches over the ropes and pulls Randal back onto the apron. He stretches Randal across the ropes and delivers a painful chop to the chest. Randal drops to the floor again and Dude follows. Randal grabs McSweetpants by the arm arm obviously looking to whip him into the steel steps. McSweetpants easily blocks the attempt and picks Red up throwing him back into the ring.
David Saturn-"Nothing Randal is doing seems to hurt this man..."
Neal Steal-"He's just pretending he isn't hurt to keep up this ridiculous premise he's got superpowers. People like McSweetpants need to grow up this is a serious promotion..."
David Saturn-"With a clown like you on commentary?"
As McSweetpants enters the ring Randal tries to kick him in the ribs. Once again this is blocked and McSweetpants sends Randal crashing to the mat with a heroic kick to the head. Randal backs into the corner and Dude charges. Randal lifts his legs catching McSweetpants in the eye which at last appears to have some impact. Dude charges again but Randal moves and McSweetpants almost crashes into the referee in the corner.
David Saturn-"McSweetpants almost taking out the ref there...by accident..."
Neal Steal-"That's what happens when you rush around like an idiot...McSweetpants just got hurt there didn't he? Ha ha ha Couldn't hide that one could you?"
David Saturn-"Copying Rusty's example from earlier tonight. Referee failing to spot that blatant cheating...don't know how McSweetpants managed to avoid him he wasn't hurt..."
Randal then strikes McSweetpants with more blows and then kicks him in the groin area which the ref somehow fails to spot. Obviously this has some impact and goes for a suplex. Randal hits the suplex but McSweetpants jumps right back up to his feet showing no effects! Randal is pissed at the lack of impact and seems at a loss unsure what to do next.
David Saturn-"Randal is lost!"
Neal Steal-"Of course he's not don't be ridiculous. He's simply thinking things through he's an intelligent competitor..."
David Saturn-"Randal's an idiot!"
As Randal thinks over his next move McSweetpants points towards him and yells something to the crowd. Before Randal can react McSweetpants scoops him up and hits him with the HEROIC TIDE! 1,2...3! McSweetpants celebrates as if he is flying rushing around the ring with his arms outstretched.
WINNER BY PINFALL: DUDE McSWEETPANTS
Neal Steal-"Anyone with a bad view of wrestling who thinks its a circus only has to show a clip of this idiot...poor Randal..."
David Saturn-"Yes he just got his ass kicked! We will be back in a few moments for the latest in the best of seven between Carr and Rattlesnake..."
Neal Steal-"That's Robert Carr to you..."
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BEST OF SEVEN SERIES
RATTLESNAKE VS ROBERT CARR
David Saturn-"Getting into a fistfight right away here! That's normal for Rattlesnake but Carr not backing down...surprisingly..."
Neal Steal-"He never has. These men are consumed by hatred for each other Carr simply can't stand him and Rattlesnake is so jealous...
David Saturn-"Shut up! Rattlesnake has no reason to be jealous of Carr!"
Carr and Snake don’t lock up instead getting right into a fistfight. Carr seems slightly taken aback strange when Rattlesnake has always taken it to him in this manner. Rattlesnake doesn’t look to be intimidated and begins kicking Carr in the ribs and chokes him. Snake then ties Carr up in the ropes and begins punching him before the referee breaks it up. Snake then kicks Carr again.
Neal Steal-"I think they should have brought back the old rules for this and disqualify for throwing over the top rope. Its supposed to be a good old fashioned wrestling competition this best of seven..."
David Saturn-"Shut up about this good old fashion wrestling trash! You don't even know most of the moves!"
Neal Steal-"That's your job and if you called them more I could offer my expert analysis..."
David Saturn-"I'm too busy responding to your asinine remarks!"
Carr is thrown over the top rope and to the outside. Snake comes out but Carr dodges his charge and Snake is thrown into the ringside barrier. Carr knocks Snake to the ground with a punch, stomps on him before throwing Snake back into the ring. Snake is down and Carr hits him with successive elbows. Carr pulls Snake to his feet and punches him in the ribs and head.
David Saturn-"I don't know whether Carr can brawl quite like Rattlesnake but I guess we haven't seen Carr take this style often. Rattlesnake has really brought out this side of Carr..."
Neal Steal-"Stop taking credit away from Carr..."
David Saturn-"I'm complimenting him on going toe to toe with Rattlesnake in a style he's never preferred. Carr prefers cheating and shortcuts generally but once again we haven't seen SIN out here."
Snake absorbs the beating and manages to get to his feet before responding with a punch of his own. The brief rally however is cutoff as Carr punches back and pummels Snake into the corner. Kicks and stomps by Carr then he chokes Snake with his boot before the referee forces a break. Carr pulls Snake up but Snake suddenly hits a series of punches.
David Saturn-"I don't know where Adkins is but he certainly wouldn't be happy if SIN suffer a third straight loss here tonight..."
Neal Steal-"Carr will win this match and even if he didn't it would simply be a brief setback he would recover from in the rest of the series..."
David Saturn-"Well you're right about that...a win for either would only be one minor step forward...both men tied at 1-1 going into this bout..."
Snake goes to whip Carr off the ropes, Carr reverses and as Snake charges back Carr kicks him in the face. Snake to his credit stays on his feet but is staggered. Carr charges back and takes Snake out with a brutal running kick to the side of the head.
Neal Steal-"What a violent kick by Carr!"
David Saturn-"Anymore like that and Rattlesnake will be drinking through a straw for some time to come! My God what a kick! Wow...well you have to credit Rattlesnake he managed to kick out..."
Carr with the cover…1,2...and Rattlesnake just kicks out. Chinlock applied by Carr who then pulls Harris up to his feet. Despite a couple of punches by Rattlesnake he is knocked to his knees by a strong shot from Carr. Rattlesnake tries to fight to his feet and eventually manages to break the hold with elbows to the ribs. Exchange of punches and Carr kicks Snake in the midsection.
David Saturn-"Great move by Rattlesnake! Both men pulling out all the stops!"
Neal Steal-"That's an original line..."
David Saturn-"Oh and acting like a complete jackass is original?"
Carr goes to whip Snake towards the ropes but Snake blocks and then launches Carr into the air dropping him neck first across the top rope! Great move by Snake but as Carr falls back the 2 men bang their heads. Unfortunately for Snake that blow knocks him to the mat. The referee starts the 10 count and Carr is first to his feet.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha you can see who the tougher man is there!"
David Saturn-"Incase you didn't notice Rattlesnake was caught at the front of his head. That is more likely to knock a man down Carr only sustained a blow to the back of the head...plus Carr crashed into Snake with more force..."
As he charges however Snake kicks him in the face staggering Carr. Charging forward Snake nails Carr with a big clothesline! Carr is right back to his feet and Snake hits the same move knocking Carr down again. Snake goes to the top rope and comes off with a flying elbow…1,2...and kicks out. Snake pulls Carr to his feet and goes for a irish whip.
Neal Steal-"Yahoo! Beat this foul mouthed idiot Robert! You can do it!"
David Saturn-"Wy are you acting as his cheerleader here then...are you a little bit worried Steal? Why else would you be saying stuff like you can do this sounds like you doubt Carr here..."
Neal Steal-"Its a shame Mr Royal's beating didn't knock some sense into you. I think you should take more time off...maybe permanently you're obviously not in the right frame of mind..."
David Saturn-"I took a beating and survived. I'm recovering just fine physically and there's nothing wrong with me mentally! You're the one who's a deluded headcase!"
Carr reverses and as Snake charges back Carr scoops him up for a power slam. Snake reverses, lands on his feet behind Carr and hits a reverse DDT! 1,2...and Carr gets his shoulder up. Snake gets up but Carr suddenly hit’s a sitdown spine buster out of nowhere! 1,2...and Carr kicks out. Carr pulls Snake to his feet, irish whip reversed by Snake, Carr charges back off the ropes and Snake connects with a dropkick! Snake with the cover and Carr gets the shoulder up at 2 again. Carr goes for a irish whip, Snake reverses and hits Carr with the STUNNER!!! Rattlesnake with the cover...1,2...3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: RATTLESNAKE WHO NOW LEADS SERIES AT 2-1)
Neal Steal-"Cheat!"
David Saturn-"You wonder why nobody takes you seriously? He did not cheat at all once again Carr falls victim to the stunner! Rattlesnake now has two straight victories!"
Neal Steal-"Lets go to commercial...don't want this idiot celebrating...you haven't won anything yet Rattlesnake remember that!"
David Saturn-"We will hear from Silvio Megala and Anthony Royal but one more match still to come!"
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SINGLES MATCH
PLAYBOY PETE VS JASON HOWARD
PLAYBOY PETE VS JASON HOWARD
David Saturn-"What an ovation for Playboy Pete as he looks for his first win here in Attitude Wrestling Revival!"
Neal Steal-"Yes I guess he's an example to all obese Americans. Pete might have rare athleticism for a man of his size but most people like him are only fit to operate the slurpee machine at the local 7/11..."
Pete enters the ring to a tremendous ovation as Howard glares at him with disgust. Lockup and Pete shoves Howard towards the ropes. Knockdown by Pete as Howard attempted a shoulder tackle. Howard was never going to knock down a 400 pounder like that. Another lockup and thumb to the eye by Howard which does have an impact.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha! Can't blame Jason for that Pete still gloating about that disgusting prank several weeks back. Jason has been taunted nonstop ever since he's just about had all he can take and Pete will suffer another loss at Jason's hands..."
David Saturn-"Yes that was a victory Jason could be proud of winning thanks to outside interference..."
Neal Steal-"Which he never asked for so why don't you shut up!"
David Saturn-"Pete has the fans on his side...he has one tag victory but we don't know who was the legal man when he and Flammenkrieg both made a pin cover...tonight there will be no doubt if Pete gains the win he's been looking for..."
Pete staggers into the corner where Howard connects with several chops to the chest. Howard goes for a whip which Pete reverses sending Jason into the opposite corner. Pete charges crashing into Howard with his full body weight. Pete grabs his ass obviously still mocking Howard over the laxative incident. Howard whipped into the corner with such force that he goes shoulder first into the ringpost. Pete scoops Howard up and delivers 3 backbreakers.
David Saturn-"Pete looks in the mood here tonight. He's all business none of his usual clowning around..."
Neal Steal-"Ha! So you admit he's a buffoon?"
David Saturn-"He's a very entertaining buffoon but sometimes yo have to be a little more serious. That's the one thing that has held Pete back so far..."
Stomp to the back by Pete and then an armdrag takedown. Pete really punishing Howard’s back here and then Howard is lifted into the air and slammed to the mat! Elbowdrop by Pete and whips Howard into the ropes again. Howard charges back and Pete grabs him in a BEARHUG submission! Howard gives up within seconds!!!
WINNER BY SUBMISSION: PLAYBOY PETE
David Saturn-"Relentless display of brute force by Playboy Pete! Howard couldn't handle him tonight!"
Neal Steal-"Still without a pinfall win though because he may not have been the official man in that tag match..."
David Saturn-"Oh shut up! Howard submitted straight away you can't get a more conclusive victory than making your opponent submit...we will be right back in a few moments everyone!"
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We return to AWR Crash TV to see the ring has drastically changed. A red carpet now covers the ring and the ring is filled with balloons. In the center of the ring sits a giant picture of Anthony Royal and Silvio Megala standing tall over Hell from the previous edition of Crash TV. Suddenly, “No Chance in Hell” blares over the PA system and Silvio Megala appears on the stage to a chorus of boos. He is flanked by security guards. Neal Steal leaps onto the announce table with a microphone in hand to introduce Silvio.
Steal:"Ladies and gentlemen, rise to your feet, put your hands together and give a warm welcome to the billion dollar emperor, the Italian genius, 3 time NIWF Champion, Mr. Megala!"
After announcing Silvio, Neal immediately enters the ring to hold the ropes for Silvio. Silvio enters the ring and shakes hands with Neal before taking the mic from him. Silvio waits for the crowd, which is booing relentlessly, to settle down, then he speaks.
Silvio:"Ladies and gentlemen, last week, it was thse great Silvio Megala's pleasure to name a corporate champion. The only man who could lead this company to the top and could be a champion we could all be proud of. Sadly, the other shareholders don’t share the integrity and intelligence of yours truly and refuse to recognize a deserving hand picked warrior as World Champion. By the way, to those shareholders, you now have 23 days to accept what is a very generous offer. Anyways, those ingrates will not ruin this company, which is why tonight, we are all gathered here to celebrate the crowning of our champion. So without further ado...Anthony Royal!!!"
“Say Hello” blares over the PA system as a well-dressed Anthony Royal appears on the stage with a smile on his face. The crowd erupts with boos as Royal shows off the AWR World Heavyweight championship belt the rests around his waist. Like Silvio, Royal is surrounded by security. He slowly struts to the ring, soaking in the crowd reaction. Like with Silvio, Neal holds the ropes open for Royal to enter the ring. Royal enters and shakes hands with Neal before heading to Silvio and doing the same. Silvio then hands him the mic and he begins to speak.
Royal:"Wow, what a beautiful ceremony! What an honor it is for me to have this kind of celebration in my honor. And what an honor it is for these people to get to witness first hand the dawning of the era of Anthony Royal."
The crowd boos heavily.
Royal:"First of all, Silvio, I want to thank you for bestowing me the honor of being your World Champion. I promise you I will not let you down. I promise I will be the corporate champion you wish me to be and I promise I will lead this company from the depths of Hell to the top of the wrestling world!"
Silvio nods as if to say he has complete faith in Royal.
Royal:"Now before we get on with the festivities, the Unofficial Official AWR World Champion has some business to attend to. As you all know the sheep shareholders not named Silvio Megala don’t feel that this championship belongs around my waist. Well we all know that it does. Silvio wants me to represent you all as your champion, I want to represent you all as your champion and obviously, you all want me to represent you as your champion."
More boos from those in attendance.
Royal:"So I’m asking you to do your part to talk some sense in the other shareholders. I have started an online petition to make my reign as champion official. Ladies and gentlemen, it is up to you to remove “unofficial” from my title. Go to www.AWRmakeitofficial.com and let your voices be heard, because as insignificant as you may seem to be, you can make a difference."
Royal:"Now ladies and gentleman, I want you to know that you can have absolute faith in me. I will be your hero. I will continue to slay vicious monsters such as Flammenkrieg and Hell. I will continue to compete with dignity, honor and integrity. Ladies and gentlemen, in short, I will continue to be the absolute greatest wrestler you have ever in your life had the honor to see!"
Suddenly, the crowd comes to life with cheers. Royal believes the crowd to be cheering for him, but in reality the monster Hell has come through the crowd and has begun taking out the security around the world.
Royal: Thank you ladies and gentlemen!
Royal continues to play to the crowd while Hell eliminates the wall that stands between him and the men that embarrassed him a week ago. Royal, Silvio and Neal all turn around just in time to see Hell approaching the ring. Their eyes widen with shock and horror as Hell enters. Royal and Silvio bolt from the ring, but Neal isn’t quite as fast. Hell snatches Neal around the throat. Royal and Silvio leap onto opposite sides of the ring apron as if they are going to confront Hell. Hell tosses Neal aside and motions for Royal and Hell to bring it. Quickly, Neal scurries out of the ring, and as soon as he does, Royal and Silvio hop down from the apron and backpedal up the ramp, smirking all the way. Royal holds the AWR Championship in the air mocking Hell. Hell just shakes his head and smiles sadistically, growling to Royal and Silvio that this isn’t close to being over as AWR Crash TV goes off the air.