Post by Silvio Megala on Aug 16, 2011 21:13:23 GMT -4
AWR CRASH TV #1
LIVE!
The night opens with no intro music as the spotlight shines on the ring. Inside are the commentators for the AWR David Saturn and Neal Steal.
David Saturn-We are LIVE from New York for the debut of the AWR! I'm David Saturn and of course you all know who this man is...
Neal Steal-"Indeed a man who unlike yourself needs no introduction! Must say a new commentary partner would have been preferred won't enjoy working with you again..."
David Saturn-"Lets just say the feeling is mutual...is this how its going to be or are we doing to try and actually call the matches?"
Neal Steal-"Just call it down the middle for once and I'm sure we will get on just fine."
David Saturn-"Laughable coming from you! Wait a moment Steal...is that Hell making his way to the ring?"
The monster Hell makes his way to the ring. While he's not exactly always been fan friendly the crowd seem very pleased to see him. Hell has a mic in hand...Saturn looks a little bemused while Steal looks terrified. The last time Steal was in a ring with Hell he got chokeslammed to hell...no pun intended...
David Saturn-"Well as you can evidently see Hell has decided to join us! Why are you out here now Hell?"
Hell-" I am here to do a little commentary"!!
Neal Steal-"What do you mean you're here to do commentary? That's ridiculous you have no experience! Its hard enough carrying Saturn through a live broadcast and he's been doing this for years!"
Hell-"Listen Steal at least I know what a corkscrew elbow is unlike you whom if Saturn there was to call that move you would think Saturn is talking about a screw to open a bottle of wine with. Now don,t you have someones ass to kiss so how about you run along and pucker up where you are needed!"
Neal Steal-"Well you can't just come out here and do as you please! You haven't even requested permission you can't condone this Saturn..."
David Saturn-" I certainly don't have a problem with you being out here Hell! Hey it might keep Steal quiet remember that chokeslam Hell gave you?"
Neal Steal-"Just about every time I get out of bed in the morning my back will never be the same..."
Hell-I bet it does Steal and don't you ever forget it! As for my being out here get used to it because until my injuries are fully healed I am your third man on this team now! Shut your face Steal and let Saturn do his job like he always does week after week by himself."
David Saturn-We will be right back in just a moment!
Awr CRASH Tv intro theme...
The scene cuts back to the empty ring as the announcers take their positions at the commentary table...
David Saturn-Lets go to the ring!
SINGLES MATCH
RED RANDAL VS BRET HARRIS
From Parts Unknown...Bret...HARRIS!!!
From Halifax, Canada...Red...RANDAL!!!
David Saturn-"Well here comes Red Randal a man who is not exactly going out of his way to make friends..."
Neal Steal-"Well personally I agree with what he said about that Crowley. Last thing we need in wrestling is more devil worshiping nutcases...no offence Hell..."
Hell-"If your not careful Steal you may be the next sacrifice for those so called nutcases! Are you getting the message?"
David Saturn-"You're just asking for Hell to beat your ass Steal!"
As Randal enters the ring he begins yelling at the crowd for no apparent reason. He has his back turned away from Harris who attacks from behind. Clubbing blows to the back, irish whip attempt but Randal reverses and whips Harris into the near turnbuckle. Randal then delivers a clothesline and a clubbing blow to the back. Another clothesline by Randal as Harris attempts to fight back with a shot to the ribs. This has little effect and Randal whips Harris off the ropes and delivers a clubbing blow to the face.
David Saturn-"We have commentated on matches involving Harris before...more of a technical wrestler but nothing working so far against the brawling style of Randal..."
Hell-"Well Randall may be green but he seems to have a knowledge of Wrestling. Never under estimate Harris he is a tricky little sob and he can get the job done when he focuses and stays focused!"
David Saturn-"Hope you don't mind me for saying so Hell but sometimes trying technical stuff has been your downfall. A man of your size should be concentrating on a brawling style like Randal is doing. Seems to be working well for him and he's nowhere near as big as you are..."
Hell-"To be honest Saturn you are incorrect on that. I have won some of my biggest matches using technical skills but i just prefer to go out and hurt whoever stands in my way...but in some senses of what your saying Saturn you might have a bit of a fair point there!"
Neal Steal-"He just insulted you and all you can say he might have a fair point!"
David Saturn-"I was giving a honest viewpoint something you of all people would knowing nothing about..."
Randal with stomps to Harris and then drags him to his feet. Randal then knocks Harris down with a heavy blow to the chest. This is followed up with a blatant eyerake directly in front of the referee who admonishes Randal. Randal drags Harris back to his feet, irish whip off the ropes, dropdown by Randal as Harris leaps over him and as Harris rebounds he is nailed with a big boot to the face. Randal goes to the top rope and comes off with a flying clothesline. Randal is completely dominating Harris so far.
Neal Steal-"I'm impressed so far with Randal..."
David Saturn-"Well I'm sure he will be ecstatic that someone of your stature is impressed...highlight of his career no doubt..."
Neal Steal-"Shut up!"
Hell-"I wish you would take your own advice Steal..."
Randal then suddenly goes to the outside and picks up a chair. As he goes to enter the ring Hell comes up from behind and snatches the chair from him. As Randal argues furiously with Hell he fails to notice the referee making the 10 count! Randal only notices at the last moment but fails to get back in the ring fast enough. Despite the fact he would have been disqualified for blatant use of a chair Randal looks furious. He yells in anger at Hell on the outside who simply grins back at him. Randal looks like he might go after Hell but wisely shows some restraint (considering the size difference) and makes his way backstage. Harris stumbles to his feet still seemingly suffering the effects of the kick to the head…
Neal Steal-"Hell had no right to get involved! Where is he going now?"
David Saturn-"Backstage by the looks of it. I'm a bit confused with Hell's actions though with this apparent nice guy act."
Neal Steal-"I'll tell him you said that if he comes back out here!"
David Saturn-"Go ahead but at least Hell has been honest about what he is in the past. Right now I'm simply not buying into this apparent compassion...its hardly like Hell and Harris have been buddies in the past.
Neal Steal-"So you think he should violently attack people then? Should he have chokeslammed them both is that what you want...you love violence Saturn that's why you're here for the blood and guts..."
David Saturn-"I'm here as a wrestling fan. If he brutally attacks you though I wouldn't be complaining! He should just be true to himself that's all...a monster is what he is and there's no changing that..."
WINNER BY COUNTOUT: BRET HARRIS
********************************************************************************************************
David Saturn-"Welcome back to the debut of Awr CRASH Tv!"
Neal Steal-"What is Hell doing back there..."
The cameras cut to the back stage area where we see Hell inserting money in a soda machine and purchasing a bottle of water. As the change falls through the machine dispenses the water. Hell reaches down and picks up the bottle of water. As he is about to open it there is a ruckus a short distance from where Hell is standing. As the camera switches location to another one we see Rusty Axel and Rattle Snake standing nose to nose. Both men look fuming mad and as Hell ventures into view of the camera we hear him speak.
(Hell)
What the matter boys? Got your panties in a wedgie?
Hell smirks but neither Rattle Snake or Rusty think he is funny. Snake flips Hell the finger and Rusty tells Hell to kiss his ass but neither man looks away from the other. Hell glares at both of them. Then s smirk crosses his face.
(Hell)
Listen since you two have an issue with each other why don,t you both settle this like grown men. I have the perfect solution for both of you your match is next how about settling it in the ring?
Rattlesnake and Axel both glare at Hell as he walks away...
Neal Steal-"Well what a fantastic professional Hell is! Leaves because he's thirsty and then starts lecturing people backstage! Even you aren't buying into this Hell the peacemaker act..."
David Saturn-"You never wanted him here in the first place you just love to moan don't you Steal? Oh look here he comes..."
Neal Steal-"If he insists on doing commentary then he should stay at ringside. We have to stay here for the whole broadcast he should be made to do the same..."
David Saturn-"Nobody could force Hell to do anything..."
Hell retakes his seat at the announcing table as we go to the next match...
SINGLES MATCH
RUSTY AXEL VS RATTLESNAKE
Before the introductions begin both men suddenly appear brawling on the ramp!
Neal Steal-"Well looks like your chat had a tremendous effect Hell...so much for settling it in the ring..."
Hell-Hey both these guys are ring vets ok so whatever they choose to do they will be the only ones to suffer the effects afterwards.
David Saturn-"Well they are getting closer...oh wait Rusty Axel just decked the referee!"
Both men ram each other face first into the ringsteps and exchange a violent series of punches. Referees rush out trying to stop the 2 men as Axel nails Rattlesnake with a chair. Another shot and another...Rattlesnake looks like he has been busted open. Axel then begins to bite rattlesnakes forehead seemingly wanting a taste of his blood. More officials come out and eventually manage to separate the 2 men!
David Saturn-Well it looks like the officials are going to judge this as a no contest. Never got going and Rattlesnake does not look to be in a fit state to continue here...
WINNER: NO CONTEST
Hell-See that is why you try to settle things in the ring. I am sure Rattle Snake will be feeling the effects of this for weeks to come. Rusty isn't what i would call a sloutch but then i guess Rattle Snake isn't either!
Neal Steal-"Planning to stay out here during the commercial Hell or planning to take another quick break..."
Hell-"Only if I have to run to the washroom. Kidney injuries will do that steal."
Neal Steal-Saturn has irritable bowel syndrome you don't see him running backstage..."
David Saturn-"I do not have IBS...though you certainly have diarrhea of the mouth with all this crap you're coming out with! We will be right back in just a moment!"
Hell-Saturn has that disorder because he works so closely with an ass lick like you Steal! That would make anyone have the runs!
********************************************************************************************************
MAIN EVENT
SINGLES MATCH
CROWLEY VS ROMEO DAMASCUS
From Warwick, England...Mr...CROWLEY!!!
From Damascus, Italy...Romeo...DAMASCUS!!!
Neal Steal-"I like the look of this Damascus. How nice to see someone who seems to appreciate culture joining the AWR...he's from Italy too just like Mr Megala..."
David Saturn-"Wondered how long it would be until you brought up your heroes name. Silvio Megala one of the majority shareholders in AWR here by the way..."
Neal Steal-"So you should show him a little more respect than you have in the past..."
David Saturn"You're the ass kisser around here not me..."
Hell-The only respect he will get from me is my size fourteen straight up his ass like he got the last time he stepped in the ring with me. Kinda like the same treatment I dished out to you Steal and I hope there isn't a day that goes by that you won't remember your ass kicking either.
The bell rings and we are underway! Both men taking their time to lock up here thinking about their first move. Damascus charges forward and Crowley meets him with a stiff kick to the ribs. Crowley with a shot to the face of Romeo and backs him into the corner. Crowley whips Damascus into the opposite corner and charges forward.
David Saturn-"Huge man Crowley almost..."
Neal Steal-"Oh tremendous insight there Saturn..."
David Saturn-"Shut up! As I was about to say he's almost as big as you isn't he Hell?"
Hell-"Good point there Saturn. There is just one difference though. He is not me AND HIS SIZE WOULDN'T MEASURE UP TO WHAT I CAN DISH OUT IN AND OUT OF THE RING!"
David Saturn-"Well yes that's true size isn't everything you need to have some real heart to make it in the wrestling business...and nobody can deny your success Hell..."
Neal Steal-"You're the one kissing ass here sucking up to Hell all night..."
As he does so Damascus raises his feet catching Crowley in the face. Crowley staggers for a moment but as Damascus charges off the ropes Crowley nails him with a hard clothesline. As Damascus gets right back up Crowley motions for a chokeslam which Damascus avoids by quickly rolling to the outside.
Neal Steal-"Are you not upset about that Hell? He's going for a chokeslam you use that..."
David Saturn-"Yes as you found out to your cost! Ha!"
Hell-"OK THATS FAIR BUT YOUR MISSING THE POINT! I ALSO USE A CLAW HOLD AS A SUBMISSION AS WELL AS MY MAIN FINISHER THE HELL PLEX! THATS JUST ONE OF MY MOVES HE IS MIMICING! HOWEVER HE HIT THAT ONE WITH PERFECTION!"
David Saturn-"I think Steal has a point for once Crowley does have some very similar mannerisms to you Hell inside the ring..."
As Damascus rises back to his feet Crowley reaches over the top rope grabbing Damascus by the hair. Romeo responds by taking out Crowley’s legs dragging him to the outside and suddenly lets loose with a frenetic series of punches. Damascus tries to whip Crowley into the steps but the stronger Crowley reverses and whips Damascus back first into the barricade.
David Saturn-"Crowley has a colossal size advantage over Damascus...the key thing here is durability not artistry...and I can't say we have seen anything of beauty from Romeo this far..."
Hell-"Hey never under estimate any wrestler in the sport because anyone can beat anyone else on any given day! That is the key to beauty!"
Neal Steal-"I don't think Romeo is used to this kind of treatment..."
Damascus is in some discomfort after that shot to the back. The referee isn’t making the 10 count perhaps taking a liberty but also wanting a clear pinfall or submission winner after the first couple of matches. Finally the ref does begin a 10 count and Crowley quickly throws Damascus back into the ring.
Hell-"Well with the names signing up on the roster he had better get used to it because guys like red randal, rattle snake, bret harris and rusty axel are not going to lay down for him just from what I have seen out of them tonight! Now so far the man hasn't done anything that is effecting crowley!"
David Saturn-Fully agree nothing Damascus seems to be doing has any effect...are you sure you have never heard of Crowley? He seems to move in similar underground circles to yourself...
Hell-"Well not to my knowledge but you never no because he could have been under a mask or another assumed name like many wrestlers will do when moving from one organization to another!"
Neal Steal-"Hey he's an artist...let go of the arm he needs that to produce his fine art!"
Crowley has Damascus by the arm stretching presumably hoping to hyper-extend the elbow. Crowley yanks hard on the arm forcing Damascus down to his knees briefly. Crowley then rams Damascus hard shoulder first into the ringpost. Damascus gets back to his feet as Crowley charges forward clotheslining Romeo over the top rope.
Neal Steal-"Poke to the eye never fails no matter how big you are!"
David Saturn"Hardly the beauty we have been led to believe Damascus was going to mesmerise us all with is it? So far he's used nothing but cheap brawling tactics..."
Hell-"Well give him credit at least for having a game plan!"
Damascus lands hard on his back as Crowley takes a quick breather. As Crowley moves forward Damascus pokes him in the eye. Crowley responds with an elbow to the face with Damascus landing on the apron. This is the ideal position for a legdrop and Crowley delivers one. Crowley slowly goes for the cover…1,2…and a near fall.
Hell-He isn't going to beat him like that!"
Neal Steal-"What do you mean he made a mistake? What did he forget to do?"
David Saturn-"I believe Hell is saying Crowley should have hooked the leg...I agree no matter how big you are every advantage is paramount..."
Crowley pushes Romeo into the corner and delivers a hard headbutt. Kick to the ribs and another headbutt. Crowley then grabs Damascus by the throat in a blatant chokehold. Crowley breaks the referees count at 4 and gives the ref a cold stare. Crowley then whips Damascus off the ropes, Damascus ducks a clothesline attempt but as he rebounds again Crowley catches him by the throat!
Hell-"NICE! ALMOST LIKE THE ONE I GAVE TO YOU STEAL!"
Neal Steal-"Almost broke my poor neck just grabbing me round the throat never mind the chokeslam you gave me..."
David Saturn-"Damascus certainly has a lot of resilience...once again manages to slip away from Crowley's grasp..."
There does not seem to be any escape for Damascus as Crowley goes for the chokeslam! However Damascus suddenly slips away as Crowley lifts him and kicks Crowley in the ribs. Neckbreaker by Damascus and goes for the cover…actually at the last moment he changes his mind choosing to pummel on Crowley instead.
David Saturn-"What is Damascus thinking?"
Neal Steal-"He know the neckbreaker won't get a pinfall you fool. He's fully aware it will take more than that..."
David Saturn-"I'm referring to this sudden assault. Damascus looks demented...we hear rumours he has a horrific temper..."
Neal Steal-"You just don't like him Saturn because he's a lover of art and fine wine. If he was some drunken bar brawler you would love him..."
David Saturn-"Its got nothing to do with his interests. If this is his idea of art its twisted..."
Hell-"There are many forms of art! It is whatever the seeker is seeking in the form!"
Damascus has an almost psychotic look on his face seemingly on the verge of losing his cool here…
Club to the back as Crowley gets to his knees but Damascus places him neck first over the bottom rope. Crowley rises however so Damascus blatantly chokes Crowley over the top rope. As with Crowley earlier the referee again breaks the blatant choke at 4. Damascus then charges off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and kicks Crowley in the ribs. Damascus goes for another neckbreaker but Crowley blocks seemingly going for a suplex.
David Saturn-"Have you ever come across any smaller men who seem deceptively strong Hell? That seems to be the case with Damascus..."
Hell-"Everyday in my career! You can never measure a man by size but more by stamina!"
Neal Steal-"He's intelligent and powerful all the attributes that would make him a fine champion for the AWR!"
Hell-"Yes he would but then again so would I for that matter.....that is if I was fit enough to compete....however at the present moment I am not!"
Damascus is stronger than his size would suggest and manages to fight off the suplex. Crowley tries to hang Damascus over the top rope instead but Romeo manages to land feet first on the apron. Crowley nails him with a hard punch and another as Damascus holds onto the top rope for support.
Neal Steal-"Great counter! Beautiful technical wrestling by Damascus!"
David Saturn-"Yes one of the rare instances of technical expertise he has delivered thus far..."
Hell-"Well i guess if that impresees you!"
Neal Steal-"You're just threatened by his intellectual superiority. If this match was judged on brains Damascus would have won in 5 seconds..."
David Saturn-"How exactly can you make a comment like that without even knowing the man?"
Neal Steal-"He's nuts...he thinks he's an acolyte for the devil...oh sorry Hell I forgot again you were one as well..."
Hell-"What do you mean was?"
David Saturn-"Please chokeslam him through this table Hell...for me please?"
Crowley then grabs Damascus by the neck again but Romeo counters dropping Crowley neck first on the top rope. Damascus goes for the cover this time, hooks the leg…1,2…and Crowley kicks out. Damascus looking more and more furious gives Crowley no time to breathe hitting him with a blow to the back.
David Saturn-"Well there's nothing wrong with Crowley's lungs! First sign of any real emotion we have seen from him so far in this contest...
Neal Steal-"Damascus has so much heart...this will go down as a masterpiece to rival David vs Goliath!"
Damascus then applies a rear naked choke but Crowley suddenly lets out a primal yell and lifts Damascus into the air! Damascus quickly slips away and lands on his feet refusing to let go of Crowley grabbing him in a headlock. 3 shots to the ribs by Romeo and Damascus suddenly wraps his legs around Crowley’s head seemingly looking for a headscissors takedown.
David Saturn-"Headscissors! Crowley has to make sure Damascus does not roll him into a pinning predicament here..."
Hell-"That true Crowley better be careful!"
Neal Steal-"The bigger they are, the harder they fall!"
David Saturn-"Where did you get that from the tired old cliches handbook?"
Hell-"Probably from his 80 year old mother Saturn!"
Damascus is struggling to take Crowley down. Neither man is willing to let go. Crowley then charges forward as Damascus continues to hold on. Crowley rams Romeo back first into the turnbuckle. Damascus is still on his feet as Crowley punches him in the face twice. Punch to the face by Damascus in response and goes to whip Crowley into the corner.
David Saturn-Tremendous main event here tonight...lets hope this is the kind of action we get each and every week here in the AWR!"
Hell-"Well these two guys are giving it there all! So far i am impressed!"
Neal Steal-"Must be upsetting for you Hell having to miss out on all the action? Do you think you can try and stay at ringside for the rest of this match?"
Hell-"Well if your leaving anytime soon Steal I just may be able to refrain from puking! So take that as a yes!"
Crowley reverses and whips Damascius into the corner. As Crowley charges Damascus catches him in the face with his elbow. Damascus climbs as far as the middle rope and leaps off. Crowley meets him with a boot catching Romeo in the jaw. Crowley hooks the leg…1,2…and a near fall as Romeo kicks out.
David Saturn-"Damascus dragging himself into the corner...and Crowley is on the charge!"
Hell-"This don't look good!"
Neal Steal-"He's still on his feet! You have to give Damascus credit for that..."
David Saturn-"You're right but I can't help but feel there's something not quite right mentally with this guy...just an uneasy feeling...just the violence in Romeo's eyes..."
Romeo drags himself into the corner for a breather which wasn’t the best decision. Crowley charges forward with a clothesline with Romeo somehow managing to stay on his feet. Crowley repeats the move and then kicks Romeo in the ribs before signalling for the JACKKNIFE!
Neal Steal-"Oh now he's trying a powerbomb another move you use Hell...you shouldn't stand for it..."
David Saturn-"He's just trying to get you to interfere Hell because for whatever reason Steal's taken a shine to Damascus. Don't fall for what he's trying to do..."
Hell-"Don't worry Saturn because if I did both of those guys would be out cold and the main event would be over!"
Damascus manages to block the move by twisting in mid air so Crowley drops him head first across the top turnbuckle instead. Crowley then charges off the ropes and damn near decapitates Romeo with a big boot. Legdrop by Crowley and goes for the cover…1,2…and Damascus manages to get his shoulder up. Credit to Damascus not many would have been able to kick out of a big boot like that followed by the legdrop.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha! Now Crowley's getting frustrated! Always the downfall of big oafs like Crowley when they lose their temper..."
Hell-You would know wouldn't you Steal I am sure you feel the effects of those big oafs losing their temper everyday!"
David Saturn-"There goes the referee...Damascus caught him with his boot...on purpose?"
Neal Steal-"That looked like an accident to me..."
Crowley shows slight signs of frustration as the camera focuses closeup. Crowley signals for the chokeslam again and lifts Damascus up! However the referee is knocked down as Damascus swings his leg in mid air trying to escape. The ref is down briefly stunned as Crowley lifts Damascus up for another chokeslam!
David Saturn-"Wait its Red Randal! He's got a chair!
Hell-"Damn that guy loves chairs! He must have a fetish going on!"
Neal Steal-"Heart punch! Yahoo! Come on Romeo!"
Suddenly RED RANDAL nails Crowley from behind with a CHAIR! Crowley is staggered and drops Damascus. Damascus charges off the ropes nailing Crowley with the HEART PUNCH!!!
Randal is halfway back up the ramp as Damascus goes for the cover…1,2…3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: ROMEO DAMASCUS
David Saturn-"This lowlife has completely ruined the main event!"
Hell-"Well at least Randal set out to do what he failed to do at the start of the show and that was hurt someone!"
Neal Steal-"I'm sure Romeo will have kicked out of the chokeslam anyway...
David Saturn-"Don't be ridiculous! I know he showed some resilience but it would have taken a miracle to kick out of a chokeslam from a man Crowley's size...
Hell-"Even I can't say if i could have and look at my size!"
David Saturn-"You know I bet Romeo won't be to happy about this. If there's anything an artist...or so called artists hate its someone trampling all over their canvas! Thats exactly what Randal did..."
Neal Steal-"Romeo won't be happy because he is a man of honor and integrity! Trampling all over his canvas whatever that means has nothing to do with it!"
Hell-Well he should be glad Randal interfered because he would probably be laying on his back right about now otherwise!"
Neal Steal-"Its your fault Hell if you hadn't taken a chair away from Randal earlier maybe he wouldn't have hit Crowley with one! If there's anyone Crowley should be angry with its you!"
David Saturn-"One thing is guaranteed and that is Crowley will be after Randal's blood! See you next week live on CRASH Tv!"
LIVE!
HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM, NEW YORK
ATT: SELLOUT 2,500
ATT: SELLOUT 2,500
The night opens with no intro music as the spotlight shines on the ring. Inside are the commentators for the AWR David Saturn and Neal Steal.
David Saturn-We are LIVE from New York for the debut of the AWR! I'm David Saturn and of course you all know who this man is...
Neal Steal-"Indeed a man who unlike yourself needs no introduction! Must say a new commentary partner would have been preferred won't enjoy working with you again..."
David Saturn-"Lets just say the feeling is mutual...is this how its going to be or are we doing to try and actually call the matches?"
Neal Steal-"Just call it down the middle for once and I'm sure we will get on just fine."
David Saturn-"Laughable coming from you! Wait a moment Steal...is that Hell making his way to the ring?"
The monster Hell makes his way to the ring. While he's not exactly always been fan friendly the crowd seem very pleased to see him. Hell has a mic in hand...Saturn looks a little bemused while Steal looks terrified. The last time Steal was in a ring with Hell he got chokeslammed to hell...no pun intended...
David Saturn-"Well as you can evidently see Hell has decided to join us! Why are you out here now Hell?"
Hell-" I am here to do a little commentary"!!
Neal Steal-"What do you mean you're here to do commentary? That's ridiculous you have no experience! Its hard enough carrying Saturn through a live broadcast and he's been doing this for years!"
Hell-"Listen Steal at least I know what a corkscrew elbow is unlike you whom if Saturn there was to call that move you would think Saturn is talking about a screw to open a bottle of wine with. Now don,t you have someones ass to kiss so how about you run along and pucker up where you are needed!"
Neal Steal-"Well you can't just come out here and do as you please! You haven't even requested permission you can't condone this Saturn..."
David Saturn-" I certainly don't have a problem with you being out here Hell! Hey it might keep Steal quiet remember that chokeslam Hell gave you?"
Neal Steal-"Just about every time I get out of bed in the morning my back will never be the same..."
Hell-I bet it does Steal and don't you ever forget it! As for my being out here get used to it because until my injuries are fully healed I am your third man on this team now! Shut your face Steal and let Saturn do his job like he always does week after week by himself."
David Saturn-We will be right back in just a moment!
Awr CRASH Tv intro theme...
The scene cuts back to the empty ring as the announcers take their positions at the commentary table...
David Saturn-Lets go to the ring!
SINGLES MATCH
RED RANDAL VS BRET HARRIS
From Parts Unknown...Bret...HARRIS!!!
From Halifax, Canada...Red...RANDAL!!!
David Saturn-"Well here comes Red Randal a man who is not exactly going out of his way to make friends..."
Neal Steal-"Well personally I agree with what he said about that Crowley. Last thing we need in wrestling is more devil worshiping nutcases...no offence Hell..."
Hell-"If your not careful Steal you may be the next sacrifice for those so called nutcases! Are you getting the message?"
David Saturn-"You're just asking for Hell to beat your ass Steal!"
As Randal enters the ring he begins yelling at the crowd for no apparent reason. He has his back turned away from Harris who attacks from behind. Clubbing blows to the back, irish whip attempt but Randal reverses and whips Harris into the near turnbuckle. Randal then delivers a clothesline and a clubbing blow to the back. Another clothesline by Randal as Harris attempts to fight back with a shot to the ribs. This has little effect and Randal whips Harris off the ropes and delivers a clubbing blow to the face.
David Saturn-"We have commentated on matches involving Harris before...more of a technical wrestler but nothing working so far against the brawling style of Randal..."
Hell-"Well Randall may be green but he seems to have a knowledge of Wrestling. Never under estimate Harris he is a tricky little sob and he can get the job done when he focuses and stays focused!"
David Saturn-"Hope you don't mind me for saying so Hell but sometimes trying technical stuff has been your downfall. A man of your size should be concentrating on a brawling style like Randal is doing. Seems to be working well for him and he's nowhere near as big as you are..."
Hell-"To be honest Saturn you are incorrect on that. I have won some of my biggest matches using technical skills but i just prefer to go out and hurt whoever stands in my way...but in some senses of what your saying Saturn you might have a bit of a fair point there!"
Neal Steal-"He just insulted you and all you can say he might have a fair point!"
David Saturn-"I was giving a honest viewpoint something you of all people would knowing nothing about..."
Randal with stomps to Harris and then drags him to his feet. Randal then knocks Harris down with a heavy blow to the chest. This is followed up with a blatant eyerake directly in front of the referee who admonishes Randal. Randal drags Harris back to his feet, irish whip off the ropes, dropdown by Randal as Harris leaps over him and as Harris rebounds he is nailed with a big boot to the face. Randal goes to the top rope and comes off with a flying clothesline. Randal is completely dominating Harris so far.
Neal Steal-"I'm impressed so far with Randal..."
David Saturn-"Well I'm sure he will be ecstatic that someone of your stature is impressed...highlight of his career no doubt..."
Neal Steal-"Shut up!"
Hell-"I wish you would take your own advice Steal..."
Randal then suddenly goes to the outside and picks up a chair. As he goes to enter the ring Hell comes up from behind and snatches the chair from him. As Randal argues furiously with Hell he fails to notice the referee making the 10 count! Randal only notices at the last moment but fails to get back in the ring fast enough. Despite the fact he would have been disqualified for blatant use of a chair Randal looks furious. He yells in anger at Hell on the outside who simply grins back at him. Randal looks like he might go after Hell but wisely shows some restraint (considering the size difference) and makes his way backstage. Harris stumbles to his feet still seemingly suffering the effects of the kick to the head…
Neal Steal-"Hell had no right to get involved! Where is he going now?"
David Saturn-"Backstage by the looks of it. I'm a bit confused with Hell's actions though with this apparent nice guy act."
Neal Steal-"I'll tell him you said that if he comes back out here!"
David Saturn-"Go ahead but at least Hell has been honest about what he is in the past. Right now I'm simply not buying into this apparent compassion...its hardly like Hell and Harris have been buddies in the past.
Neal Steal-"So you think he should violently attack people then? Should he have chokeslammed them both is that what you want...you love violence Saturn that's why you're here for the blood and guts..."
David Saturn-"I'm here as a wrestling fan. If he brutally attacks you though I wouldn't be complaining! He should just be true to himself that's all...a monster is what he is and there's no changing that..."
WINNER BY COUNTOUT: BRET HARRIS
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David Saturn-"Welcome back to the debut of Awr CRASH Tv!"
Neal Steal-"What is Hell doing back there..."
The cameras cut to the back stage area where we see Hell inserting money in a soda machine and purchasing a bottle of water. As the change falls through the machine dispenses the water. Hell reaches down and picks up the bottle of water. As he is about to open it there is a ruckus a short distance from where Hell is standing. As the camera switches location to another one we see Rusty Axel and Rattle Snake standing nose to nose. Both men look fuming mad and as Hell ventures into view of the camera we hear him speak.
(Hell)
What the matter boys? Got your panties in a wedgie?
Hell smirks but neither Rattle Snake or Rusty think he is funny. Snake flips Hell the finger and Rusty tells Hell to kiss his ass but neither man looks away from the other. Hell glares at both of them. Then s smirk crosses his face.
(Hell)
Listen since you two have an issue with each other why don,t you both settle this like grown men. I have the perfect solution for both of you your match is next how about settling it in the ring?
Rattlesnake and Axel both glare at Hell as he walks away...
Neal Steal-"Well what a fantastic professional Hell is! Leaves because he's thirsty and then starts lecturing people backstage! Even you aren't buying into this Hell the peacemaker act..."
David Saturn-"You never wanted him here in the first place you just love to moan don't you Steal? Oh look here he comes..."
Neal Steal-"If he insists on doing commentary then he should stay at ringside. We have to stay here for the whole broadcast he should be made to do the same..."
David Saturn-"Nobody could force Hell to do anything..."
Hell retakes his seat at the announcing table as we go to the next match...
SINGLES MATCH
RUSTY AXEL VS RATTLESNAKE
Before the introductions begin both men suddenly appear brawling on the ramp!
Neal Steal-"Well looks like your chat had a tremendous effect Hell...so much for settling it in the ring..."
Hell-Hey both these guys are ring vets ok so whatever they choose to do they will be the only ones to suffer the effects afterwards.
David Saturn-"Well they are getting closer...oh wait Rusty Axel just decked the referee!"
Both men ram each other face first into the ringsteps and exchange a violent series of punches. Referees rush out trying to stop the 2 men as Axel nails Rattlesnake with a chair. Another shot and another...Rattlesnake looks like he has been busted open. Axel then begins to bite rattlesnakes forehead seemingly wanting a taste of his blood. More officials come out and eventually manage to separate the 2 men!
David Saturn-Well it looks like the officials are going to judge this as a no contest. Never got going and Rattlesnake does not look to be in a fit state to continue here...
WINNER: NO CONTEST
Hell-See that is why you try to settle things in the ring. I am sure Rattle Snake will be feeling the effects of this for weeks to come. Rusty isn't what i would call a sloutch but then i guess Rattle Snake isn't either!
Neal Steal-"Planning to stay out here during the commercial Hell or planning to take another quick break..."
Hell-"Only if I have to run to the washroom. Kidney injuries will do that steal."
Neal Steal-Saturn has irritable bowel syndrome you don't see him running backstage..."
David Saturn-"I do not have IBS...though you certainly have diarrhea of the mouth with all this crap you're coming out with! We will be right back in just a moment!"
Hell-Saturn has that disorder because he works so closely with an ass lick like you Steal! That would make anyone have the runs!
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MAIN EVENT
SINGLES MATCH
CROWLEY VS ROMEO DAMASCUS
From Warwick, England...Mr...CROWLEY!!!
From Damascus, Italy...Romeo...DAMASCUS!!!
Neal Steal-"I like the look of this Damascus. How nice to see someone who seems to appreciate culture joining the AWR...he's from Italy too just like Mr Megala..."
David Saturn-"Wondered how long it would be until you brought up your heroes name. Silvio Megala one of the majority shareholders in AWR here by the way..."
Neal Steal-"So you should show him a little more respect than you have in the past..."
David Saturn"You're the ass kisser around here not me..."
Hell-The only respect he will get from me is my size fourteen straight up his ass like he got the last time he stepped in the ring with me. Kinda like the same treatment I dished out to you Steal and I hope there isn't a day that goes by that you won't remember your ass kicking either.
The bell rings and we are underway! Both men taking their time to lock up here thinking about their first move. Damascus charges forward and Crowley meets him with a stiff kick to the ribs. Crowley with a shot to the face of Romeo and backs him into the corner. Crowley whips Damascus into the opposite corner and charges forward.
David Saturn-"Huge man Crowley almost..."
Neal Steal-"Oh tremendous insight there Saturn..."
David Saturn-"Shut up! As I was about to say he's almost as big as you isn't he Hell?"
Hell-"Good point there Saturn. There is just one difference though. He is not me AND HIS SIZE WOULDN'T MEASURE UP TO WHAT I CAN DISH OUT IN AND OUT OF THE RING!"
David Saturn-"Well yes that's true size isn't everything you need to have some real heart to make it in the wrestling business...and nobody can deny your success Hell..."
Neal Steal-"You're the one kissing ass here sucking up to Hell all night..."
As he does so Damascus raises his feet catching Crowley in the face. Crowley staggers for a moment but as Damascus charges off the ropes Crowley nails him with a hard clothesline. As Damascus gets right back up Crowley motions for a chokeslam which Damascus avoids by quickly rolling to the outside.
Neal Steal-"Are you not upset about that Hell? He's going for a chokeslam you use that..."
David Saturn-"Yes as you found out to your cost! Ha!"
Hell-"OK THATS FAIR BUT YOUR MISSING THE POINT! I ALSO USE A CLAW HOLD AS A SUBMISSION AS WELL AS MY MAIN FINISHER THE HELL PLEX! THATS JUST ONE OF MY MOVES HE IS MIMICING! HOWEVER HE HIT THAT ONE WITH PERFECTION!"
David Saturn-"I think Steal has a point for once Crowley does have some very similar mannerisms to you Hell inside the ring..."
As Damascus rises back to his feet Crowley reaches over the top rope grabbing Damascus by the hair. Romeo responds by taking out Crowley’s legs dragging him to the outside and suddenly lets loose with a frenetic series of punches. Damascus tries to whip Crowley into the steps but the stronger Crowley reverses and whips Damascus back first into the barricade.
David Saturn-"Crowley has a colossal size advantage over Damascus...the key thing here is durability not artistry...and I can't say we have seen anything of beauty from Romeo this far..."
Hell-"Hey never under estimate any wrestler in the sport because anyone can beat anyone else on any given day! That is the key to beauty!"
Neal Steal-"I don't think Romeo is used to this kind of treatment..."
Damascus is in some discomfort after that shot to the back. The referee isn’t making the 10 count perhaps taking a liberty but also wanting a clear pinfall or submission winner after the first couple of matches. Finally the ref does begin a 10 count and Crowley quickly throws Damascus back into the ring.
Hell-"Well with the names signing up on the roster he had better get used to it because guys like red randal, rattle snake, bret harris and rusty axel are not going to lay down for him just from what I have seen out of them tonight! Now so far the man hasn't done anything that is effecting crowley!"
David Saturn-Fully agree nothing Damascus seems to be doing has any effect...are you sure you have never heard of Crowley? He seems to move in similar underground circles to yourself...
Hell-"Well not to my knowledge but you never no because he could have been under a mask or another assumed name like many wrestlers will do when moving from one organization to another!"
Neal Steal-"Hey he's an artist...let go of the arm he needs that to produce his fine art!"
Crowley has Damascus by the arm stretching presumably hoping to hyper-extend the elbow. Crowley yanks hard on the arm forcing Damascus down to his knees briefly. Crowley then rams Damascus hard shoulder first into the ringpost. Damascus gets back to his feet as Crowley charges forward clotheslining Romeo over the top rope.
Neal Steal-"Poke to the eye never fails no matter how big you are!"
David Saturn"Hardly the beauty we have been led to believe Damascus was going to mesmerise us all with is it? So far he's used nothing but cheap brawling tactics..."
Hell-"Well give him credit at least for having a game plan!"
Damascus lands hard on his back as Crowley takes a quick breather. As Crowley moves forward Damascus pokes him in the eye. Crowley responds with an elbow to the face with Damascus landing on the apron. This is the ideal position for a legdrop and Crowley delivers one. Crowley slowly goes for the cover…1,2…and a near fall.
Hell-He isn't going to beat him like that!"
Neal Steal-"What do you mean he made a mistake? What did he forget to do?"
David Saturn-"I believe Hell is saying Crowley should have hooked the leg...I agree no matter how big you are every advantage is paramount..."
Crowley pushes Romeo into the corner and delivers a hard headbutt. Kick to the ribs and another headbutt. Crowley then grabs Damascus by the throat in a blatant chokehold. Crowley breaks the referees count at 4 and gives the ref a cold stare. Crowley then whips Damascus off the ropes, Damascus ducks a clothesline attempt but as he rebounds again Crowley catches him by the throat!
Hell-"NICE! ALMOST LIKE THE ONE I GAVE TO YOU STEAL!"
Neal Steal-"Almost broke my poor neck just grabbing me round the throat never mind the chokeslam you gave me..."
David Saturn-"Damascus certainly has a lot of resilience...once again manages to slip away from Crowley's grasp..."
There does not seem to be any escape for Damascus as Crowley goes for the chokeslam! However Damascus suddenly slips away as Crowley lifts him and kicks Crowley in the ribs. Neckbreaker by Damascus and goes for the cover…actually at the last moment he changes his mind choosing to pummel on Crowley instead.
David Saturn-"What is Damascus thinking?"
Neal Steal-"He know the neckbreaker won't get a pinfall you fool. He's fully aware it will take more than that..."
David Saturn-"I'm referring to this sudden assault. Damascus looks demented...we hear rumours he has a horrific temper..."
Neal Steal-"You just don't like him Saturn because he's a lover of art and fine wine. If he was some drunken bar brawler you would love him..."
David Saturn-"Its got nothing to do with his interests. If this is his idea of art its twisted..."
Hell-"There are many forms of art! It is whatever the seeker is seeking in the form!"
Damascus has an almost psychotic look on his face seemingly on the verge of losing his cool here…
Club to the back as Crowley gets to his knees but Damascus places him neck first over the bottom rope. Crowley rises however so Damascus blatantly chokes Crowley over the top rope. As with Crowley earlier the referee again breaks the blatant choke at 4. Damascus then charges off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and kicks Crowley in the ribs. Damascus goes for another neckbreaker but Crowley blocks seemingly going for a suplex.
David Saturn-"Have you ever come across any smaller men who seem deceptively strong Hell? That seems to be the case with Damascus..."
Hell-"Everyday in my career! You can never measure a man by size but more by stamina!"
Neal Steal-"He's intelligent and powerful all the attributes that would make him a fine champion for the AWR!"
Hell-"Yes he would but then again so would I for that matter.....that is if I was fit enough to compete....however at the present moment I am not!"
Damascus is stronger than his size would suggest and manages to fight off the suplex. Crowley tries to hang Damascus over the top rope instead but Romeo manages to land feet first on the apron. Crowley nails him with a hard punch and another as Damascus holds onto the top rope for support.
Neal Steal-"Great counter! Beautiful technical wrestling by Damascus!"
David Saturn-"Yes one of the rare instances of technical expertise he has delivered thus far..."
Hell-"Well i guess if that impresees you!"
Neal Steal-"You're just threatened by his intellectual superiority. If this match was judged on brains Damascus would have won in 5 seconds..."
David Saturn-"How exactly can you make a comment like that without even knowing the man?"
Neal Steal-"He's nuts...he thinks he's an acolyte for the devil...oh sorry Hell I forgot again you were one as well..."
Hell-"What do you mean was?"
David Saturn-"Please chokeslam him through this table Hell...for me please?"
Crowley then grabs Damascus by the neck again but Romeo counters dropping Crowley neck first on the top rope. Damascus goes for the cover this time, hooks the leg…1,2…and Crowley kicks out. Damascus looking more and more furious gives Crowley no time to breathe hitting him with a blow to the back.
David Saturn-"Well there's nothing wrong with Crowley's lungs! First sign of any real emotion we have seen from him so far in this contest...
Neal Steal-"Damascus has so much heart...this will go down as a masterpiece to rival David vs Goliath!"
Damascus then applies a rear naked choke but Crowley suddenly lets out a primal yell and lifts Damascus into the air! Damascus quickly slips away and lands on his feet refusing to let go of Crowley grabbing him in a headlock. 3 shots to the ribs by Romeo and Damascus suddenly wraps his legs around Crowley’s head seemingly looking for a headscissors takedown.
David Saturn-"Headscissors! Crowley has to make sure Damascus does not roll him into a pinning predicament here..."
Hell-"That true Crowley better be careful!"
Neal Steal-"The bigger they are, the harder they fall!"
David Saturn-"Where did you get that from the tired old cliches handbook?"
Hell-"Probably from his 80 year old mother Saturn!"
Damascus is struggling to take Crowley down. Neither man is willing to let go. Crowley then charges forward as Damascus continues to hold on. Crowley rams Romeo back first into the turnbuckle. Damascus is still on his feet as Crowley punches him in the face twice. Punch to the face by Damascus in response and goes to whip Crowley into the corner.
David Saturn-Tremendous main event here tonight...lets hope this is the kind of action we get each and every week here in the AWR!"
Hell-"Well these two guys are giving it there all! So far i am impressed!"
Neal Steal-"Must be upsetting for you Hell having to miss out on all the action? Do you think you can try and stay at ringside for the rest of this match?"
Hell-"Well if your leaving anytime soon Steal I just may be able to refrain from puking! So take that as a yes!"
Crowley reverses and whips Damascius into the corner. As Crowley charges Damascus catches him in the face with his elbow. Damascus climbs as far as the middle rope and leaps off. Crowley meets him with a boot catching Romeo in the jaw. Crowley hooks the leg…1,2…and a near fall as Romeo kicks out.
David Saturn-"Damascus dragging himself into the corner...and Crowley is on the charge!"
Hell-"This don't look good!"
Neal Steal-"He's still on his feet! You have to give Damascus credit for that..."
David Saturn-"You're right but I can't help but feel there's something not quite right mentally with this guy...just an uneasy feeling...just the violence in Romeo's eyes..."
Romeo drags himself into the corner for a breather which wasn’t the best decision. Crowley charges forward with a clothesline with Romeo somehow managing to stay on his feet. Crowley repeats the move and then kicks Romeo in the ribs before signalling for the JACKKNIFE!
Neal Steal-"Oh now he's trying a powerbomb another move you use Hell...you shouldn't stand for it..."
David Saturn-"He's just trying to get you to interfere Hell because for whatever reason Steal's taken a shine to Damascus. Don't fall for what he's trying to do..."
Hell-"Don't worry Saturn because if I did both of those guys would be out cold and the main event would be over!"
Damascus manages to block the move by twisting in mid air so Crowley drops him head first across the top turnbuckle instead. Crowley then charges off the ropes and damn near decapitates Romeo with a big boot. Legdrop by Crowley and goes for the cover…1,2…and Damascus manages to get his shoulder up. Credit to Damascus not many would have been able to kick out of a big boot like that followed by the legdrop.
Neal Steal-"Ha ha! Now Crowley's getting frustrated! Always the downfall of big oafs like Crowley when they lose their temper..."
Hell-You would know wouldn't you Steal I am sure you feel the effects of those big oafs losing their temper everyday!"
David Saturn-"There goes the referee...Damascus caught him with his boot...on purpose?"
Neal Steal-"That looked like an accident to me..."
Crowley shows slight signs of frustration as the camera focuses closeup. Crowley signals for the chokeslam again and lifts Damascus up! However the referee is knocked down as Damascus swings his leg in mid air trying to escape. The ref is down briefly stunned as Crowley lifts Damascus up for another chokeslam!
David Saturn-"Wait its Red Randal! He's got a chair!
Hell-"Damn that guy loves chairs! He must have a fetish going on!"
Neal Steal-"Heart punch! Yahoo! Come on Romeo!"
Suddenly RED RANDAL nails Crowley from behind with a CHAIR! Crowley is staggered and drops Damascus. Damascus charges off the ropes nailing Crowley with the HEART PUNCH!!!
Randal is halfway back up the ramp as Damascus goes for the cover…1,2…3!!!
WINNER BY PINFALL: ROMEO DAMASCUS
David Saturn-"This lowlife has completely ruined the main event!"
Hell-"Well at least Randal set out to do what he failed to do at the start of the show and that was hurt someone!"
Neal Steal-"I'm sure Romeo will have kicked out of the chokeslam anyway...
David Saturn-"Don't be ridiculous! I know he showed some resilience but it would have taken a miracle to kick out of a chokeslam from a man Crowley's size...
Hell-"Even I can't say if i could have and look at my size!"
David Saturn-"You know I bet Romeo won't be to happy about this. If there's anything an artist...or so called artists hate its someone trampling all over their canvas! Thats exactly what Randal did..."
Neal Steal-"Romeo won't be happy because he is a man of honor and integrity! Trampling all over his canvas whatever that means has nothing to do with it!"
Hell-Well he should be glad Randal interfered because he would probably be laying on his back right about now otherwise!"
Neal Steal-"Its your fault Hell if you hadn't taken a chair away from Randal earlier maybe he wouldn't have hit Crowley with one! If there's anyone Crowley should be angry with its you!"
David Saturn-"One thing is guaranteed and that is Crowley will be after Randal's blood! See you next week live on CRASH Tv!"