Post by crashtv on Aug 30, 2011 9:15:45 GMT -4
AWR CRASH TV #3
LIVE!
David Saturn-"We are live! I'm David Saturn joined by Neal Steal on a night where 3 wrestlers will be making their AWR in ring debuts!"
Neal Steal-"That's right one of those wrestlers will be Hell who "sadly" won't be joining us at the announce table this evening..."
David Saturn-"Yes that is sarcasm you detect from Steal...also making his debut will be international superstar Flammenkrieg..."
Neal Steal-"Plus in the main event Bret Harris will take on the man who he thinks assaulted him last week...his former partner in the Gathering...Robert Carr."
David Saturn-"Well here comes your "best friend" Steal!"
SINGLES MATCH
HELL VS RATTLESNAKE
From Hells Kitchen, Nova Scotia...HELL!!!
From Parts Unknown...RATTLESNAKE!!!
Neal Steal-"Rattlesnake looking for revenge here after Hell brutally assaulted him with a chair last week..."
David Saturn-"I do not believe for a second that was on purpose. If Hell had intended to hit Rattlesnake with a chair he would admit it. He certainly has no fear of rattlesnakes...either reptiles or wrestlers!"
Neal Steal-"Rattlesnake dominated his match last week and remember Hell is not at 100%..."
David Saturn-"Hell believes Rattlesnake knows that chair shot was not on purpose and that he is just looking for a pin. I agree with him...still after what Hell did at the end of our show last week goodness knows what he will be capable of when he's back at full fitness!"
Lockup…which may not have been the wisest decision by Rattlesnake considering Hell’s size. Hell backs Rattlesnake up against the ropes and delivers a hard headbutt. Punches by Hell and whips Rattlesnake off the ropes. Hell drops to the mat, Rattlesnake leaps over and as Snake rebounds Hell goes for an armdrag takedown. Snake however elbows Hell hard in the kidney area knowing he still isn’t at 100% due to kidney problems.
Neal Steal-"Rattlesnake is hitting Hell in the kidney...or at least where the kidney used to be! Ha ha ha ha!"
David Saturn-"Hell suffered a lacerated kidney a few months back and shots like that aren't going to help. Still this is Hell we are talking about he's as close to superhuman as you can get..."
Neal Steal-"Its so obvious you're biased and want Hell to win this match! What right did you have to disrespect Rattlesnake earlier this week at an untelevised event? How on earth can you criticise Rattlesnake for drinking yet you worshiped those 2 drunks the Badd Boyz in NIWF..."
David Saturn-"I just thought it was fairly obvious to anyone we won't be seeing Crowley again for a long time...if ever...shame really he was so impressive last week before he tried to take on Hell..."
Rattlesnake manages to take Hell down with an armdrag. Hell is back to his feet but Rattlesnake is powerful enough to knock the big man off his feet with the clothesline. Of course Hell may just have been winded by the blow to the kidney. Hell is back up again and Rattlesnake nails him with a dropkick to the kidney.
Neal Steal-"Hell will be looking for a kidney donor if he takes another shot like that..."
David Saturn-"Hell does not often show signs of discomfort but it is clearly bothering him..."
Scoop slam by Rattlesnake and Hell drags himself up in the corer clutching his kidney area. Punch by Rattlesnake to the injured area and Snake whips Hell into the opposite corner. Hell raises his feet catching Rattlesnake with his boot as he charges. Hell then climbs to his top rope as Rattlesnake is staggered and nails him with a flying clothesline!
David Saturn-"WOW! Incredible clothesline by Hell damn near decapitating Rattlesnake there!"
Neal Steal-"Hey don't you yell at me! Why is he yelling at me Saturn?"
David Saturn-"Why the hell not...no pun intended!"
Hell then motions to the crowd and yells something at Neal Steal which gets a loud cheer. Steal yells something back as Hell makes his way over to the ropes gesturing towards Steal. Rattlesnake comes from behind with a dropkick knocking Hell to the outside. Rattlesnake then rams Hell head first into the announce table. Hell responds with an elbow and grabs Steal’s bottle of water.
Neal Steal-"Hey!"
David Saturn-"Rattlesnake does not look thirsty...oh dear what was Rattlesnake thinking doing that?"
Hell tosses the water into Rattlesnake’s face. Rattlesnake responds by spitting in Hell’s face which may have been the most idiotic thing he could have done. Hell responds by kicking Rattlesnake in the face with a big boot. Rattlesnake staggers around as Hell moves towards Steal who quickly backs away. Hell picks up Steal’s chair but Rattlesnake goes for the timekeepers chair.
David Saturn-"Hell just took Steal's chair and this match is threatening to get out of control!"
Both men have their backs to each other. Both men turn around and swing at the same time crashing the chairs together. The referee calls for the bell signalling a double disqualification due to the obvious intent by both men. After a couple of blocks Hell swings his chair as hard as he can knocking Snake’s chair out of his hands. Hell then nails Rattlesnake with the chair over the head.
David Saturn-"Well that certainly wasn't accidental!"
Neal Steal-"Hell had no right to yell at me, steal my water and take my chair!"
David Saturn-"Well maybe you should have tried to physically restrain him...that would have been very entertaining!"
Rattlesnake goes back into the ring but Hell follows and delivers the CHOKESLAM! Rattlesnake is motionless as Hell climbs to the top rope getting a great ovation from the crowd.
WINNER: DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION
David Saturn-"Hell not victorious on his in ring AWR debut though he's certainly sent out another major message to the rest of the roster!"
Neal Steal-"Hell claimed he would feel some guilt if he left Rattlesnake laying. Yet look at him sucking up to the fans he does not have a conscience!"
David Saturn-"Hell has never sucked up to anyone! We will be right back in just a moment..."
Neal Steal-"Someone get me some more water! Its getting hot in here..."
David Saturn-"Just don't take off all your clothes! Or any for that matter!"
********************************************************************************************************
David Saturn-"Welcome back to CRASH Tv live from New York City!"
Neal Steal-"Hopefully we get a clear winner in the upcoming match..."
SINGLES MATCH
RUSTY AXEL VS FLAMMENKRIEG
From Parts Unknown...Rusty...AXEL!!!
From Berlin, Germany...FLAMMENKRIEG!!!
Deine Schuld blasts out of the PA system to a huge chorus of cheering from the fans. Wilhelm “Flammenkrieg” Kaast comes out with a prop AK-47…
Neal Steal-“What on earth is that he’s carrying?”
David Saturn-“That appears to be a AK-47 Steal…”
Neal Steal-“Not surprised you know I hear you have a collection of guns in your house…"
David Saturn-"First amendment rights Steal."
Flammenkrieg gives a searching look through the crowd before pulling the trigger, causing a huge jet of flames to spurt from the barrel…
Neal Steal-“He’s firing it! It’s a dangerous weapon for goodness sake he can’t be allowed to do that!”
David Saturn-“What’s wrong with it? He’s only using it as a pyro device…”
Neal Steal-“This is only a ballroom as well its unsafe to use pyrotechnics in here…”
David Saturn-“Well its not like a massive firework display for goodness sake. Its absolutely harmless…”
Neal Steal-“Guns aren’t harmless. They should never be accessible or exposed to the general public. Even simple handguns never mind dangerous weapons like this…”
Flammenkrieg marches to the ring, occasionally pulling the trigger on the gun, causes more pyros to erupt from the barrel…
Neal Steal-“He could easily trip or something and shoot in the wrong direction. Did you see those flames? It’s a fire hazard…”
David Saturn-“There’s nothing wrong with it you fool! What do you want him to use? A toy gun with a little bang flag coming out of it?”
Neal Steal-“No this is a family show and should not see guns utilised. That includes toy guns and especially this dangerous weapon he’s using!”
David Saturn-“We are not a family show and never will be!”
Flammenkrieg climbs into the ring, salutes his opponent and climbs to the top turnbuckle posing for the fans. He again pulls the trigger with another spurt of flames leaping from the gun…
Neal Steal-“What if he slipped and fell from the turnbuckle while he fires it? This is unsafe working conditions…”
David Saturn-"Oh don’t start that unsafe working conditions crap again! Had enough of that in the NIWF back in 2004! Anyway we have a match to call you know in that thing we call the ring Steal?”
Neal Steal-“Shut up! He’s handing that gun to the timekeeper I certainly wouldn’t have allowed him to put it under our table…”
David Saturn-“Oh and what you have done if he did? Beat him up…ha ha ha…”
Both men lockup and Flammenkrieg demonstrates his superior strength by shoving Rusty down to the mat with ease. Flammenkrieg poses and talks a little trash to Axel as he gets back to his feet. Flammenkrieg whips Rusty off the ropes and as Axel rebounds he is driven into the mat with a powerslam!
Flammenkrieg follows this up with an elbowdrop.
Neal Steal-“Show a bit more respect! He’s got no respect for safety and now he’s insulting his opponent…”
David Saturn-“Oh SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN GUN! It looks like he’s trying to encourage Rusty to me wants him to put up more of a fight than he’s showing so far…”
Flammenkrieg talks some more trash almost as if he is unimpressed with Axel’s efforts so far. Rusty is certainly being dominated as Flammenkrieg drops another big elbow. Stomp to the back by Flammenkrieg, whip off the ropes and Axel is driven into the mat with a SPINEBUSTER! Flammenkrieg puts Axel out of his misery as he makes the cover…1,2…3! Flammenkrieg raises his hands saluting the fans as he celebrates his victory.
WINNER BY PINFALL: FLAMMENKRIEG
David Saturn-“I think Flammenkrieg will face stiffer competitions and that’s what he probably wants. Still an impressive debut by Flammenkrieg he’s certainly an incredibly powerful man to be expected at his size I guess…”
Neal Steal-“Then he should stick to using intimidation in the ring. Rusty probably thought he might try and use that gun on him no wonder he didn’t put up much of a fight…”
David Saturn-“I hope he uses it on you if you don’t stop going on about it! We have to go for a commercial…”
Neal Steal-“Yes hopefully he won’t burn the building down with that weapon before we return…"
********************************************************************************************************
Neal Steal-"Where's my water!"
David Saturn-"Who cares! We have another match coming up now...and no they don't have a gun with them!"
SINGLES MATCH
JASON HOWARD VS RED RANDAL
From Halifax, Canada...Red...RANDAL!!!
From Gaithersburg, Maryland...Jason...HOWARD!!!
Lockup and Howard begins to twist on the arm of Randal. 3 punches to the face by Howard as he tries to hyper extend the arm of Randal. Howard motions to the crowd momentarily distracting himself as Randal nails him with right hands of his own. Randal then charges and knocks Howard down with a hard clubbing blow to the face.
Neal Steal-"That might knock some sense into Howard. He got a fluke win over Romeo last week and at an untelevised event he made some comments which were not even remotely funny...who finds diaper and testicle jokes amusing?"
David Saturn-"Well I don't see everything that goes on...I'm a busy man backstage at those televised events? Who told you anyway what went on were you not too busy sucking up over at Megala Enterprises as usual?
Howard rolls to the outside as Randal climbs to the top rope and begins abusing the crowd. Howard regains his bearings and both men lock up again. Randal backs Howard into the corner turnbuckle but Howard fights back with punches. Randal is now being backed into the corner taking several shots to the face and ribs. Randal isn’t doing the greatest job of covering up here as Howard gets in several shots…
David Saturn-"Randal needs to learn how to protect himself! Last week he raised a chair in front of his face not once bit twice...and paid fot it both times!"
Neal Steal-"Randal certainly needs a win...more pressure on Randal here tonight I believe..."
Kicks to the ribs by Howard who then whips Randal into the opposite corner. Howard follows up with a running clothesline knocking the wind out of Randal. Shot to the back as Randal clutches his ribs and and another punch to the face. Whip into the opposite corner by Howard but great counter by Randal as he catches Howard on the charge and nails him with a spinebuster.
Randal now has Howard on the mat and nails him with a flurry of punches to the face.
David Saturn-"Near fall! I don't know how resilient Howard is going to be. Randal does seem to have some resilience he managed to show some fight after Crowley looked like annihilating him at one stage."
Neal Steal-"Well this match seems far more even..."
Legdrop by Randal and the cover…1,2…shoulder up by Howard. Kick to the back by Randal followed by a shot to the head of Howard. Headbutt by Randal as he pulls Howard to his feet and then he rakes Howard across the face. Randal them insults the crowd again before charging at Howard. Mistake there by Randal giving Howard time to sidestep and pull the ropes causing Randal to crash to the outside.
David Saturn-"Jason Howard one of the first to bring out some AWR merchandise.."
Neal Steal-"What do you think about my branding idea...Steal's Steals!"
David Saturn-"I think that is just plain lame!"
Neal Steal-"Well they should listen. Howard's merchandise probably won't sell anyway they will need to use my name to clear out all the stock!"
Randal holds his back which he caught on the apron as he fell. Randal on his feet and Howard nails him with a baseball slide. Howard has Randal backed up against the barricade now and nails him with a shot to the ribs. Another punch by Howard before he tosses Randal back into the ring.
David Saturn-"Randal needs to work on his defensive techniques. The man simply does not cover up...and its not as if he can't defend himself..."
Neal Steal-"Well he just blocked that suplex attempt didn't he?"
Kick to the ribs by Howard and then he goes for a suplex. Randal fights it off and counters with a suplex of his own. Both men get back to their feet with both men exchanging punches. Randal gets the better of the fistfight and goes to whip Howard off the ropes. Howard reverses the whip and as Randal rebounds he is nailed wth a DDT!
David Saturn-"Howard taking his eyes away from his opponent again...almost cost him against Damascus last week who for some reason nailed the referee instead..."
Neal Steal-"Hearing we might not see Romeo here again...shame it was good to have someone of such intellect on AWR Tv! Back to the general lack of intelligence now..."
David Saturn-"Mostly your lack of intellect!"
Howard climbs to the top rope but takes too much time gesturing to the crowd. Randal launches himself off the ropes causing Howard a rather painful landing. Howard is crotched don the top rope and Randal delivers an insulting slap to the face. Randal then pokes Howard in the eye and blatantly chokes him over the top rope.
David Saturn-"Randal does not mind trying to take a few shortcuts. Nothing he won't do to bend the rules given the slightest opportunity..."
Neal Steal-"Howard really needs to keep this in the ring..."
Howard manages to break free but falls to the outside. Randal follows and rams Howard face first into the steel steps. Howard rolled back into the ring and Randal charges. Howard raises his elbow catching Randal in the face. Randal charges, Howard ducks an elbow and Randal accidentally nails the referee.
David Saturn-"Oh thats an original choice of weapon..."
Neal Steal-"Hurry up Randal!"
David Saturn-"How can you be so 2 faced? Randal goes for a chair its ok...if its Hell you moan and complain..."
Randal ducks a ferocious clothesline attempt and nails Howard with a blatant low blow. Randal quickly goes to the outside and goes for his usual choice of weapon…a steel chair. Randal whacks Howard across the back with the chair. DOUBLE ARMED DDT by Randal right on the chair! Randal makes the cover disposing of the evidence as the referee regains his bearings…1,2…3!
WINNER BY PINFALL: RED RANDAL
David Saturn-"Randal gets his first win though certainly nothing to be proud of.."
Neal Steal-"Well he looks proud to me...I bet he does not care less what you think..."
David Saturn-Back with the main event after our last commercial...
********************************************************************************************************
MAIN EVENT
SINGLES MATCH
BRET HARRIS VS ROBERT CARR
From Dartmouth, Canada...Bret...HARRIS!!!
From Ontario, Canada...Robert...CARR!!!
David Saturn-“Former partners to collide in our main event here. Bret Harris and Robert Carr were part of a group called The Gathering in the past but there is certainly no alliance here after last week…”
Neal Steal-“All Robert Carr has asked for is a fair chance everywhere he’s been. He comes to AWR and he’s being blamed for something he didn’t even do…he has every right to be upset…”
David Saturn-“This guy would be upset no matter what. He was such a natural whiner and complainer in the past nothing appears to have changed…”
Neal Steal-Because of this obvious setup conspiracy against him.
Carr charges at Harris…considering the fact Harris was the one assaulted it seems surprising Carr is the one who seems angrier. Still if Carr is telling the truth there’s few things more infuriating than false accusations. Harris sidesteps as Carr tries to take out the leg. Carr dives in again headfirst and gets a kick in the head from Harris.
David Saturn-“Harris going after the head of Carr here. Considering it is most likely Carr who put several stitches in the heard of Harris last week no surprise that’s what he’s targeting…”
Neal Steal-“Innocent until proven guilty. Even that oaf Hell agrees are you saying he’s wrong?”
David Saturn-“I don’t agree with Hell on everything. I just believe the evidence he was standing over Harris with a baseball bat for goodness sake. 2-Fly Kidd received a similar injury obviously at the hands of the same person…”
Club to the back of the head by Harris, whips Carr off the ropes, Harris misses a clothesline and Carr leverages himelf against the ropes and nails Harris with an elbow. Spinning heel kick by Carr and Harris knocked to the floor. Carr with a baseball slide after which he enters the ring to argue with the referee for no apparent reason. Carr them dives over the top rope with a somersault plancha taking Harris down!
David Saturn-“This match is not a no disqualification! Carr must have warned the referee to back off but this won’t be allowed…
Neal Steal-“I don’t blame Carr if he wants to take a shortcut. Screwed by promoters at every turn…”
David Saturn-Oh shut up! Are you kissing his ass now as well?”
Carr then looks under the ring and pulls out a table. Carr yells at the fans “I DIDN’T DO IT” as he sets up the table. However the loss of focus that has damaged his prospects so badly in the past gives Harris time to recover. Harris clubs Carr in the back and rolls him back into the ring. Exchange of fists now with Harris getting the better of the exchange. Whip into the corner turnbuckle by Harris which he follows up by nailing Carr with an elbow.
Neal Steal-“He was booked against a homosexual pervert who he had to sue for sexual harassment. He was booked against a retard don’t tell me Carr hasn’t been treated badly.”
David Saturn-“Its his attitude he thinks everything should be handed to him. His superiority complex, his whining and complaining,,,”
Scoop slam by Harris who climbs to the top rope. Harris leaps off dropping knees first across Carr’s chest…1,2…and Carr kicks out. Back to the top rope goes Harris but Carr is up and catches Bret with a punch. More punches as Harris remains perched on the turnbuckle. Carr climbs up and springs off the ropes taking Harris down with a hurricanrana!
David Saturn-“Carr is so paranoid he even accused Bret of faking his injury. I assure all of you nothing was fake about the stitches he received…”
Neal Steal-“Carr chased off the hooded attacker he saw. Harris could have been hurt much worse.”
David Saturn-“Oh and he just happened to be carrying a baseball bat with him! Only he claims to have seen an attacker!”
Neal Steal-“He had it signed by a major baseball star. He had simply gone to show it off to Harris. I don’t think Carr humbles himself by asking for autographs he probably intended it as a gift for Harris…”
David Saturn-“What a load of crap…”
Neal Steal-“Well could you blame him if he carries a baseball bat everywhere he goes? He’s been stabbed in the back time and time again he probably had it to protect himself and instead he ended up protecting Harris…”
1,2…and Harris kicks out. elbowdrop by Carr and another cover…1,2…and Harris kicks out. Carr yells at the referee no doubt in Carr’s mind another guy in on the mass conspiracy against him. Stomps and punches by Carr, whips Harris into the corner and springs off the ropes again. However Carr misses with the flying elbow and Harris catches him with a boot to the face.
Neal Steal-“You will be apologising to Carr when he proves his innocence…
David Saturn-“I will apologise to him if he is right OK? Not for all the other conspiracy nonsense he’s fabricated but if he didn’t attack Harris I’ll admit I was wrong about that. Still the evidence points to Carr you are just gullible enough to take Carr’s word for it…”
Neal Steal”I’ve suffered at the hands of one of his main tormentors in the past. I know how he must have felt…Carr has all the skills he just needs people to be fair to him…”
Harris gestures to the crowd and climbs to the top rope. The fans are certainly on the side of Harris here. Carr quickly gets up however and carries Harris with a shot to the ribs. Harris however stuns Carr with an incredible flying clothesline knocking him right over the ropes! Carr manages to avoid falling to the outside holding onto the apron.
David Saturn-“I guess Carr will moan about knocked over the top rope now. After all that used to be an automatic DQ in some places years back…
Neal Steal-“Oh shut up! His complaints have been legitimate! Every single one!”
David Saturn-“About time he looked in the mirror if he wants to know who’s truly to blame for his limited success…”
Carr gets to his feet holding the ropes to support himself but Harris nails him with a martial arts kick. This time Carr can’t avoid dropping to the outside. Harris then leaps over the top rope with a crossbody! Harris rolls Carr back into the ring but Carr surprises him with a low dropkick. Stomps by Carr and a punch as Harris gets back to his feet. Whip by Carr, reversed by Harris who then nails Carr in the corner with a running knee to the ribs…
David Saturn-“Harris looking for his first win in AWR. He beat Red Randal by countout on our debut show…”
Neal Steal-“Thanks to Hell sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong…”
David Saturn-“Then of course the events last week took place. Harris looking for his first pinfall victory…Carr looking for his first victory in AWR!”
Neal Steal-“Only because its his debut you’re talking as if he’s been on a losing streak…”
David Saturn-“No I wasn’t!”
Scoop slam by Harris who then climbs to the top rope and comes off with a moonsault! Harris is a little slow to the cover…1,2…and Carr gets his shoulder up! Harris wastes too much time contemplating what to do next and Carr gets to his feet. Harris then charges and Carr sidesteps throwing Harris over the top rope.
Neal Steal-“Harris is supposed to be a technician yet he’s trying to take it to the outside…he knows he can’t outwrestle Carr…”
David Saturn-“Carr with a hurricanrana! Now Carr’s looking at the table…how can you accuse Harris of wanting this to turn into a total brawl. He hasn’t brought out weapons…”
Neal Steal-“He’s shown no intent…”
David Saturn-“Just because he hasn’t hit Harris with the damn thing does not mean it takes a genius to work out he wants to!”
Carr leaps over the ropes and nails Harris with another hurricanrana! Carr notices the table he removed from under the ring earlier and manages to set it up fully this time. Punch by Carr and he rolls Harris into position across the table. Hard shot to the chest by Carr who climbs up on the apron. However the referee calls for the bell counting both men out! Carr is incensed accusing the ref of a fast count!
WINNER: DOUBLE COUNTOUT
David Saturn-“He has no right to complain he’s lucky he wasn’t disqualified!”
Neal Steal-“Incoming!”
Carr leaps off the ropes with a springboard moonsault but does not break the table. Carr tries again with a splash from the apron and that does not cause it to break. Carr screams in frustration (nobody he can blame for that surely?) before finally trying a legdrop which does work sending Harris through the table.
Carr climbs into the crowd raising his arms aloft and abusing the fans around him. Harris may have been knocked out cold by that legdrop…
David Saturn-“Carr is a very unpopular man already! What right has he got to abuse our fans!”
Neal Steal-“They deserve all the abuse they get! Carr has every right to celebrate even if he didn’t win the match he’s the one leaving on his feet with dignity!”
David Saturn-“Carr has no dignity! Harris looks like he’s knocked out. This might only be the start of what this angry, bitter young man Rob Carr is capable of! See you next week live on CRASH Tv!”
LIVE!
HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM, NEW YORK
ATT: SELLOUT 2,500
ATT: SELLOUT 2,500
David Saturn-"We are live! I'm David Saturn joined by Neal Steal on a night where 3 wrestlers will be making their AWR in ring debuts!"
Neal Steal-"That's right one of those wrestlers will be Hell who "sadly" won't be joining us at the announce table this evening..."
David Saturn-"Yes that is sarcasm you detect from Steal...also making his debut will be international superstar Flammenkrieg..."
Neal Steal-"Plus in the main event Bret Harris will take on the man who he thinks assaulted him last week...his former partner in the Gathering...Robert Carr."
David Saturn-"Well here comes your "best friend" Steal!"
SINGLES MATCH
HELL VS RATTLESNAKE
From Hells Kitchen, Nova Scotia...HELL!!!
From Parts Unknown...RATTLESNAKE!!!
Neal Steal-"Rattlesnake looking for revenge here after Hell brutally assaulted him with a chair last week..."
David Saturn-"I do not believe for a second that was on purpose. If Hell had intended to hit Rattlesnake with a chair he would admit it. He certainly has no fear of rattlesnakes...either reptiles or wrestlers!"
Neal Steal-"Rattlesnake dominated his match last week and remember Hell is not at 100%..."
David Saturn-"Hell believes Rattlesnake knows that chair shot was not on purpose and that he is just looking for a pin. I agree with him...still after what Hell did at the end of our show last week goodness knows what he will be capable of when he's back at full fitness!"
Lockup…which may not have been the wisest decision by Rattlesnake considering Hell’s size. Hell backs Rattlesnake up against the ropes and delivers a hard headbutt. Punches by Hell and whips Rattlesnake off the ropes. Hell drops to the mat, Rattlesnake leaps over and as Snake rebounds Hell goes for an armdrag takedown. Snake however elbows Hell hard in the kidney area knowing he still isn’t at 100% due to kidney problems.
Neal Steal-"Rattlesnake is hitting Hell in the kidney...or at least where the kidney used to be! Ha ha ha ha!"
David Saturn-"Hell suffered a lacerated kidney a few months back and shots like that aren't going to help. Still this is Hell we are talking about he's as close to superhuman as you can get..."
Neal Steal-"Its so obvious you're biased and want Hell to win this match! What right did you have to disrespect Rattlesnake earlier this week at an untelevised event? How on earth can you criticise Rattlesnake for drinking yet you worshiped those 2 drunks the Badd Boyz in NIWF..."
David Saturn-"I just thought it was fairly obvious to anyone we won't be seeing Crowley again for a long time...if ever...shame really he was so impressive last week before he tried to take on Hell..."
Rattlesnake manages to take Hell down with an armdrag. Hell is back to his feet but Rattlesnake is powerful enough to knock the big man off his feet with the clothesline. Of course Hell may just have been winded by the blow to the kidney. Hell is back up again and Rattlesnake nails him with a dropkick to the kidney.
Neal Steal-"Hell will be looking for a kidney donor if he takes another shot like that..."
David Saturn-"Hell does not often show signs of discomfort but it is clearly bothering him..."
Scoop slam by Rattlesnake and Hell drags himself up in the corer clutching his kidney area. Punch by Rattlesnake to the injured area and Snake whips Hell into the opposite corner. Hell raises his feet catching Rattlesnake with his boot as he charges. Hell then climbs to his top rope as Rattlesnake is staggered and nails him with a flying clothesline!
David Saturn-"WOW! Incredible clothesline by Hell damn near decapitating Rattlesnake there!"
Neal Steal-"Hey don't you yell at me! Why is he yelling at me Saturn?"
David Saturn-"Why the hell not...no pun intended!"
Hell then motions to the crowd and yells something at Neal Steal which gets a loud cheer. Steal yells something back as Hell makes his way over to the ropes gesturing towards Steal. Rattlesnake comes from behind with a dropkick knocking Hell to the outside. Rattlesnake then rams Hell head first into the announce table. Hell responds with an elbow and grabs Steal’s bottle of water.
Neal Steal-"Hey!"
David Saturn-"Rattlesnake does not look thirsty...oh dear what was Rattlesnake thinking doing that?"
Hell tosses the water into Rattlesnake’s face. Rattlesnake responds by spitting in Hell’s face which may have been the most idiotic thing he could have done. Hell responds by kicking Rattlesnake in the face with a big boot. Rattlesnake staggers around as Hell moves towards Steal who quickly backs away. Hell picks up Steal’s chair but Rattlesnake goes for the timekeepers chair.
David Saturn-"Hell just took Steal's chair and this match is threatening to get out of control!"
Both men have their backs to each other. Both men turn around and swing at the same time crashing the chairs together. The referee calls for the bell signalling a double disqualification due to the obvious intent by both men. After a couple of blocks Hell swings his chair as hard as he can knocking Snake’s chair out of his hands. Hell then nails Rattlesnake with the chair over the head.
David Saturn-"Well that certainly wasn't accidental!"
Neal Steal-"Hell had no right to yell at me, steal my water and take my chair!"
David Saturn-"Well maybe you should have tried to physically restrain him...that would have been very entertaining!"
Rattlesnake goes back into the ring but Hell follows and delivers the CHOKESLAM! Rattlesnake is motionless as Hell climbs to the top rope getting a great ovation from the crowd.
WINNER: DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION
David Saturn-"Hell not victorious on his in ring AWR debut though he's certainly sent out another major message to the rest of the roster!"
Neal Steal-"Hell claimed he would feel some guilt if he left Rattlesnake laying. Yet look at him sucking up to the fans he does not have a conscience!"
David Saturn-"Hell has never sucked up to anyone! We will be right back in just a moment..."
Neal Steal-"Someone get me some more water! Its getting hot in here..."
David Saturn-"Just don't take off all your clothes! Or any for that matter!"
********************************************************************************************************
David Saturn-"Welcome back to CRASH Tv live from New York City!"
Neal Steal-"Hopefully we get a clear winner in the upcoming match..."
SINGLES MATCH
RUSTY AXEL VS FLAMMENKRIEG
From Parts Unknown...Rusty...AXEL!!!
From Berlin, Germany...FLAMMENKRIEG!!!
Deine Schuld blasts out of the PA system to a huge chorus of cheering from the fans. Wilhelm “Flammenkrieg” Kaast comes out with a prop AK-47…
Neal Steal-“What on earth is that he’s carrying?”
David Saturn-“That appears to be a AK-47 Steal…”
Neal Steal-“Not surprised you know I hear you have a collection of guns in your house…"
David Saturn-"First amendment rights Steal."
Flammenkrieg gives a searching look through the crowd before pulling the trigger, causing a huge jet of flames to spurt from the barrel…
Neal Steal-“He’s firing it! It’s a dangerous weapon for goodness sake he can’t be allowed to do that!”
David Saturn-“What’s wrong with it? He’s only using it as a pyro device…”
Neal Steal-“This is only a ballroom as well its unsafe to use pyrotechnics in here…”
David Saturn-“Well its not like a massive firework display for goodness sake. Its absolutely harmless…”
Neal Steal-“Guns aren’t harmless. They should never be accessible or exposed to the general public. Even simple handguns never mind dangerous weapons like this…”
Flammenkrieg marches to the ring, occasionally pulling the trigger on the gun, causes more pyros to erupt from the barrel…
Neal Steal-“He could easily trip or something and shoot in the wrong direction. Did you see those flames? It’s a fire hazard…”
David Saturn-“There’s nothing wrong with it you fool! What do you want him to use? A toy gun with a little bang flag coming out of it?”
Neal Steal-“No this is a family show and should not see guns utilised. That includes toy guns and especially this dangerous weapon he’s using!”
David Saturn-“We are not a family show and never will be!”
Flammenkrieg climbs into the ring, salutes his opponent and climbs to the top turnbuckle posing for the fans. He again pulls the trigger with another spurt of flames leaping from the gun…
Neal Steal-“What if he slipped and fell from the turnbuckle while he fires it? This is unsafe working conditions…”
David Saturn-"Oh don’t start that unsafe working conditions crap again! Had enough of that in the NIWF back in 2004! Anyway we have a match to call you know in that thing we call the ring Steal?”
Neal Steal-“Shut up! He’s handing that gun to the timekeeper I certainly wouldn’t have allowed him to put it under our table…”
David Saturn-“Oh and what you have done if he did? Beat him up…ha ha ha…”
Both men lockup and Flammenkrieg demonstrates his superior strength by shoving Rusty down to the mat with ease. Flammenkrieg poses and talks a little trash to Axel as he gets back to his feet. Flammenkrieg whips Rusty off the ropes and as Axel rebounds he is driven into the mat with a powerslam!
Flammenkrieg follows this up with an elbowdrop.
Neal Steal-“Show a bit more respect! He’s got no respect for safety and now he’s insulting his opponent…”
David Saturn-“Oh SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN GUN! It looks like he’s trying to encourage Rusty to me wants him to put up more of a fight than he’s showing so far…”
Flammenkrieg talks some more trash almost as if he is unimpressed with Axel’s efforts so far. Rusty is certainly being dominated as Flammenkrieg drops another big elbow. Stomp to the back by Flammenkrieg, whip off the ropes and Axel is driven into the mat with a SPINEBUSTER! Flammenkrieg puts Axel out of his misery as he makes the cover…1,2…3! Flammenkrieg raises his hands saluting the fans as he celebrates his victory.
WINNER BY PINFALL: FLAMMENKRIEG
David Saturn-“I think Flammenkrieg will face stiffer competitions and that’s what he probably wants. Still an impressive debut by Flammenkrieg he’s certainly an incredibly powerful man to be expected at his size I guess…”
Neal Steal-“Then he should stick to using intimidation in the ring. Rusty probably thought he might try and use that gun on him no wonder he didn’t put up much of a fight…”
David Saturn-“I hope he uses it on you if you don’t stop going on about it! We have to go for a commercial…”
Neal Steal-“Yes hopefully he won’t burn the building down with that weapon before we return…"
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JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT SAYS:
AWR-IT'S A CUT ABOVE THE REST!!!
Neal Steal-"Where's my water!"
David Saturn-"Who cares! We have another match coming up now...and no they don't have a gun with them!"
SINGLES MATCH
JASON HOWARD VS RED RANDAL
From Halifax, Canada...Red...RANDAL!!!
From Gaithersburg, Maryland...Jason...HOWARD!!!
Lockup and Howard begins to twist on the arm of Randal. 3 punches to the face by Howard as he tries to hyper extend the arm of Randal. Howard motions to the crowd momentarily distracting himself as Randal nails him with right hands of his own. Randal then charges and knocks Howard down with a hard clubbing blow to the face.
Neal Steal-"That might knock some sense into Howard. He got a fluke win over Romeo last week and at an untelevised event he made some comments which were not even remotely funny...who finds diaper and testicle jokes amusing?"
David Saturn-"Well I don't see everything that goes on...I'm a busy man backstage at those televised events? Who told you anyway what went on were you not too busy sucking up over at Megala Enterprises as usual?
Howard rolls to the outside as Randal climbs to the top rope and begins abusing the crowd. Howard regains his bearings and both men lock up again. Randal backs Howard into the corner turnbuckle but Howard fights back with punches. Randal is now being backed into the corner taking several shots to the face and ribs. Randal isn’t doing the greatest job of covering up here as Howard gets in several shots…
David Saturn-"Randal needs to learn how to protect himself! Last week he raised a chair in front of his face not once bit twice...and paid fot it both times!"
Neal Steal-"Randal certainly needs a win...more pressure on Randal here tonight I believe..."
Kicks to the ribs by Howard who then whips Randal into the opposite corner. Howard follows up with a running clothesline knocking the wind out of Randal. Shot to the back as Randal clutches his ribs and and another punch to the face. Whip into the opposite corner by Howard but great counter by Randal as he catches Howard on the charge and nails him with a spinebuster.
Randal now has Howard on the mat and nails him with a flurry of punches to the face.
David Saturn-"Near fall! I don't know how resilient Howard is going to be. Randal does seem to have some resilience he managed to show some fight after Crowley looked like annihilating him at one stage."
Neal Steal-"Well this match seems far more even..."
Legdrop by Randal and the cover…1,2…shoulder up by Howard. Kick to the back by Randal followed by a shot to the head of Howard. Headbutt by Randal as he pulls Howard to his feet and then he rakes Howard across the face. Randal them insults the crowd again before charging at Howard. Mistake there by Randal giving Howard time to sidestep and pull the ropes causing Randal to crash to the outside.
David Saturn-"Jason Howard one of the first to bring out some AWR merchandise.."
Neal Steal-"What do you think about my branding idea...Steal's Steals!"
David Saturn-"I think that is just plain lame!"
Neal Steal-"Well they should listen. Howard's merchandise probably won't sell anyway they will need to use my name to clear out all the stock!"
Randal holds his back which he caught on the apron as he fell. Randal on his feet and Howard nails him with a baseball slide. Howard has Randal backed up against the barricade now and nails him with a shot to the ribs. Another punch by Howard before he tosses Randal back into the ring.
David Saturn-"Randal needs to work on his defensive techniques. The man simply does not cover up...and its not as if he can't defend himself..."
Neal Steal-"Well he just blocked that suplex attempt didn't he?"
Kick to the ribs by Howard and then he goes for a suplex. Randal fights it off and counters with a suplex of his own. Both men get back to their feet with both men exchanging punches. Randal gets the better of the fistfight and goes to whip Howard off the ropes. Howard reverses the whip and as Randal rebounds he is nailed wth a DDT!
David Saturn-"Howard taking his eyes away from his opponent again...almost cost him against Damascus last week who for some reason nailed the referee instead..."
Neal Steal-"Hearing we might not see Romeo here again...shame it was good to have someone of such intellect on AWR Tv! Back to the general lack of intelligence now..."
David Saturn-"Mostly your lack of intellect!"
Howard climbs to the top rope but takes too much time gesturing to the crowd. Randal launches himself off the ropes causing Howard a rather painful landing. Howard is crotched don the top rope and Randal delivers an insulting slap to the face. Randal then pokes Howard in the eye and blatantly chokes him over the top rope.
David Saturn-"Randal does not mind trying to take a few shortcuts. Nothing he won't do to bend the rules given the slightest opportunity..."
Neal Steal-"Howard really needs to keep this in the ring..."
Howard manages to break free but falls to the outside. Randal follows and rams Howard face first into the steel steps. Howard rolled back into the ring and Randal charges. Howard raises his elbow catching Randal in the face. Randal charges, Howard ducks an elbow and Randal accidentally nails the referee.
David Saturn-"Oh thats an original choice of weapon..."
Neal Steal-"Hurry up Randal!"
David Saturn-"How can you be so 2 faced? Randal goes for a chair its ok...if its Hell you moan and complain..."
Randal ducks a ferocious clothesline attempt and nails Howard with a blatant low blow. Randal quickly goes to the outside and goes for his usual choice of weapon…a steel chair. Randal whacks Howard across the back with the chair. DOUBLE ARMED DDT by Randal right on the chair! Randal makes the cover disposing of the evidence as the referee regains his bearings…1,2…3!
WINNER BY PINFALL: RED RANDAL
David Saturn-"Randal gets his first win though certainly nothing to be proud of.."
Neal Steal-"Well he looks proud to me...I bet he does not care less what you think..."
David Saturn-Back with the main event after our last commercial...
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MAIN EVENT
SINGLES MATCH
BRET HARRIS VS ROBERT CARR
From Dartmouth, Canada...Bret...HARRIS!!!
From Ontario, Canada...Robert...CARR!!!
David Saturn-“Former partners to collide in our main event here. Bret Harris and Robert Carr were part of a group called The Gathering in the past but there is certainly no alliance here after last week…”
Neal Steal-“All Robert Carr has asked for is a fair chance everywhere he’s been. He comes to AWR and he’s being blamed for something he didn’t even do…he has every right to be upset…”
David Saturn-“This guy would be upset no matter what. He was such a natural whiner and complainer in the past nothing appears to have changed…”
Neal Steal-Because of this obvious setup conspiracy against him.
Carr charges at Harris…considering the fact Harris was the one assaulted it seems surprising Carr is the one who seems angrier. Still if Carr is telling the truth there’s few things more infuriating than false accusations. Harris sidesteps as Carr tries to take out the leg. Carr dives in again headfirst and gets a kick in the head from Harris.
David Saturn-“Harris going after the head of Carr here. Considering it is most likely Carr who put several stitches in the heard of Harris last week no surprise that’s what he’s targeting…”
Neal Steal-“Innocent until proven guilty. Even that oaf Hell agrees are you saying he’s wrong?”
David Saturn-“I don’t agree with Hell on everything. I just believe the evidence he was standing over Harris with a baseball bat for goodness sake. 2-Fly Kidd received a similar injury obviously at the hands of the same person…”
Club to the back of the head by Harris, whips Carr off the ropes, Harris misses a clothesline and Carr leverages himelf against the ropes and nails Harris with an elbow. Spinning heel kick by Carr and Harris knocked to the floor. Carr with a baseball slide after which he enters the ring to argue with the referee for no apparent reason. Carr them dives over the top rope with a somersault plancha taking Harris down!
David Saturn-“This match is not a no disqualification! Carr must have warned the referee to back off but this won’t be allowed…
Neal Steal-“I don’t blame Carr if he wants to take a shortcut. Screwed by promoters at every turn…”
David Saturn-Oh shut up! Are you kissing his ass now as well?”
Carr then looks under the ring and pulls out a table. Carr yells at the fans “I DIDN’T DO IT” as he sets up the table. However the loss of focus that has damaged his prospects so badly in the past gives Harris time to recover. Harris clubs Carr in the back and rolls him back into the ring. Exchange of fists now with Harris getting the better of the exchange. Whip into the corner turnbuckle by Harris which he follows up by nailing Carr with an elbow.
Neal Steal-“He was booked against a homosexual pervert who he had to sue for sexual harassment. He was booked against a retard don’t tell me Carr hasn’t been treated badly.”
David Saturn-“Its his attitude he thinks everything should be handed to him. His superiority complex, his whining and complaining,,,”
Scoop slam by Harris who climbs to the top rope. Harris leaps off dropping knees first across Carr’s chest…1,2…and Carr kicks out. Back to the top rope goes Harris but Carr is up and catches Bret with a punch. More punches as Harris remains perched on the turnbuckle. Carr climbs up and springs off the ropes taking Harris down with a hurricanrana!
David Saturn-“Carr is so paranoid he even accused Bret of faking his injury. I assure all of you nothing was fake about the stitches he received…”
Neal Steal-“Carr chased off the hooded attacker he saw. Harris could have been hurt much worse.”
David Saturn-“Oh and he just happened to be carrying a baseball bat with him! Only he claims to have seen an attacker!”
Neal Steal-“He had it signed by a major baseball star. He had simply gone to show it off to Harris. I don’t think Carr humbles himself by asking for autographs he probably intended it as a gift for Harris…”
David Saturn-“What a load of crap…”
Neal Steal-“Well could you blame him if he carries a baseball bat everywhere he goes? He’s been stabbed in the back time and time again he probably had it to protect himself and instead he ended up protecting Harris…”
1,2…and Harris kicks out. elbowdrop by Carr and another cover…1,2…and Harris kicks out. Carr yells at the referee no doubt in Carr’s mind another guy in on the mass conspiracy against him. Stomps and punches by Carr, whips Harris into the corner and springs off the ropes again. However Carr misses with the flying elbow and Harris catches him with a boot to the face.
Neal Steal-“You will be apologising to Carr when he proves his innocence…
David Saturn-“I will apologise to him if he is right OK? Not for all the other conspiracy nonsense he’s fabricated but if he didn’t attack Harris I’ll admit I was wrong about that. Still the evidence points to Carr you are just gullible enough to take Carr’s word for it…”
Neal Steal”I’ve suffered at the hands of one of his main tormentors in the past. I know how he must have felt…Carr has all the skills he just needs people to be fair to him…”
Harris gestures to the crowd and climbs to the top rope. The fans are certainly on the side of Harris here. Carr quickly gets up however and carries Harris with a shot to the ribs. Harris however stuns Carr with an incredible flying clothesline knocking him right over the ropes! Carr manages to avoid falling to the outside holding onto the apron.
David Saturn-“I guess Carr will moan about knocked over the top rope now. After all that used to be an automatic DQ in some places years back…
Neal Steal-“Oh shut up! His complaints have been legitimate! Every single one!”
David Saturn-“About time he looked in the mirror if he wants to know who’s truly to blame for his limited success…”
Carr gets to his feet holding the ropes to support himself but Harris nails him with a martial arts kick. This time Carr can’t avoid dropping to the outside. Harris then leaps over the top rope with a crossbody! Harris rolls Carr back into the ring but Carr surprises him with a low dropkick. Stomps by Carr and a punch as Harris gets back to his feet. Whip by Carr, reversed by Harris who then nails Carr in the corner with a running knee to the ribs…
David Saturn-“Harris looking for his first win in AWR. He beat Red Randal by countout on our debut show…”
Neal Steal-“Thanks to Hell sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong…”
David Saturn-“Then of course the events last week took place. Harris looking for his first pinfall victory…Carr looking for his first victory in AWR!”
Neal Steal-“Only because its his debut you’re talking as if he’s been on a losing streak…”
David Saturn-“No I wasn’t!”
Scoop slam by Harris who then climbs to the top rope and comes off with a moonsault! Harris is a little slow to the cover…1,2…and Carr gets his shoulder up! Harris wastes too much time contemplating what to do next and Carr gets to his feet. Harris then charges and Carr sidesteps throwing Harris over the top rope.
Neal Steal-“Harris is supposed to be a technician yet he’s trying to take it to the outside…he knows he can’t outwrestle Carr…”
David Saturn-“Carr with a hurricanrana! Now Carr’s looking at the table…how can you accuse Harris of wanting this to turn into a total brawl. He hasn’t brought out weapons…”
Neal Steal-“He’s shown no intent…”
David Saturn-“Just because he hasn’t hit Harris with the damn thing does not mean it takes a genius to work out he wants to!”
Carr leaps over the ropes and nails Harris with another hurricanrana! Carr notices the table he removed from under the ring earlier and manages to set it up fully this time. Punch by Carr and he rolls Harris into position across the table. Hard shot to the chest by Carr who climbs up on the apron. However the referee calls for the bell counting both men out! Carr is incensed accusing the ref of a fast count!
WINNER: DOUBLE COUNTOUT
David Saturn-“He has no right to complain he’s lucky he wasn’t disqualified!”
Neal Steal-“Incoming!”
Carr leaps off the ropes with a springboard moonsault but does not break the table. Carr tries again with a splash from the apron and that does not cause it to break. Carr screams in frustration (nobody he can blame for that surely?) before finally trying a legdrop which does work sending Harris through the table.
Carr climbs into the crowd raising his arms aloft and abusing the fans around him. Harris may have been knocked out cold by that legdrop…
David Saturn-“Carr is a very unpopular man already! What right has he got to abuse our fans!”
Neal Steal-“They deserve all the abuse they get! Carr has every right to celebrate even if he didn’t win the match he’s the one leaving on his feet with dignity!”
David Saturn-“Carr has no dignity! Harris looks like he’s knocked out. This might only be the start of what this angry, bitter young man Rob Carr is capable of! See you next week live on CRASH Tv!”